Depressed to long and now worse

[diamond47m]

Today I feel like such a failure. I went to work being a housekeeper in a hotel, something I did when I was a little younger, well after only 2 days I get told that the head lady is afraid with my back and neck that's she's afraid that I won't be able to keep up, that she was told that I didn't like the job and therefore thing's just won't work out. I can not find another job, I hate housekeeping (she was right on that) I want to do retail but no one seems interested in me. I have no true friends, I lost the best friend I ever had over something stupid, I apologized even though I did nothing wrong, I only said she don't text or call anymore and she is willing to throw 40 years of friendship away. I feel like I am a big nothing and honestly wish I could go join my husband in heaven. The only 2 people that really care if I live or die is my son and daughter. I'm so over this life without my husband it just means nothing anymore. He was a truck driver so I never really had to work. He's been gone almost 7 years and it still feels like yesterday. The man in CA that owns my house wants me to show more income and honestly that's the only reason I want to work. I'm scared we may lose this house and then we'll have no where to go. I'm just very depressed over this life and have nowhere to turn, I keep praying but seems to do no good. I just want thing's to change.

[MAS_Nurse]

Hello diamond47m

Thank you for your message. I am so sorry that you are having such a hard time. Keep thinking of your son and daughter you really have been trying hard to cope with so many difficult times . Can you tell us more about things perhaps?

Our members are very supportive, so may have more help and advice and experience for you.

Have you talked with your doctor or a support worker if you have one about how things are for you? You may also want to talk with a friend or family member about your situation.

The topics and pinned posts might hold more information to help.

Do keep in touch

and best wishes

[Hyperone]

diamond47

I too had major losses in 2013, my Dad & Uncle to Brain Cancer, than grandpa...2014 my sister was diagnosed with Brain Cancer (she is still fighting) I too have not been able to nail down a job in since 2008. Has being a Caregiver ever crossed your mind? Its the one job I had where I was able to forget me and concentrate on someone who truly needs you... amazing feeling to help others real moral booster. Good Luck