From the outside it looks like I have the perfect life and everything anyone could dream of. The best family, great job, good friends and a boyfriend.
In reality for the last year atleast I have been so unhappy in my job and chose the wrong career path outside of university. I have finally got an internal move into something I believe i will enjoy which did lift my spirits.
However in other aspects of my life i dont ever seem to feel fulfilled.
It maybe that i am constantly comparing myself to people on social media and how happy they are
But deep down i feel like i know the route cause. My boyfriend whohas been my rock for the last 10 years still has not proposed and we also live in separate cities. The relationship has become tough. I feel like i am constantly nagging him for more and i feel guilty about doing it. But as an anxious person , not getting any answers does not help ghe situation. We also struggled with trust issues recently where i saw some messages from other girls on his phone. I dont know why i checked but i did and didn’t like what i saw. I was so shocked by it and truly felt heartbroken. We have talked it through and cant imagine my life without him. Im trying to make it work. Both our jobs are demanding but is this causing my depression oris it something else.
I constantly feel alone and lonely. Even when surrounded by people. Im at a loss for what to do. I just want to feel happy.