I wanna die

[CharlotteWalton]

I want to die. I self harm. I don't know if I have depression. I don't want to seek medical help.

[TheInjuredBiker]

Hello Charlotte. Has anything recently happened to you to make you feel like this?

[CharlotteWalton in reply to TheInjuredBiker]

No

[Hidden]

Well there is only the self help route left then. This includes things like mindfulness, mediation, yoga, herbal meds etc.

Why don't you want to seek medical help? I presume you want to feel better?

[NemoAbella]

Hello. My mom told me It's a sin to do self harm, who knows if you commit suicide, you will suffer more than what you feel now, at the other side, so don't you ever do that Charlotte. Sigh...

You know, 3 days ago I feel the same way, I wanna die, I wanna drive my car in front of a truck, I am imagining those things while driving, bcoz although I feel like I really really wanna die, I can't bcoz that dying thing is not for me to control; next day again, I did not let my depression eat me, went outside breathe air then feel the sun, then I drive myself to work, at work I feel like crying and constant attack...but I need to hold-on bcoz I cannot visit my doctor until 5 days bcoz she's out of town. I felt okay when I visited my doctor when she gave me new dos. of meds, so far now I am having not so okay days but so far okay. Sigh...I hope you'll be okay soon enough, I know how you feel, you are not alone. We can fight together. Just hold-on. Talk to some people in here, there are lots of people whom you can talk in here, they know a lot, in fact talking to them made me relax during my rough days, knowing they are also suffering or suffered from the same things. I am not alone, and I can recover like what they are now. Pls take care and hold-on.

[2670 in reply to NemoAbella]

Hey there. Thanks for kindness . It was nice to see that as u are hurting you are also willing to try to spread hope to someone else's situation. Ur a brave heart. Full of hope. Jesus loves that. You are good. There is hope for your pain. I have suffered w thoughts of giving up. Not wanting to wake up. Because it feels like there is no better day ahead. Just more of the same. But. I know that when we put our faith in Jesus. And read what He says about how to live. It gives me new hope for each new day. To be selfless. To help others. There are so many in need and so many ways to help. I recommend taking some of the focus off yourself and giving it to those who are suffering . Taking that off yourself will change your whole desire. And I see that you have it in you. You're thoughtful and worry about others. Use that to get better yourself. Finding purpose can be the answer to ur own pain. Read what Jesus says about it. It'll transform your desires. Which will transform your life. I love you. And all those reading this. I'm tired. At work. It's 2:00am. If you need to chat I'm here. Much much love. Keep shining your light into someone else's darkness. 🙏🏼❤️🎶😊

[NemoAbella in reply to 2670]

Thank you mam. I can tell, bcoz I know how it feels. I am really hurt for myself and for everyone who got disorder too; but I know this is not the end...I need to strive hard for the new me and accept the new gift, it is not easy bcoz I just got almost 2 months since I was diagnosed, but I will fight and be happy for others and for myself. God bless you mam. 💙💙💙

[2670 in reply to NemoAbella]

Ur very sweet. You will get well very fast. It won't take you as long as it took me. I see the end of this for you real close by . Mind me asking how old you are . You seem so young. Maybe it's just my own age creeping up on me. Lol. Keep smiling. Even wen its hard. It does something to you. You don't realize it. Till you see everyone smiling back. The joy . That you bring to others. Will make all the difference. Be a lighthouse. Shine bright.

[Celtic27]

Hi charlotte you may not want here this but please seek help from a doctor if just to get a diagnosis and possible help it needn't be medication maybe Councilling would help ! Please seek help and take care of your self david

[sweetiepye]

Hi Charlotte, You've been on here recently and have had some responses, have you tried any thing recommended ? You have to realize this only works if you do your part too. We can only suggest, you have to do the work and some of it may be a challenge. Try to do one thing this week, like call for a Doctors appt. They won't judge you. You are unique only to yourself , there are many in this situation. Please try. Pam

[Blueshirt]

Hi Charlotte, well done on letting us know. To feel so is a sign you are a sensitive, insightful person. And, sharing these feelings are so difficult. You are very strong to have been able to do so. There are ways of helping yourself, and a doctor who understands can recommend lots of things that will help you help yourself. Please try one. We can get through these times and there is lots you have yet to do in life, with lots of others you can help. Good luck

[Clazzy78]

Hello Charlotte,

I have replied to you previously 🙂

Why do you want to die?

How do you know if you have depression or not if you're not willing to seek medical help?

Do you have family around you?

I'm not going to tell you what to do, that is not my place. But I do think you must see a doctor/GP urgently. You obviously are very low emotionally. Your GP may help more than you think.

You can also call 111 or attend A&E if things get too out of control.

Someone posted on here they had a tip of using ice when they felt like self harming. Just thought I'd add that for you.

Please seek help, best wishes 💗

[Rocinante]

Hello Charlotte, You don't want medical help, but you do want to connect with someone. Is that why you are here? People would be happy to connect with you and to listen, in fact that is why some of us are here. If you reject medical help because you are telling yourself 'being reliant on drugs is not a step forward', well that is a decision about your future that you have made. What of counselling rather than medical intervention? Have you tried to build a relationship with a counsellor?

[Hidden]

Charlotte - are these intrusive painful thoughts you are having or do you feel there's a plan in place to b commit suicide?

[Deniese67]

No no...do not do that....life is so short as it is! Find something career wise that you really want to do and get a Grant! That's what I did, when your in school you feel good about yourself.....😊

[Celtic27]

Hi charlotte i was wondering how you were feeling today any better ! David

[2670]

dear perfect Heavenly Father. I ask for your touch of healing right now. Your daughter is suffering. She feels no hope. Let her feel your hand of grace. Look at her in this painful place and have mercy. The enemy is lying in her ear. Telling her there is nothing to live for. But so many of us know that you sent your only son to show us a better way. To light our path in this hard life. You set our path straight . All we need to do is ask. And then receive. Your love leads us to hope. Changes our lives. And makes it possible for us to change the lives of others. Giving us new mercy each morning. Help your daughter to search you out. Help her to have the strength to read your word. To see your love. And hold it w her day by day as she starts HR transformation into the amazing person she will become. Hold up your mirror in front of her. So she sees herself as you do. Break off her life the chains of lies she carries . Make her light. Carry her. I pray this in Jesus precious name. Amen. Ps. The battle is not against flesh and blood. It is against powers of darkness. Pray. Believe. And ask God to speak to you. He will rush in to meet you. So happy to relate with you. Invite your perfect father to speak with you. Trust me. You will hear Him. Only goodness comes from Him. So any other thoughts are not from Him. Ok. I love you. I'm here. I love you. I have felt this pain you feel. Perhaps for different reasons as yours. Abusive father. Sexually molested all of my 4 daughters. Then killed himself. Plus. Many more things that the enemy has tried to use to knock me over so I won't get up. But Jesus tells me the truth. And I can wake up with purpose. So can you. He is madly in love with you. Talk to Him. And I'm here too

[2670]

Hi sweetie. Feeling any better today?