How do you accept help qnd accept yourself?

[UncomfortablelyNumb]

I recently let the flood gates open again. I told my family that I've been struggling with my mental health for a long time. Maybe 20+ years and this isn't the first time I've come forward but I never get past this point. I shut back down and repeat my self destruction process all over again. I've struggled with finding my way in life because of this. I've struggled holding down jobs, with relationships, and being the best father I can be because of this. I never wanted to be a burden to anyone so I always acted fine. Well, I became a burden while trying not to be. Sometimes it got to much and I would seek a little help but I never stuck with it. I contemplated suicide ten years ago. I checked myself in for a week and was on medication for 3-4 months. I stopped using it because I didn't feel I was worthy of the help. Ever since then I've tried to deal with it but my life and the lives of my loved ones have suffered because of it. Since I can remember I've never felt worthy of anything. Like, my life was too good for me. I've never felt like I was lovable. In general I don't like anything about myself. How do you accept help and accept yourself?

[Klaus-sperger]

Difficult conflict as you have a big block.its a bit like how can I drive my motorcar without putting petrol in .? If you can find a therapy or self treatment that does not make you feel you're not worth it that may be good.

I tend to feel that vitamins and mineral supplements are a waste of time and also I pay money to get them so I find this self treatment easy to do because 1. I don't feel vitamins and mineral pills will help me much and 2.im paying money for them so it's up to me ,nobodies helping me instead I'm spending my own hard earned cash to get something to try .

I think this advice may be totally off the point but thought I would offer it in the remote chance something might be true or connect with you.

Feel free to let me know.

Joe

[UncomfortablelyNumb in reply to Klaus-sperger]

I thank you for the advice. I'm not sure what I need this time around. I know I need to keep myself motivated to make it through this and I'm willing to do whatever it takes for my kids.

[hypercat54 in reply to UncomfortablelyNumb]

The idea of meds is they can help you feel a bit better so you feel more able to get some therapy. They have their place if they help you. If you can't do it for yourself then do it for your wife and kids.

You know they deserve better.