I don't know...

[InquisitorEdward]

Ok, I need help. I'm 16 and I think I have depression... but that's exactly what I don't know. I thought I'd tell you guys how I've been feeling recently and see what you think.

So, it started around 5 years ago, this feeling of emptiness, but it's gotten worse in the last 3 years. Like I said, I just feel empty like there's nothing inside and that what is still there is slowly being lost every second. I feel sad most of the time, only when I'm listening to music am I content, I pretend to be happy around people... I feel like I put on a kind of mask that convinces me for a short time that actually I am happy... then when I'm alone it dissipates along with the "happiness" and I'm left with myself and my thoughts. I'm always tired, from the moment I wake up to the moment I fall back to sleep. Also when in school I try to concentrate on work, I don't really talk to anyone, work and academics is he only thing I feel I'm good at and in this new school I feel like I cant do that well either. My future feels bleak; I lose interest in things easily and quickly; a while ago I self-harmed and tried to commit suicide (I couldn't because my family and friends kept popping into my head.); I cant talk to people about stuff like this, I sort of choke; I feel like a failure; I'm more scared of the prospect of living for another 20 years than dying tomorrow; I'm terrified that my "friends" are only that out of sympathy; I get agitated and angry at people very easily; in the last couple of weeks I have lost appetite; I'm gay and I hate it and I haven't had a boyfriend so I feel alone all the time (I know it seems shallow, but I just want someone to hug me, tell me I'm theirs and that they love me...). So yeah, that's it... any replies would be appreciated greatly. Thanks for reading all this way, that alone means a lot to me. x

[mstirling]

Hey! I'm 20 now and my "severe" depression started around your age (I'd had feelings of emptiness as a child and through my early teenage years) I really think you should talk to someone. Like you, I would "choke" when I tried to tell someone how I felt, however after a fight with a close friend I became extremely upset and my mum kind of guessed I was depressed because I was getting so upset over nothing. Immediately she phoned the doctor to book an appt to get me some help. I had a really rough time at 18 when I started to hear voices and have suicidal thoughts but my parents were right beside me to give me support and comfort, if it weren't for them I wouldn't be here today. I'm not sure how close you are with your family but this brought me closer to my parents because at the end of the day they're going to do anything for you because they love you (even if they do nag you sometimes!) so I really think you should talk to them to get this seen to and treated quickly because it is classic signs of depression. It's a tough process and if you need any information you can message me if you'd like! If you don't feel comfortable speaking to family perhaps a school nurse who can tell them for you? It may be easier to talk about it to someone like that.

Hope you get the help you need x

[InquisitorEdward in reply to mstirling]

Thank you so much, I think you're right but I have to build up some form of confidence somehow... also thank you for not just dismissing this as hormones or a stage of development aha, I hope that everything is starting to get better for you x

[mstirling in reply to InquisitorEdward]

No problem at all, I know how it feels and depression is a lot more than just "hormones"! Don't take anything like that from doctors either, if you know how you feel they can't tell you otherwise. I hope you find the confidence soon so you can get the treatment you deserve. I can tell you're an intelligent person so you wouldn't want to waste your intellect whilst suffering in silence- it's much better to get on top of things so you can try to carry on with some help x

[Hidden]

Hello

You are not unusual for a mid teen, although, there must be something that is causing your concern, like examinations, conflict at home or your love life. You say that you are tending to prefer your own sex and you have no boyfriend. Are you going out with girls or have no friends. At sixteen experimenting between both sexes is not strange and possibly this would sort out as you get older

Family problems in teens can also be a problem with all the changes taking place in our bodies at that time, so again these conflicts we all have eventually will clear as you get older.

If you feel in any way at risk you need to make an appointment with your GP, you will be able to visit Him on your own if that need needs to be met.

You have changed school so again this will feel strange and you will not be surrounded by those who have proceeded with you over the years So you will find that you have no friends who you can talk through your worries.

