im in the middle of a very messy divorce,still living with my hushband,he wont go,i started a new job last week,i cant face going.

[suzybiglips]

i cant sleep,eat feel worried all the time and have a constant headache and aches and pains. My mum says chin up, will soon be over keep strong for the kids,they are 15 and 12.Its hard so much going on in my head .Am i depressed or is it just stress.

[Getting-By]

Hi

Good to meet you it sound like you have a lot going on at the moment and a lot of stress and anxiety can make you feel depressed they seem to run alongside each other. I am not a doctor so can not say weather you are depressed or not but would suggest that it would be worthwhile going to speak with your doctor. Let us know how you are doing.

[AOD01]

Hi,

Stress can alter our physical symptoms, such as the headaches, which in turn can alter our thinking and feeling leading to depression. The best thing to do would be to speak to your GP and try to determine what's causing the stress. Perhaps your mother or a family member could look after the children to let you have some time on your own to relax and do something which you enjoy?

[Hidden]

I'm not suprised you're feeling stressed! I don't know the reasons for your divorce but the fact that it's not amicable and you're having to cope with your husband still being in the house when you want him gone must be incredibly stressful. I admire the way you are coping at all! The job must feel like another demand, but once you've started you may find it's a relief to be out of the house, away from reminders about what's going on? Also you may be able to make friends at work and find them supportive. I do hope so.

From the time I realised I wanted a divorce until the time I got one it was 10 years. My husband used the emotional blackmail of saying that I if I divorced him I wouldn't get custody of the children because of my 'psychiatric history - all I'd done was turn to a therapist for help with the emotions I was experiencing, but I believed him husband and eventually after training as a teacher and getting a full-time job so that I could buy myself somewhere to live, I left him with the house and the children, despite being told by a solicitor that I was entitled to keep it all. I didn't believe that! My husband took on the mortgage, but I lost day to day care of the children and the lifestyle of living in a nice middle class area where I had friends and acquaintances as well as access to good facilities. I'm glad you are sticking it out to keep the home and sorry that your husband is being difficult by refusing to leave. I don't know whether he has been a decent husband or abusive, either way it must be difficult for him to cope with the idea of leaving. How does he feel about it? Is he resentful, feeling that you are getting everything while he has to lose it all, or maybe he is difficult anyway and this is just another example. Either way I do hope things work out for you and that he finds somewhere else to go to. Is there any way you can help him with that, not financially but by making suggestions, or would he dig his heels in further. People are so different that it's impossible to know what's best for you both.

It must be difficult enough for you being a parent of two almost teenage children and keeping going whilst waiting for things to be finalised legally, without having to cope with your husband still being in the home. I do hope you will not be having to sell the house but that once the divorce is through your husband will not be legally entitled to stay and that then you will be able to resort to the law to ensure he leaves Divorce is very difficult, even when things are amicable. When we marry we assume things will work out and forget how painful it is for everyone when they do not. Good luck and I do hope things change for you in the near future.xx