Helpless and Betrayed

[greenpasture]

I've been crying every night since my boyfriend broke up with me. He said he'd still be there for me when I need help. But when I was cutting my wrist one night and really needed his help, he said it's my own choice and he didn't want to hear about anything I do. He said he couldn't help me. It just completely shattered my world because I can't believe the person I loved and trusted so much could care this little about me and lied to me again about he'd care for me. I don't know if any of the nice things he said were true or all just lies. I felt like I spent the past year with him in a lie. It just completely broke me because I don't know if love is real anymore. I just can't stop thinking about wanting to die and burst into tears for hours every day. It's really hard to live and my family are far away and can't visit me. I really don't know how I can survive the next few months until I can see my family again.

[Hidden]

You are responsible for yourself and must be strong and the way you cared for him you must care for yourself. You have to get through your down periods and must say to yourself 'you are getting better and better' - do this everyday until you believe you are well. You control your life and must be strong. You can overcome this and must try - put in your best effort! Prayers God Goddess

[Hidden]

Can this be the same beautiful person who reached out to me with such kind words. Did you leave none left for yourself. You're in such pain but had enough love in your heart to reach out to a stranger. Don't you see that you must do the same to yourself. He doesn't deserve you. If he did, he would be by your side.

Stop cutting, stop reaching out to someone who doesn't see your worth. You have to cut him out of your life, not cut yourself. It will hurt for a long time & you will think you can't possibly live without him. But you will. You will wish for death (I did often in the early days of my breakup), I prayed for it every night. Got drunk every night to escape my heartbreak. I drank every night for months til I could blank out the pain.

If I knew then what I knoe now I would of made a clean & complete break straight away. Instead I was a girlfriend for a year & slowly groomed into a fuck buddy. He even once called me a bucket....but a pretty bucket.

He's not worth it. Real love doesn't have to be forced & unfortunately some men can lie.

But I don't care about him because you are the most important thing in your world...or at least you should be. I know the pain seems endless but life will go on & I believe you are strong enough to put him in the past. But you have to put yourself first. Be kind to yourself today, tomorrow & every day after that.

Take care of you