I've been suffering with depression for years now but I've gotten to the point where I don't reach out anymore because I feel like I've talked about everything too much. I wake up with heartache every morning. I have a few ideas of where it stems from. Missing my family in Virginia. (I'm in San Diego, California.) Feeling like I'm settling here. Feeling like I'll never reach my full potential. Losing faith in humanity and the restoration of the planet. I also have extreme jealousy towards others. (Guys and girls.) So bad that I just don't want to go out sometimes. I am constantly comparing myself to others. Constantly asking my wife if she thinks someone else is pretty or cute. And if she does, then I always end up wanting to be more like them. I'm never satisfied with myself. I grew up with a mentally abusive, narcissistic father so that might be a huge part of why I am the way I am. I know it's mostly my fault and it's up to me to fix what's going on within me. I just need some help or advice or even just a friend who understands. I have no friends here and I've become extremely lonely.