My damaging mood swings

[Woodlover]

I've had mood swings , depression, whatever it's called , since my teenage years and my long suffering and patient wife of 37 years is so unhappy . I've got a lot in my life to be thankful for ,but still allow myself to sink into these awful moods . I find the posts on this site helpful.

[MAS_Nurse]

Hello Woodlover and welcome to this caring and supportive community. I am sure it is very hard for both you and your wife when you are feeling low and experience your mood swings. I wonder if there is any trigger that you might be aware of that sets off your depression or mood swings? Perhaps keeping a trigger diary may be helpful for you to see if there are any particular things that upset you. Also you may like to make an appointment to see your GP. and explain how low you have felt for such a long time. Counselling can help to give you that space and time just to talk things through with someone you do not know, and in this way it remains very confidential. It can be easier to talk about really personal and intimate things to someone outside the family. But it is also important for you to keep talking to your wife, so that together you can find the support that you need. There may be some support groups near you that may help, and perhaps you could even google this. I wonder too if there are hobbies either at home or outside that you might like to take up. Sometimes even if it is just for a short while that you do an activity, it can take your mind off your low feeling and help make you feel good. Also access the crisis support helplines to the right side of your screen for further support and help. You will find that there is a lot of support from our community members so do let us know how you are feeling, but I think too it is important for you to seek professional help too. with very best wishes and good luck to you.......

[Woodlover in reply to MAS_Nurse]

Thank you for your reply and best wishes

[sweetiepye]

Hello Woodlover, Welcome to our site. I think if you do nothing else except follow MAS-Nurse's advice you will notice a change for the better.Taking charge of your condition will empower you and it will also give your wife some hope as well. Knowing when your depression will probably occur will let you plan for it and maybe plan for at home activities if you're up to it. Listening to music, audio books.puzzles you could do with your wife I don't know enough about your illness to make better suggestions. Sometimes I just sit. I'm aware of what's going on but don't have the energy or desire to participate. It affects us all differently. I'm glad you've found us. Pam

[Woodlover in reply to sweetiepye]

Thank you Pam for taking the time to send me your very thoughtful reply - as you say I must try and recognise the triggers and find strategies to cope - something I've never been good at .

[AlwaysTrying]

Hi

I'm new to this site..... I'm a 'wife' and have come on here for some support and more of an insight into what my partner has been suffering with for the last 10 years (bi-polar that presented upon leaving the armed forces).

He was trying to cope on his own when I met him 2 years ago and recently things have come to a head and he's finally gone to the GP for help today.

All I can say is that there are times when I am very unhappy in our relationship...... As your wife may also be.... But these times are mostly when I don't understand what's going on in my partner's head or why he is acting the way he does towards me. I get frustrated because I want to help but he doesn't let me in so that I can. Perhaps because he can't always find a way to tell me what's going on.

So speaking from the same side of things as your wife.... I know circumstances are likely to be very different for you two.... I would say just trust that she loves you and shes on your side. Try your best to keep her in the loop with your feelings whether you speak to her or write it down and trust that she's the one person in your life who will never judge you. After 37 years she may be fed up.... But she is also most likely used to you, has stuck with you through good and bad and is the most capable of helping you when you need someone.

I'm sorry if I'm being a bit naieve with what I say.... But I am new to this and your post really touched me xx

[Woodlover in reply to AlwaysTrying]

Thank you AlwaysTrying for your reply which is far from naive. A big part of my problem is my lack of communication especially with my wife - I give her the silent treatment and I know on occasions she completely loses it with me because she realises it's the only way to break the ice and get us talking again.As you say she is a rock and she will always be there for me although even after 37 years I know I shouldn't take her for granted.I hope you and your partner can make good progress together .

[marigold22]

Have you ever had blood tests to rule out a physical illness? I used to get terrible mood swings and then was diagnosed with hypothyroid. My father-in-law used to also get bad mood swings and was then diagnosed with diabetes. I'm also on the Thyroid section of HU and have learnt that with hypothyroidism particularly, GPs are not able to interpret and understand thyroid blood tests. We are urged by the forum to ask for copies of blood test results which everyone is legally entitled to. If you would like more info, please do send me a PM

[Woodlover in reply to marigold22]

Thank you Marigold22 for your suggestion.