mental limitations. repression. supression.

[roachkid]

i think dissociation plays a bigger role in my everyday mental health than i actually acknowlege... never actually considered these symptoms of dissosiation. i normally only catch it when its completely obvious because im bad at knowing myself nevertheless believing myself. sometimes i really feel stupid or crazy when i realize the complete lack of awareness that can occur when i dissosiate. ive gone to school before and thought i somehow managed to be absent during a lesson because i had no recollection of the topic even being introduced on days i was definitely present physically. its kinda scary to realize your brain has auto deleted something subconsiously. is it repression?is it forgetfulness? am i stupid? i dont want to believe my illusion of control over my body and mind is completely absolete.