Boyfriend says I'm lazy and it's making me feel worse!!!

[Angel533]

I've got type 1 bipolar and I'm having a low like never before,I'm so depressed and exhausted all the time and now my boyfriend is calling me lazy,he doesn't understand the battle I'm fighting inside just to stop myself from topping myself,but in his eyes I'm just being lazy because I've spent days laying on the couch 😢

[sweetiepye]

Hello Angel, Are you looking to change boyfriends or to change your boyfriend. Finding a different one would probably be easier than changing the present one. People don't change easily unless they are highly motivated. Calling you lazy especially when you are ill is cruel .Not understanding your illness is not an excuse. I'm sure you have explained what you are going through You need kindness, understanding and support. Try to be with people who can give you that. You deserve it. Meanwhile remember we are here for you. Pam

[Angel533 in reply to sweetiepye]

Thankyou pam that means a lot to me

[Tiggerakafidgity]

Hi there.

I've adult ADHD and some times I get called lazy.

My wife kinda understands but the other week she got me an excellent saying of words painted on a piece of wood to hang on the wall.

It says

IM JUST ON PAUSE IM NOT LAZY.

I would to send a pic of it but can't find a way .

Just quote that and he won't know what's hit him.

That's the first step to helping your self.sounds like you need positive words to pull you out of it.i left a job this year as the owner constantly made remarks of how slow I was.it wasn't the fact I was slow.he had just started working there as the owner and didn't have a clue of what he was talking about.he felt threatened as I knew everything about the job and he didn't and that made me a threat to him.funny thing is he said he was a mentor and had dealt with ppl who had ADHD.my arse.he just had a controlling attitude that made him feel better he would even shout at me out of ear shot as try pull me down.got to much one day so just put my tools down got my car loaded it up and said good bye.i put down all my mental health issues and they were totally ignored.infact I was told in the office that there are ppl working for them who have real mental health issues.infact I can only assume he is a failed coach and mentor which is why he ended upturning where I worked.to be honest I have plenty of issues like other ppl.it can take great strength to admit to your issues.i guess he thought they were a week was..infact it's amazing how much STRONGER it can make you.i would ask ur guy why does he say these words and put then all in his court.he probably won't be able to back it up at all and be lost for words.

Is he angry at all to you.just please don't sink in to ur chair deeply and take that kind of mental abuse and demoralising atttitude.

Sounds like he is an xxxx

[snicolle54]

My wife suffers from bipolar now the higher and your boyfriend needs to under stand more about I've had 16 years of her illness I know how to handle it and what to say so he will have to understand and learn what it's all about and get you lot of praise on what you do it's not easy especially if you are on medication like my wife and it nicks her 6 sometimes

[Angel533 in reply to snicolle54]

Thankyou but I don't think he'll ever get it, we've been together for 20 years and he's started to go out most days from about 6 to 11 leaving me to settle the kids and then sit on my own for the night,I don't think he's helping me situation.

[snicolle54 in reply to Angel533]

Sounds like he needs support so he can understand have you told your nurse the situation to see if they support you more , I went through a lot this year with my wife illness 3 big TVs damaged kitchen windows smashed. 3 times and computer desk pulled over and book case nearly over has well are you on medication ? My wife is on a fair bit of medication

[Angel533 in reply to snicolle54]

I'm seeing a care coordinator next week and they want to put me on antipsychotics,it's took me 3 years just to get them to listen to me

[snicolle54]

I know what it's like I had too battle this time to get my wife sorted she has even been Hospital has well this time it's been a lot more harder than before I saved he twice cause she was going to do something stupid plus even thumped me a couple of times but it was her way for cry for help but so far it been fine touch wood so I'm holding. She be ok again for a long time again fingers crossed

[Angel533 in reply to snicolle54]

Good luck and I hope she does stay well for you

[snicolle54 in reply to Angel533]

Take each day has it comes and don't over do it and I praise her has well tell her how good looking she is and she say I don't feel it but I encourage her

[Angel533 in reply to snicolle54]

That's lovely,I'm sure it helps her a lot,and thankfully I am taking each day as it comes

[NFDK in reply to snicolle54]

You are what a man should be, snicolle54 ...

[NFDK]

NOT fair, Angel533 ! An ex-husband of mine used to scream at me that I was lazy - he was abusive and that is why he is an ex.....

[NFDK]

He certainly shouldn't be "having a go" at the poor lad