Update!!

[MyOCD123]

Hi everyone!

It’s been too long since I have posted on here and I feel so disconnected from the community. I have been trying to write on here for a few weeks now but each time I struggle with finding the right words. I put an unnecessary pressure on myself to craft the perfect post and be an inspiration to others — but truth be told I still have my struggles and days where I feel like I am hardly keeping my head above water. And that is OK.

I have been seeing my therapist on a monthly basis now and doing relatively well in between appointments. There are still certain themes and thoughts that are difficult to shake but I am continuing to fight. Right now I am facing a bit of anxiety regarding false memories and the idea of possibly harming a loved one. There are many compulsions I could be doing right now to get the temporary relief OCD would like for me to believe I need, but I am done playing that game.

Am I uncomfortable? Yes. Am I scared? Yes. Do I still feel overwhelming guilt and shame at times? Also yes. But is this fight worth it? HELL YES. Every day is a challenge but I am always left with an overwhelming feeling of gratitude. I am a fighter. We are all fighters. My thoughts weigh heavily on me, but each day I am going to rise up and fight. I am not my thoughts and I am not defined by the lies that OCD spews at me, and neither are you.

It has been a rough journey and I know there will be bumpy roads ahead still, but I also know that I am not alone in this. I hope to be more active on this forum and connect more. We are all in this together, and we will get up to fight another day. And we will survive. 💕

[Hidden]

Hi 123 - You're right. We are ALL fighting this disease, so we shouldn't be embarrassed during the times we're struggling with it. I am so proud of you the way you fight OCD. You have come such a long way because of it.

[MyOCD123 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you!

[trailwalker53]

Hi....your posts have always helped me personally. I have been searching so long for a support group to attend in person but haven't been able to find one. At times I do feel so alone in this. Thanks for reminding me that I'm not! Even if we all can't meet in person, it is so helpful knowing that we are in this together. I wish you strength in your fight!

[Gimi44 in reply to trailwalker53]

You are not alone!!! We feel all the same and this group had helped me enormously. I do not have neither a family not a job at this moment and I live in other continent so imagine how important is this community for me. We're fighters👍. I love you guys!

[MyOCD123 in reply to Gimi44]

Thank you both! We are a family in this 💕

[Hidden]

I am glad that you are improving, I think that we always need to be aware that obsession is the thought and that compulsion is the action. I sometimes become so overwhelmed with the obsession that I am then compelled to act. The medicine does not help with this part, I have to be aware of myself at that moment.

[MyOCD123 in reply to Hidden]

It’s hard to keep ourselves accountable for sure but it’s gotten much easier for me over the months and I hope it has for you as well! 💕

[LuvSun]

Way to go 💪💪