Im new here Grieving over my partner and others


My name is Liz and i just have joined as i need advice/help friendly help or anything really I am waiting to have my 1st assessment with a depression group but that wont be till the new year my doctor has just prescribed me with antidepressants which i really didn't want to take but i need something now its all getting to much for me It all started n December 9th 2015 my mum and stepdad moved to Spain to prolong my mums life as she had COPD along with other health problems and on that day we got a call saying my step dad had died so sudden heart attack he was fit and healthy as far as we all knew he was my mums carer cut a long story short we flew to spain that night and got mum back home to England where she soon went down hill and in Feb she sadly passed away as well then in April a very close friend died as well but the 1 im really finding it hard is my partner for 25yrs passed away in June Since then I have not been myself crying all the time went back to work as i wanted to try and be "normal" but i find i am getting worse some one said it gets worse before it gets better please guys i need to know will i be "normal" again 1 day I normally am the strong one but now im so unsure of anything any more and now xmas is upon us my sadness is ripping me apart

Many thanks in advance

4 Replies

  • Hi Champagne

    Welcome to our friendly Forum.

    I'm so very sorry to read your very sad news, my heart goes out to you. Any bereavement takes time to come to terms with Liz but you have suffered multiple bereavements and I am not surprised you feel depressed. Personally, I would ask your Doctor. to refer you for Bereavement Counselling or you can refer yourself. Just check out the resources under Bereavement in a Google search, they are excellent.

    I'm sure our members will offer you much support, so do check back.

    Warm wishes


  • That is a lot of loss to process in a very short amount of time! My sympathy to you. Is there anyone there with you? Neighbors or friends you are close to? It's absolutely expected that you would feel grief and sadness at Christmas over the loss of a loved one. You have lost many. While you wait for professional and/or group help, keep reaching out here. We have lots of ears.

  • Your life will never be as it was. How could it be? You will find a new normal and you will be happy again but the spaces left by those you lost will always be there. The people I love, dead or alive are still the people I love and are with me. Nothing can take that away and at some point instead of feeling sorrow when you think of them you will feel comfort. My brother died 3 yrs. ago and he is with me. I occasionally will speak of him in a conversation as in ' my brother made the best stuffing at Thanksgiving, I don't know which I miss most' this allows me to keep him as part of my life without making others uncomfortable. You have to work at it and find what works for you. You need to be good to yourself now, you've taken a huge blow. Seeing a Dr. would be a good idea. Stay in touch. Pam

  • Many thanks for your replies yes it is so hard and not concentrating in work now come down with flu like symptoms not good at all just hope I get to keep my job well who knows but again thank you and sweetie pye I have seen a doctor she told me about time to talk that is who I see Jan 3rd hopefully speak to doctor tomorrow as per normal no appointment available at the moment xx

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