You say you are working very hard with your studies, I would suggest you try and arrange some form of social activity, this will take your mind off your books for a short period and you will be able to mix, if wanted to make new friends of both sexes.

Personally I would possibly recommend that you do not take medication as that will take the edge of your concentration and could therefore affect your studying. Although a GP will advise you on that as I am no Doctor.

If you need a further chat, you know where we are, they are a helpful lot here many are a bit older, although their support is sound

Good Luck

BOB

[mstirling in reply to Hidden]

Depression actually causes a lack of motivation and concentration and therefore medication should be an option as if it is able to lift his mood and therefore his overall mental health it will only do good for him and his studies. Mental health always comes before studies. You can always go back to school after you have received the correct treatment some people focus too much on school work and it causes more damage than good for their mental health! Also if he says he's gay he's gay, by the age of 16 I'm sure he knows himself in that sense, nothing to be ashamed of. I'm 20 (female) and haven't had a serious relationship and I would rather wait until I'm feeling better mentally to focus on myself rather than be in a relationship.

[Evelynarnold]

Hi, so sorry you feel so low, yes it sounds like depression and keeping it in only makes it worse. Your young and have a life ahead of you with plenty to offer. I wish you could find someone to talk to as letting it out helps to release those pent upfeelings swimming around your head. Please try and talk about it, your not a failure! Your a normal 16 year old and I know a few people your age going through the same turmoil,they have had help from the family and also a doctor. But it took time for them to open up about their feelings. Keep messaging on here as everyone understands and wants to support and help you. We all care and have and still have similar struggles. Celebrate being gay and don't hide it. Your a human being who deserves to love and be loved. My heart goes out to you.please message me anytime. Lots of love to you. Elaine xxxx

[InquisitorEdward in reply to Evelynarnold]

Thank you for everything you said, I really appreciate it. I'm trying to change my mind set but it's so difficult. Thank you so much!!! Xxxx

[Hedi]

Dear friend

dont be sad you are not alone..the way you said was exactly asif I want to say about my situation and myself..maybe even worse..so I can understand you completely...so I want to tell you that you will be better soon if you do something which I suggest you...let me say that it is a major depression..I am under treatment of this...and I feel so much better..not so happy ..but I can concentrate and think about my environment...I was so pessimistic and I felt life is not useful..so as you said I preferred dying rather than thinking that I will be alive like this for a long time..but now by some exercises that dr.s told me I feel better and I can see what I feel is just depend on the way of thinking and seeing..you know there are people in a situation without security..such as in Syria..they lost their family..but they are not as depressed as us...I thought that they are fool..but gradually fount out that just the difference is the way of thinking...they watch the world in a different way...

by the way..Im here to tell you that first of all we should accept this fact that: depression is a disease...very simple disease in treatment such as catching cold...and very damaged one such as cancer if you dont go for treatment because cancer will be finished by death and depression also encourage your mind to finish your life..so no difference...but the treatment of depression is so easy...you should accept that you suffered by the depression disease..you are perfect but the disease wants to make you weak..you should fight..I know you are tired to fight..but be sure it is because of the disease...not because of you...this is first practice..

for your information I am under treatment by dr and consultant ...so whatever they did on me I will send you...

try to write 10 things about your personality which you think that they are your best features..for example Im famous in kindness...

you should know that all depressed people have same problems..boring..feeling tired..thinking or committing in suicide.. feeling alone..feeling a deep sorrow...feeling that no one can understand them..pains on body..loss of memory..lack of concentration..like to be isolated..pessimistic..feeling poor..headache some times..feeling useless..saying that what should I this or that, for what??..lack of self confidence...lack of self esteem..and so many things... so these are the side effect of depression..not because these are reality...

So sorry if I wrote you long..and if my English is not perfect..

regards

[InquisitorEdward in reply to Hedi]

Thank you for your kind words I will try to do the personality thing thank you! And no need to be sorry and you English was fine thank you so much!