Narcissist or Arsonist : Has anyone... - Mental Health Sup...

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Narcissist or Arsonist

isin13955 profile image
15 Replies

Has anyone else noticed how similar these two words are.

Today my wife and I had been happily working away sorting out my mothers belongings when I had a phone call. The call was from my mothers care manager to discuss her care plan. When I came off the phone I could tell the mood had changed and sure enough my wife exploded with rage calling my mother a “bloody dirty bitch who had ruined her life”. WTF am I meant to do?

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isin13955 profile image
isin13955
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15 Replies

What caused the Out Burst.

BOB

isin13955 profile image
isin13955 in reply to

Don't know mate, I'm a man so I wouldn't understand.

cortez profile image
cortez in reply toisin13955

Did you ask your wife why she thinks your mother has ruined her life?

isin13955 profile image
isin13955 in reply tocortez

Oh that’s easy , she’s self obsessed and has no consideration for the feelings of others.

in reply toisin13955

Is your Wife a Narcissist, I feel for you. Various types may those around them, if they are confronted

Check on the Internet, or there are many contributions and explanations of these types of people

BOB

isin13955 profile image
isin13955 in reply to

Thanks Bob. Sometimes she really just pushes my buttons knowing full well what she is doing. Tbh I’m getting really scared that I’m just going to snap one day and put an end to it once and for all! At the moment and for about the last six months it has been relentless, me me me constantly digging at me, my family , friends, neighbours in fact anybody that comes with 10 ft of her.

in reply toisin13955

Wow, it must be so difficult living with someone like that...is there no way of sitting down and talking it all through?

Suzie482

isin13955 profile image
isin13955 in reply to

Hi Suzie, thanks for your reply. I don't know if you know much about narcs but their primary objective is to be in complete control. When circumstances change and they cannot achieve this their behaviour becomes totally irrational and they will do/say anything to regain that control.

in reply toisin13955

Yes I do understand that one of the main features of a narc is having control and they are full of self importance too. The problem is how do you deal with that? My ex had narc tendencies too, not easy

isin13955 profile image
isin13955 in reply to

One problem is that I am a complete empath so you can imagine what that combination can produce!

in reply toisin13955

Yes it sounds tricky, sometimes having one problem (like illness) uncovers other problems in a relationship, but ultimately you are the captain of your own ship and if something is wrong, you may need outside help to fix it

isin13955 profile image
isin13955 in reply to

The only outside help I have sought, apart from reading a ton of literature, is meds from the doc although I haven’t told them the real reason I need them. Much as I have thoughts of ending the marriage I just can’t do it!

in reply toisin13955

You are going through a bad time here.

Has this problem being going on for a long time or is the problem a recent thing you need to attend with

BOB

isin13955 profile image
isin13955 in reply to

Nah this problem has been going on for years but it's only recently that I've begun to understand where it's coming from. Unfortunately I have yet to discover how to deal with it other than putting distance between us.

in reply toisin13955

Can we help you talking out the problem

There are many here you can discuss on site or on Private Message.

Sometimes if you feel this is not rational and it is worrying you try and discuss the problem with your Doctor possibly together. It sounds like this condition is dynamic and could cause problems with family and relatives around you. Does your In-Laws know the cause are also very worried what they see

BOB

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