I have my ESA Tribunal coming up on Tues 18 afternoon.
Last Tuesday I went to see my representative for a mock hearing. A few weeks ago he gave me a letter & 2 questions for the panel to address.
On Tuesday my son came with me & was in on the Mock hearing. My Representative is basing my appeal on my Mental Health as that is what I was first signed off with. However since then I have also been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. He does not want my Fibro to be brought into question as it should be treated as a fresh claim. Anyway he gave me a copy of the letter & questions a couple of weeks ago. On my way to see him I felt physically sick with nerves & anxiety. I could not answer any of the questions, he was getting very frustrated with me which I felt did'nt help me. My son later told me that the Representative was telling me how to answer the questions. I now have to go see my Representative 3 hrs before my hearing so that he can go through the procedure again with me.
Whe we came home my son (bless him) done me out a question & answers chart & asked me to think about how I feel in respect to the questions in my real life. Since Tuesday I have been able to fill 2 A4 pages with answers. The thing thay causes me most worry is that I've been told the questions will be asked only in different ways. I may sound stupid but this really scares me. I dont know what to expect, I have so much anxiety I have been in bed since Tuesday evening & I am a bundle of nerves with a few panic attacks thrown in.
My son called to see me & looked at my answers & told me I had done well. Its ok telling me that in the safefty of my home & writing answers down. I am scared sick that on the day my mind will go blank & I cant answer these oeople.
I am a total wreck at the moment. I can handle pain but depression & anxiety is totally different to me. I lock myself away & cut myself off from people. I honestly dont know if I can go through with this procedure.
Has anyone else gone through an ESA Tribunal? If so can you tell me what it is like?
My Mum made a comment to me saying "I dont know why you bother going through that, why dont you just get a job". She later apologised as I lost a jib I was in for 22 yrs due to my Mental Health problems & the same thing happened again with a job I got & lasted 4 years before being paind off on health grounds.
This anxiety is absolutely killing me. Is it worth it all?