What do you do when you have reached your breaking point in life and are beyond fedup with everything in your life and everyone? Hopeless.

[Val1030]

A lifetime of tragedy has got me to this point. I feel like it's the point of no return. I have very short time frames in between tragic events. I have lost the will to live and the will to try anymore. I am 35 and have been in psychotherapy since age 8. I am also being treated for ptsd due to some of the events I was forced to witness. I am also being treated for bipolar disorder, panic attacks and depression. I have been forced to deal with almost every tragedy under the sun from death of multiple young siblings to me getting diagnosed with multiple very serious health issues, a car accident that almost killed me, victim of domestic violence, loss of multiple jobs and have been homeless. I have been in abusive relationships and at one time tried to kill myself. I also witnessed my 10 year old brother get shot in the head when i was 14. Have been dirt broke most of my life and nothing to call my own. I see a therapist twice a week and am on several meds for my depression and anxiety. It doesn't matter anymore. I got back in touch with my faith and praying and that didnt help either. I am doing everything I am supposed to do to help myself. I was even really positive about life for years and managed to change my mindframe and be greatful for being alive. It doesn't matter because terrible things continue to happen. I no longer have the energy to fight the fight. I am hurting and broken down to nothing. I have become completly dead inside there is nothing left.

[MAS_Nurse]

Hello Val,

Welcome to our supportive community. Well done for taking a brave step out of your comfort zone to reach out for help. Hopefully you will find folks here are only too willing to come alongside you and share from their personal journeys and experiences.

To have survived such tragedy and trauma in your life you must have developed resilience and inner strength, when many would have not. I'm not sure I have the words to comfort you or to begin to understand the magnitude of what you have been through, but we are here for each other to offer a shoulder to cry on, a listening ear, and maybe some pearls of wisdom too.

Do check out our Pinned Post section for free mental health guides, international crisis support helplinesshawmindfoundation.org/supp...

If you live in the UK keep these crisis support helplines handy:

The Samaritans Tel: 116 123 [24 hours line]

NHS: 999 [Emergencies]

NHS 111 [Non-Emergencies]

MIND UK charity: Helpline Tel: [phone] [e-mail] Text: 86463 mind.org.uk/information-sup...

SANEline Tel: [phone] [4.30pm – 10.30pm daily] sane.org.uk/

Keep in touch! Ok folks what can you suggest to help this new member?

Best wishes,

MAS Nurse

[Krazie]

Val, I am feeling so sad for you, and the trials of your life.

Feeling loved and cared about can get us through most anything. I don't know your current situation, but it seems you may not be feeling loved. It may be that you have shut down emotionally and are unable to accept love. Don't know. But I do know that talking about our feelings can bring an unexpected sense of relief. It can open the path, even just a tiny bit, to finding the will to take the next step.

Your life is precious, and important, even if you don't feel that right now.

Life is a journey that has it's ups and downs. While everything may feel hopeless today, there will come a day when all is good again. Don't give up on life. There will be a better day.

Keep coming back. Keep talking to us. We will do all we can to help you find the value of your life.

Best of wishes. Here are love and hugs for you!!

[Val1030 in reply to Krazie]

Thank you for taking the time to respond to me. I am fortunate to have a select few people in my life that love and care for me right now. I think just like you said i have completly shut down and maybe without realizing not letting anyone in. However I am in so much pain my heart hurts i cant even explain the pain I'm feeling. Im just dead inside. I am most likely going to be checked into a mental hospital today because I want to kill myself. I just have so much anger and sadness and its killing me.

[Krazie in reply to Val1030]

Val, suicide is never the answer. I think you realize that, because you are going to the hospital. Depression is an insidious disease that creeps up on us and convinces us of all sorts of horrible things. like life is worthless and not worth the effort. It saps our will and destroys our capacity to let others in.

i am so glad to hear that you are going to hospital. Sometimes we need to seek out professional help to find our way out of depression. There are better days ahead. Believe it. Hugs and support on it's way to you.....

[Val1030 in reply to Krazie]

Thank you for your support

[Krazie in reply to Val1030]

Val, if you are still coming to this site, I hope things are going better for you.