Watching on helpless

Hi, I am new here, as I have been looking on line for help.

My husband has always suffered slight anxiety and depression just little things get on top him, i just thought he was a bit of a worrier... however over the last 4 or 5 years, it has increased. Over the last 12 months, he has changed, his personality is almost unrecognisable. He gets so low, to the point he can hardly take a breath. He doesnt want to go anywhere, and when we do, it feels its pointless as he can't see any reason. Like he hasn't anything at all to look forward to.

He turned 40 a couple of years back, we had a lovely holiday to Vegas planned, and even there, he suffered depression... I knew then that it was starting to take over him. Its been the same on ever holiday, not holiday blues, just total anxiety and depression, and feels there is nothing to look forward to anymore.

He hasn't seen a doctor, and I have tired many many times to make him go and get help, but he says that he wouldn't know what to say, and that the doctor won't be able to help.... I am so worried. I just don't know if this has got a grip of him, and he will never return.

I am worried that he may do something really stupid.

Can someone offer me advice, I am at my wits end.

2 Replies

  • Hello Violet, welcome.

    You do not mention if your Husband is still working or if He is unemployed. Sometimes when men reach forty they can get a little depressed and concerned as they see their useful vital years disappear into the past. They can become dissatisfied with their lot and look into their future years as a downward trend. I am older than Him and retired, when I reached sixty it did not hit me, it was at sixty five when I got the White envelope it seemed to get to me a bit, we made changes. When we reach around forty the same may apply.

    He needs to see your GP, they can treat the problem and actually on many occasions cure it.

    You need to find out what His concerns are and help Him make any changes that may brighten His mood. Be firm and kind.

    Your Husband is no less a man for His depression and it is important for you and family that He gets this illness controlled and be able to move on. Your GP will act on His condition and will care what happens to Him, they will not pass over His condition

    I was fortunate we made big changes over a two year period, then further larger moves as I entered into my sixties. They thought I was suffering Dementia and I went through a five week dirge of tests, it came about I suffer a short term memory condition. We made further changes even though I had been disabled for over thirty years.

    I do not say changes need to be dramatic, small changes may help Him move on. Sometimes it may be thinking is this it ? This does need to be addressed together preferably that is why you need to know what is wrong ?.


  • Hi Bob, thanks for this, it is a great help. My husband is still at work, and his job is a little stressful, and I don't think that helps the situation at all... I have took the step and made him an appointment with our GP. I hope this is the first step towards a brighter future.

    Take care Bob x

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