I have been suffering from mental health problems for 30 years

[Ossie100]

Find it difficult to keep my head above water. I have very low esteem. Never been in a relationship with a woman .in its am constantly thinking about ending my life. I have always wanted to live a life. I have a permanent job that I have been in for 30 years I need help in all parts of my life. Or please advice. I'am a generous very polite and down to earth person. . Can anyone please give me some advice

[Hidden]

Hello & Welcome

Have you ever spoken to your Doctor about how you feel or are you getting any support of any kind

If you are then I would suggest you let them know it is not working and if you have never spoken to your Doctor then now is the time you should

30 years is a long time to have been suffering but by taking this first step to join a Community and share how you are feeling shows that deep down you want to change and well done taking this step

Members as they come on will give you better advise but just wanted to let you know you are not alone

Take Care x

[Hidden]

Hi Ossie...tell me about your low self esteem and why you want to end your life since you want to live it?.

[Ossie100 in reply to Hidden]

Tried everything to try and help myself but as i'am getting older really feel as if I have had enough .I live on my own . So that doesn't help. Feel really alone

[denvajade]

I understand, I have lived like this for the magority of my life too. In the past two years I have been on 60mg of Cymbalta everyday and oh what a difference. I suggest you talk to your doctor about it. 😀

[Stilltrying_]

Ah bless you Ossie, you sound and look like such a nice and sensitive guy. I personally find the work situation very difficult so you must have a lot of positive qualities to be able to sustain work in that way over a 30 year period. Being generous, polite and down to earth are all excellent qualities and qualities that would be appreciated by any nice woman. Maybe you need to branch out a bit and ask a lady for a coffee one of the days just as a friend?

Are there any support groups or social groups you go to where you could maybe experiment with asking a lady for a coffee outside of the group one of the days? It doesn't have to be a romance. Just a nice pleasant friendship/companionship appreciated by both parties. Also by the way,

Keep going, you are doing well,

Gemma XX

[Ossie100 in reply to Stilltrying_]

Thanks for that Gemma I an quite shy so it will take a lot of courage from me. Thanks for your reply

[Stilltrying_]

Nothing ventured, nothing gained Take courage and give it a go but be prepared to try again if it doesn't work out first time or second time; you just need to persevere and gradually you will get confident.

[Depresseddorset]

Hi Ossie100

Just read your post.

I am sorry to hear that you feel so low but there is a way out but it needs for you to take the first step.

I am a 66year old man who has lived with depression most of my life. I was an u wanted child and grew up as a disappointment to my parents. I was constantly compared with my older brother who was the golden child. Add to the mix that I was emotionally abused by a teacher that resulted in me being placed in remedial education - yet another disappointment to my parents.

My parents and I parted at the earliest opportunity and I had to make my way in life alone.

I struggled with friendship and relationships but in an effort to spite my parents I worked very hard to carve a career and succeeded initially in the IT world starting as a computer operator and working my way up to consultant. All those years ago qualifications weren't necessary making it easier for me.

In my late 40's, fed up with IT and with repeated depressive episodes I started studying to qualify as an accountant and found it comparitavly easy (not had for a loser at school).

In 2012 I collapsed at work and taken to hospital, my heart rate was very slow and kept stopping. I had a pacemaker fitted and told I would be good as new, no chance. I struggled to work full time but my background has taught me that I couldn't give up so depression set in and has been with me ever since. I am stable but on meds.

I have friends and neighbors who Hellman's support me.

You say you have no success in attracting women, it's possible that you try too hard. Relationships don't have to be sexual and can be with anyone male or female. In my early 20's I had a very close (non sexual) relationship with a man a year older than me. We were inseparable for a few years before our friendship ran it's course but he helped ground me during a very difficult and turbulent time in my life.

Please don't give up, look for support groups, take up a hobby that will get you to mix with others. Life can be good sometimes and those times do make it worth living.