Dear all,
As we head towards a new year, I thought I would share a new approach I've adopted, to reduce anxiety within family relationships.
I was getting very stressed whenever my brother was around. Then there was a misunderstanding with my niece. Both relationships used to be good, but had changed significantly. I wanted to fix both, but I was really unsure how to. Through conversation I was asked: "do you need to fix things?"
Further discussion gave me a lot to think about. And I came to a conclusion. I knew that we could be civil to one another in company. I did not wish to cause any problems involving the whole family. So, I decided, I would treat my brother and niece the way I knew I should and in the way my parents would expect me to. If this was not reciprocated that was fine.
So, I have kept my counsel on this and I'm no longer stressed when either of them are around. I don't expect anything from them & nothing they say or do surprises or upsets me.
I am relaxed, before, during and after any gathering and I'm happy knowing that I am treating them the way I should.
Slowly they are both less confrontational and have been more communicative recently. I can't describe the relief this approach has given me.
I hope this info might help someone take a new approach to a problem in the new year.
Best wishes, Catherine.