How often is normal to see your partner - Mental Health Sup...

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How often is normal to see your partner

Andrea75 profile image
8 Replies

Hi! Im new here! I wanted to ask for some advice! For the last two weeks i have thkng that maybe i have to break with my bf. We see each other twice a week and he is always running because he has to do other things I know that he has work and i dont ask him to see me during the week but i feel that i at least deserve to see him in the weekends, i have already told him that i hate that he is always running but he keeps doing it and he always has an excuse! I am overreacting?

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Andrea75 profile image
Andrea75
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8 Replies
LoriMS61 profile image
LoriMS61

Hi Andrea,

Welcome to the community. I think I need more information to give you meaningful advice.

How old are you both? How long have you been together? Do you mean literally running, as in exercising, or just has an active social life? Is he very regimented in only allowing you to see him twice a week? Does he make you happy?

Do you suffer from depression/anxiety? If so, how is this impacting your depression/anxiety?

Lori

Andrea75 profile image
Andrea75 in reply toLoriMS61

hi Lori! Thank you!

He is 24 and i am 20

We have been together for 5 months and I think thats the time you want to see the other person all the time

No,is not that he is running (exercise) neither he has a very active social life is just that he always has things to do like work, family time etc

We spend all saturday together and fridays we see each other like two hours max

I have I great time when I am with him but I think that I am not even a priority for him he always finds excuses and tells that if it was for him he would stay longer

I have anxiety and this is not helping at all

LoriMS61 profile image
LoriMS61 in reply toAndrea75

Hmmm, this is a tough one. Each relationship is different, but I can tell you what I think based on what you've told me.

I think you already know the answer though maybe you wanted some back up. I think that if you were as important to him as he is to you he would make time for you. It doesn't sound like you are his priority.

I understand needing to spend some time apart from one another, but it sounds more like you are weekend entertainment.

That being said, it depends on his job. If he is a teacher, for example, he would be working insane hours. If his family need help, and he looks after them then that is also understandable.

Have you told him that you are considering ending the relationship. You know what you want in a relationship and it doesn't sound like you are getting it.

Lori

Andrea75 profile image
Andrea75 in reply toLoriMS61

Thank you for taking the time and ready this! It was very helpful

sweetiepye profile image
sweetiepye

Hi Andrea,He sounds married, is that possible ? Even if he is not, he has not made you a priority in his life..I'm sorry to say that I know it's hurtful. Is this what you want to settle for? It's likely that you will become less and less important to him as time goes by. I know, and you should too, that you deserve more than this. It's not what people tell you, it's what they do that counts. I think your gut is telling you what to do, listen to it.

Whatever you decide to do, there will be no judgement here, only advice and support. Pam

Hi Andrea

I can see that you've been given some good advice.

I can see that when you first start dating that you need more space, but I do think that by now he should be giving you more priority.

You have not been demanding on his time and if you both want a relationship it really does mean more than a couple of hours spent with each other at one time. It does seem like he wants his cake and to eat it.

As a mum myself, if my daughters were to ask me this question I would be saying that I thought something fishy was going on. You don't want to be a door mat, do you.

Again this is just my opinion.

I know it's going to be a hard decision, but maybe have a talk with him and find out what he wants from the relationship and where he thinks it's going?

If it's not what you want and he won't compromise, I think it will be time to move on.

You might miss Mr right otherwise.

Good luck and best wishes

JDJ23To28AND1-2 profile image
JDJ23To28AND1-2

I've had a Beautiful relationship with A Boyfriend, For 10 Years, but With Ups And Downs, We Typically Only See Each Other, Every 3 Months, We're Busy, And We Have To Both Trust That The Other One, hasn't gone out with someone else, ect. But lately, I've Heard A Change, In My Boyfriend's Voice, For The Better, Sounding Like The Man I Want To Marry, Inspiring Me To Step Up And Be A Beautiful Woman Worthy Of This Beautiful Man... And We've Been Able To Talk Openly, And Spend Quality Time Together, The Few Moments We Do Get Together, Doing Things We Both Get Pleasure Out Of, Drawing, Chatting, Going For Some Walks... And We Haven't had sex yet, as We're In A Christian Relationship, And

JDJ23To28AND1-2 profile image
JDJ23To28AND1-2 in reply toJDJ23To28AND1-2

WE'RE BOTH NOT MARRIED To Each Other. Sorry, My phone keeps playing up...

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