I open my mouth but nothing comes out

[Missy_D]

I suffer from depression & anxiety and have been diagnosed with Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder (EUPD - also called Borderline Personality disorder). Who else finds that saying "I'm okay" or "I'm just tired" is the stock answer to when anyone asks "Are you feeling okay?". In my head I have an explanation, a proper answer, even a request for help but I just can't say it. There have been times when talking with someone I have started to open up but then find that they have "black cat syndrome" so I allow the negative filters to kick in and go quiet. I also have the problem whereby my OH also has health issues but he will literally moan about everything so I feel either a) my problem is insignificant or b) why bother because he is feeling so sorry for himself it is wrong of me to ask for a bit of compassion or support.

The biggest problem is, though, I am like this with my GP. I see her every month and sitting waiting in the waiting room I know what I want to say but in the end say nothing.

[MAS_Nurse]

Hello Missy_D

Thank you for your message. I am sorry that you are having such a difficult time getting heard. This must be so frustrating for you, especially when it is your OH or doctor that you are trying to communicate with.

Have you considered writing things down when you have an appointment, and perhaps taking someone you trust in with you to an appointment?

Our members are very supportive, so may have more information or experience that can help.

The topics and pinned posts might have more information about EUPD.

You may find more inofrmation at MIND, mind.org

Do keep in touch and let us know how things go for you.

[Missy_D in reply to MAS_Nurse]

Thanks for replying. In the end I will end up writing a letter, I have done this in the past but I would rather be able to talk before it gets to that point as I am usually quite unnwell by that time.

[Hidden in reply to Missy_D]

Missy

It is very important that you are able converse with your GP and Specialists As explained above writing down your problems over an extended period will help.

When you see your GP give Him a copy of your list and another explaining your inner feelings. Do the same thing with Your Mental Health Specialists

It is also important you look for diversions where you can take your mind of your fears.

I have a Congenital Short Term Memory Disorder and I have problems remembering what I have done the day before, also even on the same day. So on here sometimes I need to refer back to past visits to these sites

During your day as it proceeds, write down what you have been doing with nudges, like visited Healthunlocked. Took the dog for a walk etc.

Always try and place appointments or housework meeting people on a callinder so in the morning you can anticipate what you need to do each day.

Pay your bills etc by Standing Order, this will help you keep your memory clear. When you go shopping make your list and go shopping on the same day and time. People do things as a habit, use that as aguide

BOB