I think I am depressed but want to be... - Mental Health Sup...

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I think I am depressed but want to be in denial. Unmotivated, anxious lonely feeling girl


From the outside it looks like I have the perfect life and everything anyone could dream of. The best family, great job, good friends and a boyfriend.

In reality for the last year atleast I have been so unhappy in my job and chose the wrong career path outside of university. I have finally got an internal move into something I believe i will enjoy which did lift my spirits.

However in other aspects of my life i dont ever seem to feel fulfilled.

It maybe that i am constantly comparing myself to people on social media and how happy they are

But deep down i feel like i know the route cause. My boyfriend whohas been my rock for the last 10 years still has not proposed and we also live in separate cities. The relationship has become tough. I feel like i am constantly nagging him for more and i feel guilty about doing it. But as an anxious person , not getting any answers does not help ghe situation. We also struggled with trust issues recently where i saw some messages from other girls on his phone. I dont know why i checked but i did and didn’t like what i saw. I was so shocked by it and truly felt heartbroken. We have talked it through and cant imagine my life without him. Im trying to make it work. Both our jobs are demanding but is this causing my depression oris it something else.

I constantly feel alone and lonely. Even when surrounded by people. Im at a loss for what to do. I just want to feel happy.

4 Replies

Hello Minmouse,

Welcome to our supportive community. Well done for taking a brave step out of your comfort zone to reach out for help. You are obviously having a difficult time right now, but hopefully, you will find folks here are only too willing to come alongside you and share from their personal journeys and experiences. I'm not an expert, but relationships are tricky things, especially when you're both trying to maintain for so long and from some distance. Have you had a heart-to-heart with your boyfriend about what you both really want from your relationship? I know you are struggling with anxiety, but maybe it's better to be realistic and honest with each other. Marriage or civil partnership or any serious long-term relationship needs to be built on trust, and if that is lacking or in doubt then it wouldn't it be better to sort that out now? If you both decide to separate, although it will be tough, that would free you both up to pursue building other relationships?

Do check out our Pinned Post section for free mental health guides, international crisis support helplines.

Keep in touch! Ok folks what can you suggest to help this new member?

Best wishes,

MAS Nurse

You need to get out and live. There is the walking club on the internet for London. There are different clubs for your interests.

Just because you say you have a wonderful life does not mean you should not suffer Anxiety. With you job I can understand the problem of not feeling you are fulfilling your heartfelt future you crave.

When I look at your Relationship ten years mooching around with the same partner must be not just a labour of love it may be a labouring habit, and given that I can understand your feeling of been deceived. With you working in two different areas that could be a problem. You feel lonely and He will also feel the same, although He may be taking this to an unwelcome complication. So yes I understand this relationship is problematic and has run its course. A Decade is a long time for a habit to fester.

People on Social Media, in my eyes are quite unhappy, their relationships seem complex. I have been taking interest of American News and those in Hollywood seem to have some very questionable activities that many normal people would be shocked to know about and would prefer to bite their arm off than to take part in some activities been advertised on the news.

Personally be thankful you have hopefully a life that is complex, your hobbies are natural.

You have sorted out your new job and now feel you are moving on. GREAT.

Your Relationship with your Boyfriend is complex and I wonder if your attitude together is more like a friendship with Romantic interludes, where you boyfriend leaves and runs a more inclusive life away from you, In your situation and if it was me I would feel like an old pair of slippers than needs a change. You have invested ten years of your life, I do not know how old you are, I would imagine at this time you would need a relationship to bud out to form some form of trusting, normality. Two new pairs of slippers under the same bed

You have a great deal to consider, I wish you both the life you wish to have


Hello Mini, 10 yrs? You can't save something that doesn't exists. You deserve more out of life than you are getting and it's never going to happen with this guy. Do not blame yourself for his lack of integrity .

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