completely neglected

Thankyou for your responses.

from the age of 18 I lived alone,

my guardians and the NHS, not that I am complaing,

did not teach me basic things,

for instance,

sleeping in the correct position,

bathing correctly,

the amount I needed to eat.

Basic phsyio stuff.

Instead of telling me very basic things,

I was told I have an incurable condition.

4 Replies

  • How very sad that this has happened and you are left feeling this way. According to Maslow's hierarchy of needs, without these solid foundations it is pretty much impossible to develop emotionally. Who helps you now?

  • Hi

    It's really sad that you have been let down by the services that were there to help you. Often people find it easier to stick labels on people than to cope with their own depression about not being able to offer all the help people need.

    You say you weren't taught the basic things which sounds like you mean you feel you weren't parented. That's very sad and hard to overcome. I had everything materially but my emotional needs weren't met and like you I wasn't taught to take care of myself bodily and still find that hard to do at times and I'm 63! But you are alive and your condition clearly wasn't incurable as you are here writing on the website. You may not be cured, but you are human and able to communicate with the rest of humanity which suggests you have problems that can be understood by people. What was the incurable condition you were told you have? I don't know how the people thought they knew what was incurable unless it's a physical fact. Most mental disorders can be helped enormously and most people with emotional and mental problems can be helped to live normal lives if they are able to access the right services.

    You are struggling with practical problems like how much to eat and how to take care of yourself - you can get care with those. I don't know your age or circumstances but CBT could help you to structure your days so you are able to learn to take care of those basic needs.

    You say you don't know how to sleep in the correct position and that makes it sound as if you think there is a correct way to do everything and you don't know how to do it? You can sleep any way you like, however it is comfortable for you. It's not up to anyone else and no one can advise you what position to sleep in because they don't know what feels like a good position to you. It sounds as if you have not learned to trust yourself to know what your needs are and how to meet them. If you shower or wash to keep yourself from being smelly that's good enough! No one can tell you how you should wash, you keep yourself comfortable and not smelly, that's all any of us do. In terms of what to eat, there are great websites that say what good eating is, you could try the BBC website and go on their health pages, or put in a search for a healthy diet and the info will be there, it isn't easy to motivate yourself to follow info and that's why I suggested CBT which would support you Your GP could refer you if you ask him. Tell him you are struggling with structuring your life and need CBT to help you do that so you can start to feel better.

    You say you are not complaining but perhaps you need to learn to complain - politely of course. You have had a hard time, perhaps being brought up in Care and with input from professionals but not feeling loved and looked after for yourself. No one will ever give you back your childhood, they can't, but you are alive and able to think, talk and write. There is a lot of support on this website, also you can read for yourself about the supposedly incurable condition and make up your own mind, the more informed you are the better you can ask for what you need. Keep writing, we can help you by supporting you here, and do see your GP about CBT if you think it may help.


  • Hi Misterporpoise , you have been through a terrible time, but now you can begin to care for yourself, trust your own feelings and have your own opinions. Sue above has said it all and its a great answer to your post. With help you will find your way to be yourself. we are all different, we all like different foods and so on, but I think Making a daily list of a plan or structure would help you too. You could put .

    Morning. Make bed and shower.

    Lunch. Eat maybe soup and sandwich or Baked Potato with Tuna and Beans

    Supper. Eat again, Maybe Meat or Fish and Veg or Rice or Potatoes.

    Snack on Fruits and Yogurts if hungry, and drink plenty of water too.

    Plan to do some excercise every day. Walk or Swim.

    Watch DVD Or surf the net.

    Dont forget to wash clothes, towels and bedclothes once a week. Hoover and tidy up.

    I am not sure if you are working or not, but you do need support in setting a structure for your life. Where are you living now? or do you live alone?

    We are all here for you and please keep in touch.

    Big hug to you.


  • I forgot to say Eat Breakfast, Cereal and Juice and Toast maybe.


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