These past few weeks haven’t been the best and feel like I’m slipping back down the hill to where I was a couple of years ago, I’ve been moving onwards and upwards (since really difficult separation from my ex nearly 2 years ago now) have even been on a few dates some I’ve know straight away it’s not going to work, whereas other dates I’m thinking that this could work (I don’t mean I’m planning the rest of our lives out but just that there seems to be a mutual spark that would be good to explore) but then I get the “I’ve been thinking a lot” message and the “but you’re a really nice guy” - not going to lie I’m sick to death of hearing it. I do appreciate their honesty and would rather know than be led on but o have no idea where I’m going wrong - I aim to be respectful to my dates, treat them like a lady and not put any pressure on them but to keep getting rejection after rejection is taking it’s toll but it has made me come to the realisation that maybe I’m more “broken” than I ever thought and it’s just going to take me longer to repair (if ever) or maybe it’s just that I’ve already met and missed that special someone who would be the one to add to my life. I just don’t know any more I just keep going round and round in circles in my head and it’s snowballing too much.
I’ve been off my meds for the past 6 months and don’t really want to go back on them because I didn’t like the side effects (tried several and they all had the same side effect which wasn’t favourable to dating).
Sorry for ranting but just needed to get this off
My chest and hopefully give me some peace in my head for a little while
Written by
Smudge2522
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7 Replies
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Take your time looking for that someone special, you have plenty of time! Why rush? Meanwhile enjoy friendship if they ask for that. It is good you can cope without medication. Enjoy your life because this is the time to enjoy. I’ll pray for you Smudge2522 . Your best life is now!
Smudge
Consider your Relationship broke down, that must have not been the correct one for you. Yes it is very nasty in many ways that you both broke away and whoever was wrong is really not the problem. Finding that right person takes time. You are better taking extra time for the right person, as when you know it is the correct one you will know. I remember I went out with many Ladies and sometimes I thought I had found the correct on, Sad to say they all broke down until I met the right one. We have been married for over forty years.
You will find that person, be selective and never do yourself down, Always be honest and never let that standard fall. You can trust a thief although not a liar.
Thank you BOB for the time you’ve taken to read and then reply. I shall do my best to keep your words in my mind but especially the final part about not letting standards fall it’s something I’m not planning on doing so thank you for that
This might be too scary when you're in a broken state, but you might ask some of these women if they could tell you, honestly but kindly, what the problem is. Explain that you're not going to argue with them, but you just want to know the best way to move forward more successfully. If you get the same answer from three of them, then you might want to consider what they say seriously or discuss it with a counselor.
I do understand what a slap in the face the "really nice guy" comment is. It sounds like it should be a compliment, but it's just getting damned with faint praise. I hope you find someone with whom to have a meaningful relationship soon.
Hi thank you for taking the time to read and also respond. You’re right that is a terrifying prospect but I think it’s something that I may have to give extra thought to. Thank you again really appreciate it
I’m so very sorry. Many thoughts of encouragement I’d like to share, but they sound trite to my own ears when I struggle to give them voice. Please just know I’m thinking good thoughts for you and you’re not alone in your quest for fulfillment.
Hi, thank you for taking the time to reply. I can certainly understand where you’re coming from especially not wanting to voice out loud those thoughts of encouragement it’s really difficult especially when they don’t sound right in our own heads! Thank you for the positive thoughts and I’m sending plenty of those right back at you in the hope that they aid you in your search also
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Feel so hopeless 
I'm 23, unemployed, still living at home and very, very lonely.
CPN very rarely turns up.
Feel so alone feel no one helps
feeling very anxious and scared, gone on too long
