It's the pmdd and my circumstances. It's too much to go in to at the moment but I see why ppl end there life when they feel this dark. In no way am I gonna do that so don't worry!!! But I'm in a very dark place right now.😢. It's hard to even focus on my goals right now but I gotta push myself.
Pieces
Shanny
Hi Shanny,
I was where you are this time last year. Keep going and you will get there. Do you have someone you can talk to who will listen and not judge?
Have you seen your doctor as they be able to help?
Take one day at a time and one goal at a time. I was setting goals in stages so that I was doing things in small steps. I still am as it is a help when things don't quite go that well and I had to take a step back and rest before going forward.
I also went and did a couple of free courses through my National Health Centre and spoke to a psychologist. I learned about keeping thought dairies and how to control my thoughts. Also about mindfulness and relaxation.
You will get there, just take it one step at a time and find the tools that work for you.
Keep a diary of the goals you've set and tick them off as you get them done. Looking back at it will help you see that you are progressing.
Take care and Stay strong you will get there. Keep on going.
Hazel
Hi Hazel, sorry for the late response. It's been a very bad couple of days. I do have my therapy appt this afternoon. She is the only one I can talk to about everything; also being on here helps too.
Hi Shanny,
Hope your appointment went well and that you are feeling a little better. We all have bad days, but keep going you can do this. One step at a time and you will get there. You may take a few steps back at times, but you will get there.
This forum is good and I've picked up a few pointers from here that have helped me.
Take care.
Hello 20voices!! Good to hear from you, thanks!! Yes today is a muuuuch better day!! It's that darn pmdd and I have a severe case so I am extremely irritable during that time. My dr did increase the dosage on my Wellbutrin to 300 mg, so time will tell from it works. Bc I feel like I will never be cured until after menopause. I'm on the pill and it still effects me hormonally. I've tried EVERYTHING!! It's just one of those things I just gave to live with. At my therapy session I cried so much! I cried before I got there, I cried in the car, I cried in her office, then I cried again when I got back into my car. I had enough tears to make a man made lake lol. But she told me crying was healing. And it actually was. So today I feel as if nothing happened. I'm not 100% ok but no where near those weeks. It's a cycle that goes up and down. I will just continue researching until I can cure it.
☮Shanny
Sorry to hear you are going through this. I ended up going through a premature menopause which has taken forever to get through. Hopefully I am there now, cause it affected me so badly never felt so out of control with my temper and mood swings. 
Anyway, crying is a good way for the body to release it's emotions.
I've cried for hours over silly things when I first got ill with depression. I once spent a day crying over everything, me being ill, husband leaving me, me feeling angry at him leaving, and especially at me being ill and not being able to cope. Felt so much better after I let it all out. I now have an inflatable punch tower which I use when I feel my emotions getting out of control. I pummel that for as long as it takes to make me feel better, good was of relieving frustrations and good exercise as well. 
You stay strong and I hope the medication change works.
Hi 20voices, how r u doin? Me, at this moment I'm trying to push through besides having a break up and just feeling really mad that I've haven't really been living life. I swear I'm getting worse as far as my moods as I'm getting older. I started goin to a church I used to go to, hope I meet new friends and go out to places bc I've been missing out.
☮Shanny
Hi Shanny, Good to hear from you. I've had a few days where I just seemed to have slept all the time, but the good news is my pills are still working and mood wise I feel good and I've not had a lot of negative thoughts or been thinking about the what-ifs. I'm not sleeping at the moment, but I think that was the meeting with my lawyer today about my divorce. I'm just keeping my fingers crossed that it will all be sorted out by the middle of next month as that will be a year since he moved out.
The break up won't be helping your mood so that could be why you are feeling mad. I bought an inflatable punch tower and it's good for when I feel mad. Good exercise as well and it wasn't expensive. Just need to remember to remove the ring I always wear before I use it.
Glad to hear you've gone back to church I am sure there will still be some people there that you know and you'll make friends, hardest part is the first time you introduce yourself to someone new and then it gets easier. I did that with my archery when I went back to that. Maybe trying a new hobby or volunteering for a local group if you have the time will help as well. I'm currently going through training with Barnardo's to be a volunteer with them.
I am using Essential oils at the moment which I find help me with my moods. Got 2 blends that I use alot at the moment called stress-away and Citrus-fresh. I always feel light hearted after using the citrus-fresh and it's surprising how far a small bottle goes when you are using it in a diffuser. I also like to do a foot massage as well if I'm needing to relax in the evenings. It's really easy to do yourself, but even better if you can afford to go and get a massage every now and then.
Keep going to your church it will make you feel good to be with other people, maybe some of the people at the church will be involved in other groups that do things that you'd like to try. I've made friends at the exercise class I go to each week. It's called Highland Hustle and it's exercise with Highland dancing type moves and it is really fun to do.
Take care and it was good to hear from you. If you want me to send a link to the a good website on how to do a foot massage then send me a private message and I'll look out the instructions for you.
Take care.
Hazel
At A Crossroads
i'm not sure if i need help for my bad habits
Going through a bad time at college 
