Negativity & Anger

[McDowallr1]

Finding it very hard to be positive nowadays when I have everything going for me in life, amazing daughter & girlfriend, nice home, nice car and brilliant job. The littlest things set me off and make everyone around me have anxiety and it’s not the life I want for my family or myself. Throwing everything away because I can’t control my emotions. Can anyone she’s some light and advice please?

[SoporRose]

My husband was the same way. What makes me hopeful for you all is that you write "it’s not the life I want for my family or myself." I applaud you for not blaming those who love you.

Get whatever help you can as soon as you can. Talk to your doctor; find a therapist. I know it's hard to get appointments these days, but all the more reason to jump into arranging them as soon as possible. Unfortunately, there will be no quick and easy fix, but please please do what's best for your family.

Meanwhile, try to understand from where your anger comes. Were you raised in an angry home? Was it always there or did a more recent event bring it on? Are you angry at work, in social situations, or just at home? Ask your girlfriend (and your daughter, if she's old enough) what they need from you. Do they need you to leave the house or remove yourself to another room when you're starting to get negative and upset? Is there a signal they can give you that you will be able to respect — a word, a hand gesture — to let you know you have to settle down before re-engaging with them? Keep in mind that if your behaviour is making them anxious and afraid, they are going to need time to get perspective and learn to trust you again.

I might be easier for a while to communicate by writing notes. Notes allow time to cool down and think for both parties before responding out of fear or anger. They are also helpful in making sure there's a record of what was said and how it was said, which can be helpful when you do start therapy.

I don't mean to be harsh. Our family is still dealing with the repercussions of my husband's anger even though our children are now grown and I know the damage a situation like this can cause. Aside from what those around you are experiencing, you obviously want to change and don't want the burden of carrying around shame for your anger. The fact that you genuinely want to develop better relationships with your family should make all the difference.

I sincerely wish you well.

[Rick1on1]

Give us some examples of your negative thoughts....

[tofler]

Sorry to hear that you're feeling this way, but at least you're aware of it now and wanting to do something about it. Do you any previous history of depression or other mental health conditions? Have you tried talking to a doctor about how you're feeling at the moment?

[Hidden]

If not already you need to make an appointment with your Doctor.Anger problems and associated conditions need to be looked into because this problem can start to effect your family members and work

Initially your GP MAY give medications in the first instances, A CPN assessment may be sought, You need to give the medication upwards of six weeks to work so be patient

Try Mindfulness a Relaxation Technique, books purchased on Amazon for about £8;00 is worth following.

Consider diversions like Hobbies etc to help control your thoughts and problems. Gardening MAY help.

Have you somewhere to go to get some peace and bring yourself down, try not to jump when you feel you are loosing control, turning away if possible will help. I have a tendacy to move to a different room.

Try Breathing Techniques that will help you calm yourself

BOB