Feel like I am slipping back

[MattBuckland]

Hi Guys

Sorry for a negative post. So tired, so much effort put in, but today I can't seem to access the techniques I have learnt. Put a lot of weight on, no energy, hard to focus on anything. Wondering if the effort has all been for nothing and I am destined to be miserable and alone for the rest of my life and that every time I get close to feeling on the up, either my mind or body will let me down and smash the little bit of hope into tiny pieces. How many times can you pick up the pieces, 21 years of doing it has not got me anywhere and I can only see it getting harder.

Matt

[nedd]

See those little bits of hope in a heap on the floor, look carefully and you will see the odd sparkle when then sun shines. Some how we all seem to stick them back together again. It just can't be rushed. We are a work in progress. Keep the faith. Shut down for a. It. Cut yourself some slack and find something nurturing, i listen to music.

Did you ever take your dog to the hospice for a visit. We had a regular visit from a black lab called Caesar. Who delighted the kids at the local hospice by knocking on thier doors. He brought a lot of comfort to us parents and children. He was a blessing that has been woven into our memories.

[MattBuckland in reply to nedd]

Hi Nedd

Thanks so much for this, I have taken the dog for a walk and am now completely shattered, but will give myself the time.

Went to the doctor this morning and he took some bloods, so there may be an answer to the tiredness there.

I am pleased that you reminded me of my previous post, looking at it I still think it is achievable, I just need to put a bit of effort in when I can and be patient.

I will file the PAT dog forms before Christmas.

Thanks again for taking the time.

Matt

[nedd]

healthunlocked.com/actionon...

I missed the point of this when I first read it. (Can t concentrate!).

But I was very taken with the idea.

[Photogeek]

HI Matt sorry your having a bad day, unfortunately this happens in Depression so don't let it worry you too much. Do one nice kind thing for yourself and maybe do one chore that needs doing.

This day will pass and even people who have never suffered from Depression get these days.

Sending you warm wishes and know that you will get through.

Hannah

[cathfach in reply to Photogeek]

Sorry you are having such a bad day ,I am as well ,never felt so down , was going to go out with my husband for lunch ,but could not go felt too rotten ,and I didn't get up early either .what I have done today is booked an appointment with a hypnotist to see if he can help

[MattBuckland in reply to cathfach]

Hi Cathfach

Thanks for the reply. The fact that you booked the hypnotist is an achievement. It may or may not be useful but you are putting in the effort to fix you, so give yourself a pat on the back.

I hope you enjoyed your rearranged lunch with your husband.

Wishing you a good tomorrow.

Cheers, Matt

[cathfach in reply to MattBuckland]

Thank you Matt

[MattBuckland in reply to Photogeek]

Hi Hannah

Thanks for this, you are right, there will be the bad days.

Walked the dog and went in later to work (nice thing for me, my park over looks Loch Lomond)

Put all my washing away and put the clothes horses down (chore)

Undertook a talk tonight for work to a big community group, was nervous as I don't like speaking in front of others. First time I have done something like that since the breakdown. People said it was good, so I shall ignore the voices in my head that said it wasn't and say that today was a success.

Thanks for your kind words, they helped me to push through this morning.

Matt

[Photogeek in reply to MattBuckland]

HI Matt just checking in to see how you are today? I hope you are feeling a bit better. Look after yourself at this hard time by eating well and self care. I find that helps me.

Feel free to message me for help any time, as I check in here quite a bit.

Hannah

[MattBuckland in reply to Photogeek]

Hi Hannah

Much better today thank you. I wonder if the thought of doing the presentation was dragging me down. I felt more settled at work and am looking forward to a few social activities. Just need to remind my self that I am still recovering and that I will always have down days even when I am better.

Thanks for the offer of messenging you, that is very kind. I hope that you are well.

Matt

[DOGS-GIZMO-FRODO in reply to MattBuckland]

Nice that you have a faithful dog companion to walk. I have 2 dogs and it definitely lifts your mood to get out in the fresh air and take them for a walk.

With anxiety and depression you can often feel indoors that the walls are closing in around you and you feel really rotten.

When you step out the door with the dog you feel your mood lifts and your steps are lighter.

Now that we are heading into spring and the brighter evenings we should all start to hopefully see our anxiety and depression ease off a bit.

Hope you are doing ok now. You live in a beautiful part of Scotland by the sound of your post. Lucky you!

[Satsuma]

Am feeling the same MattBuckland

[MattBuckland in reply to Satsuma]

Hi Satsuma, have an e-hug from me

Matt

[gardengnome]

Hello Matt feeling similar.

Realising how important it is to use the good days more.

I had promised myself to make little flashcards for self-care and chores etc, but when I'm feeling well and happy there doesn't seem a point, as how to keep well seems so obvious..

Perhaps now that I am feeling rubbish I might turn my hand to it with more urgency

[MattBuckland in reply to gardengnome]

Hi Gnome

Thanks for reaching out.

Yes the mind needs maintenance, but tricks you into thinking it doesn't. like the flash card idea.

Hope you have a better tomorrrow.

Laters, Matt

[nedd in reply to MattBuckland]

Now that's a tip I am going to remember.

"The mind needs maintenance ".

Love it.

Recently I read a article that suggested what we think about last thing at night effect mood the next day, which makes sense. Suggesting that before going to sleep review the day only picking out the positive. No matter how small the achievement.

May we all have a long list of happies to drift of to tonight,

Have a good one one and all.

I am on a hospital trip. May the traffic be with me.

[Rottenapple]

Don't give up, I've been through some dark times in the past 8 years. But things change, it takes effort to see that when you're feeling down but life really can gey better.

[MattBuckland in reply to Rottenapple]

Thanks apple

You are so right.

Cheers for getting in touch

Matt

[0101]

Hi Matt

Sorry to be late on parade...but I hope you're doing ok. Reading through what responses are written here they seem so wise. I hope you've had a good few days.

I hope if you ever feel wobbly you can remember how you took a brave step by posting and there are lots on here willing to help. I am definitely going to try to remember to add looking on here in my 'list of happies' for the next day (thanks nedd)

Sending good virtual vibes

0101

[MattBuckland]

Hi 0101

A lot better thanks, also managed to go out and see a show last night.

To say that was massive for me is a massive understatement.

Thanks for the vibes, Matt