HOCD

[teexiki]

I have a boyfriend who i've been with for 3 years now and i can't even get intimate with him without me thinking of a girl just to check that i'm straight. I break down whenever i'm with him because i feel like i'm lying to him and that i'm cheating on him with my own brain. HOCD is so so hard and i feel like i wont get out of it. My psychiatrist says i should be doing small ERP tasks for it but whenever i go to do them my mind tricks me into thinking that i really am gay so why would ERP work?

[TheGreatAvoider]

I too suffer from intrusive sexual thoughts and images.

We can't be held responsible for thoughts. Only our actions.

Best regards.

[teexiki in reply to TheGreatAvoider]

Thank you for replying; and that is true.

[lavender9201]

That sounds very hard, and I’m sorry you’re struggling. I think your doc is right - you will benefit from doing ERP around this. One thing I am working on is accepting that I can never know something is 100% true or false. It’s simply impossible. So, you may need to accept that there could always be uncertainty about your sexuality. I know that might sound very scary but allowing that idea to exist will become a lot less scary over time. Very best wishes and thoughts for you!!

[teexiki in reply to lavender9201]

Thank you very much! I have thought about that before how i can never be 100% certain and you're right it is terrifying. However i think its very helpful as well. Best wishes to you as well, good on you for working on accepting that.