Dark place

So I am in that place again ! My cousin's husband has been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer only a few weeks maybe months left he isn't very old and has been helping people with long term cancer for years! Life is so cruel I cannot consul my cousin he is her soul mate like my husband is to me!

On a lighter note rescued 8 dinner plate size terrapins whose owner died a little while ago.

When will this sadness end?

When will my head and heart stop aching?

When did life become so hard?

9 Replies

  • Oh how sad about your cousins husband. Life really is not fair!

    Cool on the terrapins, they're funny little things but can grow big 😁

    I don't mean to be negative but I don't think my heart and head will ever stop aching...ever 😔

    Best wishes 💗

  • Thank you x hope your heart and head feel better x

  • Hi I am so sorry for all that's happening and it very hard to deal with isn't it. After having lost my uncle, aunt, father and mother in that order I am beginning to understand why so many old people won't go to funerals any more. I can't now.

    After my sisters young dog (whom I loved and took out walking every day) died unexpectedly a couple of weeks ago one of my sisters and I were talking about who out of us 4 sisters would go first. I said I hoped I would even though that's selfish coz I can't cope with any more loss.

    My heart goes out to all of you.

  • my goodness how on earth do you hold it together? My Dad had half his neck cut away because of cancer and my mum hysterectomy and one boob because of cancer but thankfully both are still alive!

    My heart goes out to you x x x Keep safe and well lilaclil

  • Thank you but I'm ok. The deaths were all spread out over a number of years but its something you have to accept when you get older. The older generation die off and you become the next in line eventually. No one lives forever.

    Take care sweetie. xxx

  • hi lilaclil,

    my heart goes out to you,i know what your going thro,albeit its life,we all know its coming but sometimes sooner than others,all the pills and potions in the world will never take away the loss in our lives,i fell off a ladder 17 years ago and fell 4 floors on to concrete ,i nearly died so i was told thank goodness for air ambulance,i survived that and slowly rebuilt my body and life albeit with a less than perfect body,after learning to walk again and it took nearly a year i was told that i prob would not walk again but determination kicked in ,the consultant said a lesser not so strong person wou;d not have survived,having got myself to a point of some sort of life,5 years later i had kidney cancer and thought my time was up even thou i was only 45 years young,i was in a marriage that broke apart between falling and the cancer ,she culdnt cope with the lack of action in the bedroom or lack of cash coming in,i met a girl that was half my age and she was like a little angel,she had her own probs but we got thro them and while i had cancer and operation she never left my side,thatsvwhen the real probs started even thou i fought that off as well,i firmly believe that the cancer was one trauma to much for my body and soul to take,anyway we got on the best we could because i now had polymyalgia set in also terrible memory loss ,i lost six stone in a year which was ok because i was 17 stone at the time lol,we got married and i thought i was in heaven,then the subject of kids came up just as i thought,we then found out she could not conceive so went for ivf,that is agony to see what a women has to go throu in order to have a child that some people take for granted,at the clinic there were people there that 0obviously had money and were really comfortably welloff,but cant change nature ,it was heart breaking to hear the stories of some of them,anyway she had the treatment and egg shared to keep some of the cost down,because i had children from previous we couldnt go down the nhs route,well it worked first time and we had a fabulous baby boy,i was now 54 years young,thet took 24 eggs from my wife and we found out later that we had the only live birth from all those eggs shared ,unbelievable,you would have thought that would be enough to satisfy anyone but oh no,i got worse and was on morphine and opaites for pain and it was decided that my wife would go to work and i stayed home with the little man,even thou it was tough and agony for me, i did it cause i adored both of em,my wife very quickly got promotion at her office and after two promo=tions got to the pinnacle of her career,then all the trouble started with her going for after work drinks and a few lies and rumours flying about it did my health no good what so ever ,but i had it in my head that she would never do anything like that to hurt me,would she?? how wrong i was ,after 13 years with her and everything she ever wanted was the bombshell that she had met someone else ,i was to old and to ill for her,she took our house and everything init,i was told to leave my family and my house cause she had changed,i was left with nothing ,no money,no home,no life,that was a year ago,the bloke soon moved in ,and she intro our son to his stepdad ,THATS LOSS,i now have got to the stage of not wanting to go on anymore,the pain physically and mentally is to much to bear now ,whats left nothing,sorry its long winded its the first time i have ever told anybody this story,the moral is ,how much more has life got throw at you before you break,any answers anyone pls and thanx for reading this

  • oh my dear god all I can say is YOU ARE BLOODY AMAZING, MIRACLE still here well done for hanging in there. Thank you for sharing I should count myself lucky.

    Keep hanging in there xxxx

  • thinking of you doneanddusted you are in my prayers sweet. and all others in pain and heartache, god bless you all. love grace xoxoxo 🙏

  • Thank you Grace111 x x x lots of love

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