How to deal with people that belittle you?

[Chocoholic_18_x]

I think I asked this question a while ago but I have had quite a few recent occasions of people being patronizing to me, and it just seems to be getting worse despite the fact the I’ve felt my confidence improving.

Firstly, I just turned 18 last week, and as I mentioned on here before, I’ve never had a boyfriend nor have I had sex… but just because I’m still a virgin and single, doesn’t mean I’m clueless when it comes to men and sex, I’m very well educated and know a lot about it. But not everyone seems to think so.

I was out for my 18th with my friend and my two step sisters (whom I’m not very close with), and they’re all very experienced with guys and sex, and all know that I haven’t yet had a real relationship. But anyways, we were choosing drinks to get from the bar, and we chose to get 4 orgasms. As my friend went to the bar to order, me and my two step sisters were just waiting at the table, and the two of them were laughing about how the drinks were called orgasms, and I decided to join in by laughing at their jokes about the drink, and one of them turned around to me and said “sweetie, do you know what an orgasm is?”, and I just sat there thinking… “ffs? Sis- do you hear yourself?” (Excuse my language, lol). Bare in mind, my two step sisters are only 2 and 3 years older than me, so it wasn’t like they were my mums age calling me sweetie. These were two girls that were a similar age to me, and it just rubs me the wrong way when people my own age call me “sweetie” or “honey”.

Anyways, before I could get my words out to answer her ridiculous question, the other step sister said “aw, it’s okay, we’ll educate you!”… I was so frustrated after that, also offended. It just made me feel like I was stupid and naive… which couldn’t be further from the truth, I’m just painfully shy and suffer with extreme social anxiety and low self-esteem. I just wish people understood that just because you haven’t yet experienced something, doesn’t mean you have no knowledge on it.

And another occasion, I was out with my friend walking in the park, and we were talking about the TV show, Love Island. I made this pretty sexual joke to my friend, and she just stood in shock and said, “Wow, I’m surprised that you know about that!”, talking to me as if I was a child and am just learning about sex and reproduction for the first time. It makes me so mad, honestly. Is it wrong that I hate being perceived as innocent by people?

Also that same day, we met up with a guy, and tbh my friend is pretty obsessed with sex, so they were talking about sex. And my friend jokingly said to me, “you’re into porn, right?”, and I immediately panicked, since I have extreme social anxiety and didn’t know whether to say yes or no. So I just awkwardly paused, and the guy said “to be honest, I wouldn’t be surprised if she didn’t know what porn was”, in this moment I was so angry with being belittled by people, I just sharply replied, “I know what porn is, but thanks for your concern, mate.”

I’m honestly just sick and tired of being patronized and belittled by people, I just don’t know what the hell to do. I always get people talking to me like I’m a child, like I don’t know or understand anything, people always talk to me slowly and higher pitched like I won’t understand if they talk to me normally… but I just don’t know how to get rid of it, and it can be difficult to express myself fully because of my social anxiety. If anyone has any advice, that would be amazing!

Oh, and one more piece of advice… please treat everyone the same! It shouldn’t matter a persons personality, religion, gender, race, sexuality, ability/disability etc… please be nice to everyone, you don’t know what they have to deal with!

[Hidden]

Hello welcome backPersonally I would walk away, they are trying to show you up and interfere with your views and actions

Whether you are sexual experienced has nothing to do with your siblings or sister. They are just after a rise from you and sad to say this will continue. Even if you were sleeping around would make no difference.

Remember you sould like a very sincere person and those who call you are either unexperienced themselves or are just weak willed and are taking it to the next level and upsetting and cheepening you.

Just because other people sleep around does not mean you need to do that, You, You are who you are and I respect you for that. You will find someone in the future who will love you, because they are similar to you and your belief, do not ruin your needs and expectations. You are still very young and personally I would respect you for you actions and strength

BOB

[Yesterdayhurts]

Don't let them. They are just trying to make themselves feel superior, take that away by walking away . I am fairly good with words myself and have always been to able to respond in a way that puts them on the defensive completely removing what ever power they think they hold over me.

Being short all my life has made me a easy target. In order to stop teasing and harassment, I always had better short jokes then they had and was to make being short my strength as opposed to a vulnerable area.

Best of luck stand tall and strong and know your worth id beyond reproach.

Enjoy your day. Have a great forth.

[hypercat54]

Hi I answered your post on another site so am not going to repeat myself here. Did any of the replies help you?