Hi so I've just finished my 1 and only cycle of ivf. It's failed unfortunately but I didn't really respond to the treatment. My one and only egg that was retrieved did not evolve properly after fertilization. Feel like a total failure. Don't know how I will ever accept not having children. Does it get easier?? I'm dreading being back in the company of my workies who most have children and there pitying looks.

5 Replies

  • Hi. I also went through my 1 and only cycle of IVF and did not respond well to treatment. It has been 3 years since I was told by consultant that the eggs they had collected had not formed properly. I found it difficult to come to terms with this and found work colleagues said things that were quite hurtful. However, I made the decision to meet up with the Kent MTL who have become a source of support when I am going through difficult times. As time has gone by it has become easier to deal with things. I would recommend meeting up with your local MTL group if you have one. It is the best thing I decided to do. You are not alone. Take care. Tracey

  • Hi Ajack77,

    We ceased treatment earlier this year after 2 mcs from natural conceptions and 3 BFNs from 3 rounds of ICSI. It was initially a relief but I then entered a long time of feeling very sad. I have had some counselling which helped me cope with the grief of all the failures and resultant childlessness. It also helped me understand the grief cycle and that my reaction is normal. I've also been reading Jody Day's book. It is getting easier and I don't feel so helpless. Things still can get to me and probably always will.

    You'll see that there are other posts about this.

    Have you got a close friend at work who you could talk to about it and can support you when you just need to exit situations? I tend to switch off when my colleagues talk about their children and for a long time felt I had nothing to say but the counsellor questioned this thought and sometimes I chip in and it feels ok now.

  • Hi

    Our 4th and final round of Isci failed 2 weeks ago and I have been really struggling since. I'm finding it very hard to come to terms with not being able to have my own children. Like you, all my work colleagues and friends have small children so I feel very isolated and totally overwhelmed by sadness. I have also started to get a lot of anxiety.

    I have been to see my gp and she has put me on antidepressants to try and help me through this. She's also given me some sleeping pills as I wasn't sleeping. These are helping already and my mind is a bit clearer. I have also started counselling this week.

    I'm sorry that I can't be much help but I just wanted you to know you're not alone. This is a terrible thing we are going through. I just keep holding on to the thought that things will get easier and I will feel better. It will just take some time.


  • I'm glad you've seen your GP. I had to have sleeping tablets after weeks of insomnia after the first BFN and went onto antidepressants too. Once they kicked in they really helped. I hope the counselling helps as well. I'm off the meds and generally my sleeping is fine most of the time. Things are much better and it will get easier for you too.

  • Thanks pm27. The sleeping tablets are helping and I'm waiting for the antidepressants to kick in so hopefully they will soon! Glad things seem to be going ok for you! Gives me hope. Thanks for your support x