A kick in the guts....

[Rachms11]

Hi all some of you might know about my problems with my boyfriend who broke up with me 2 weeks ago out of the blue. he has problems he hasnt dealt with. but im struggling each day to not talk to him. i miss him like crazy. i have anxiety again. shaking all the time, feel tense. what do i do?? he wont even talk to me

[linlow]

Hi, sorry for butting in without knowing your history but been there, done that and all the time you try to get him to talk the more he will withdraw. The best thing you can do is make him believe that you are coping perfectly well without him. Hard but true. It is times like these that I start talking to the kettle or the microwave or anything I know will not answer me back or disagree with anything I have to say!!

Do you have any lavender oil or rescue remedy? A warm bath? Ginger tea? A hot water bottle? In a similar position I used to put music on, find the one track that resonated with the way I felt, put that on repeat and turn the volume up (with headphones on at this time of night ) and find something to do with my hands to keep my mind occupied - like drawing or writing or cleaning the cupboards out - anything to keep me busy until I could, maybe, fall asleep.

If you have the ingredients you could make yourself a cup of golden milk jodyvassallo.com/warm-ayurv... the recipe suggests adding a spoonful of ghee but coconut oil would work as well so should butter or a dash of black pepper.

Take care, thinking of you

[Rachms11 in reply to linlow]

Thank you xdo u think he'll come back running after awhile if I don't contact him? I'm not even sure I want to ever see him again. He built me up so much and made me happy then bam all over

[linlow in reply to Rachms11]

There is no guarantee that he will come back if ignored but it is probably close to 100% that he won't if you go running to him. Men like to do the running, they like to think that the decision is all theirs.

It hurts and it is hard but you have to try and keep your mind occupied. You are grieving at the moment so you need give yourself time to re-evaluate. As you say - does he really deserve you?

Consider this, if he has done it once he is just as likely to do it again when the fancy takes him. How will you feel second time around, or third? Right now you need to be thinking of Number 1, take care of yourself and think about your own future.

There is a 'Mr Right' but 'Mr Right' does not go off and leave you in this state.

[Rachms11 in reply to linlow]

Thank you xx I hope it doesn't take me long to get past all this and the sudden cut off. It hurts ALOT

[linlow in reply to Rachms11]

I am not going to say that it will be over tomorrow because it won't but it will gradually get easier. Before long you'll be thinking to yourself 'I haven't thought about him for a whole 'hour/day/week'.' Then the healing will start to speed up.

Keep yourself and your mind busy and it will be easier. At first find things to do that wear your body out. Then find things to do that keep your brain occupied. Take up keep fit, join a club, go to night school, paint your hallway, find a dog to take for a walk, anything to keep busy. Meet up with friends and make new ones - do not go to places that he frequents, that would be a disaster and just what he is waiting for so that he can hurt you more.

The pain does stop.

Get the ingredients for the recipe I gave you and that will help. You can vary it by adding cocoa or cinnamon too.

[Hidden in reply to Rachms11]

silv98

Sorry to hear you're in distress, but know what you going throw I'm in same boat and hate every min of it.

I'm trying to love myself again but its so hard cause iv lost my own identity don't know to regain it again after 6 year relationship with a man who literary changed over night trying to fight his own struggles and has result iv paid the price with own health and lost friends along the way

[Rachms11 in reply to Hidden]

It is horrible. I wish people thought about others feelings in the process of all this. guess one good thing for me was it was only 8 months.

[Hidden]

People that I've known for years that I called my friends shut the door on me and what with my partner treating me like scum o feel so low don't know sometimes how much more I can take.

Feeling so worthless and no good for anyone.