First Post


I have been feeling depressed for a long time. I have never done anything about it but I can feel it building up and so I joined this community to try and take a first step.

I am 22 years old and have been described as miserable for as long as I can remember. It has become something of a joke amongst my friends that I am "a grumpy old man" but I have started to realise that I don't want to be known as that at 22. I feel like I am burdening all of my friends, being a depressant and bringing them down and that they don't really want me around. Whether that is paranoia or not I don't really know but I question myself about it all the time.

I want to be happy. I want to be the kind of person whose company other people actually enjoy. I have just been accepting my character, resigning myself to be miserable. I have told myself that I am superior, more mature than those around me, more aware of the real state of the world. I think I am just trying to justify my feelings to myself. In all honesty, I am miserable but I don't want to be anymore.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

7 Replies

  • My love you have to find your THING in life, the thing that brings you joy, the thing you could dooo all day and tire of it. Learn to play an instrument, direct line to a girls heart, help animals, write a comic, write a book, dance, sing, draw, take something apart and put it back together.

    Dont moan at your friends, write it down, go to a councellor.

    The art really is in distraction when you are overwhelmed. Ive written this a thousand times on here but I really believe it, resolve right now when you have too much on your plate to achieve NOTHING! Solve NOTHING. Only move however slowly towards those things that make you smile. Try endless new things, learn to sail, learn to knit, make up a jigsaw, climb a mountain it doesnt matter, GET OUT of your head.

    Look at your problems and shelve them for the new few days, resolve to achieve nothing, just inverstigate, try out stuff, read books, go to the movies waste as much time as you possibly can and then watch things fall into place for you.

    Dont work on your friendships work on you, merely follow what interests you and as you become more interesting more people will want to engage with you.

    Dont do it because I said, do it because if you can find your thing, it may carry you through your life. I met a man once who said he was lonely, no friends, bad social skills and no hope in life he was a middle rate computer nerd. Then he discovered Kylie Mongue. He loves her music and works very hard so he can go to all her concerts, it takes him round the world and has brought him friends who also love her. Now Im not saying thats what you should do, I would prefer you invest more in yourself but who knows where your joy will come from. Go out and look...what do you have to lose nothing.

    YOU CAN do this, you are a power house of ideas inside you just arent letting them out.

    Fishing, learn to act, try out circus stuff, roller skate, Ice skate, learn to sew, learn to drive something different just for the sake of it. Learn the mechanics of something. You will never feel so alive as when you learn something new. Make your own film, learn how to resusitate someone, do Tai Chi, get on a dirt me out here.


    Keep going, keep going, keep going until someone stops you then turn round look them in the face say NO and keep going....push it as faaaaar as you like!

    All my deepest regard. You deserve a life of sunshine you have the one thing money cannot by ....time... go out and play for all you are worth an then come back and RUB my NOSE in it.

    You have a great deal to look forward too, sometimes in are darkest hour we are nearest the dawn XX

  • Your be ok ,don't over think things your young and are still finding yourself .its good that you've branched out and are chatting about it that's a start.I do think if you get depression it never really leaves its how you deal and learn to live with it . Find something that truly makes you happy .theres no rush or pressure its an on going thing,

  • Is there no one...It does sound like you are on your own.

    No real friends. ..where's the family when you need them.

    You need someone who will listen to you and feel safe that you can trust them.

    If I felt like you do...I think I would benefit by phoning a samarertan.

    They are genuine. .kind and supportive

    people. ..

    kind regards


  • Thank you all for the kind words and advice. I will try and find the thing that makes me really happy and I will try and find someone to talk to. Just posting this has made me better, more so than I thought it would. I'm glad I found this community.

  • Hey there Mr.OldEnoughToBeJaded,

    Welcome to the site! And let me tell you, you are not alone, not by a long shot. I would like to first start out by saying that to you, and any of our younger folks on here that the human brain isn't fully finished growing before age 25 on average! So that most of us young people have brain chemical issues during growth time, and feeling down and out during these years when you are supposed to be able to enjoy your youth is even tougher than most everyone else, who consider themselves "normal people" could imagine. But being young like you are, there is a good chance that you will be able to level out your chemicals and your life, and actually start to enjoy it when the growth time is over. Many young people don't even give themselves the chance to feel better and choose to end their lives! The depression may continue on as it does for some of us, but the fact that you are here to talk means that you are just sick of it and want it to change! That is what we are all here to do as well, so welcome.

    Now the average person seems to be able to be kicked in the head (and the heart) and still go on laughing and giggling. I am 36 as I type this and have yet to figure out how they do it. The only conclusion I have been able to come to is that they are not at all sensitive like we, the depressed folk are. I don't know if we, the depressed, are superior, but for darn sure we are far more sensitive. You can use this understanding to improve your life, and even though it feels impossible sometimes, you can do it if you take action for it.

    I am willing to bet that because you know what it feels like to be depressed, you care about what you do and don't want to make others feel as you do - this is a good thing! See, most people just don't care - and that is part of the problem - they dump on others and sadly, it makes them happy to do so! That is why this world is such a mess. But look in the mirror and pat yourself on the back for giving a hoot!

    Sometimes depression is caused by a natural brain chemical imbalance and sometimes it is the environment we are in that causes that brain chemical imbalance. For instance, I have hypothyroidism and have to take a pill everyday to live or else I will suffer a mean slow death. And that is part of my depression problem, the lack of a normal thyroid gland operating ruining my chemical balance.

    But being part of a abusive non-caring family really is what wrecked it for me. Had I gotten away sooner, I would have had a chance to be happier before my health went bad! But no, I stuck around out of guilt as I wanted to help, only to find later that I was just being used and not wanted at all! So, sometimes, it is the people around you, or the place you live in that brings you down. I want you to think about that, and run it around in your mind for awhile. Do you have anything that you would LOVE to do for the rest of your life? A change of place or lifestyle may be the answer for you. I am not encouraging you to run off right away, but again, it is something to seriously think about. I say this because I recently found a passion that I wish I could have been doing my entire life! And I am really upset and depressed because I feel I have wasted the past 36 years not working to go and be doing it!

    So think about it. And talk to us about it. There are people who care, and you will find an ear to listen. Did you know that communication is really the world's #1 problem? When people don't listen because they don't care, communication is disrupted, and problems go unsolved. So, thank you for reaching out! And don't ever quit communicating!

  • Hi there is lots of help out there in all different forms all you have to do is ask for it hope you find the Wright one that gets you to a happy place good luck

  • You will be happy in time and don't worry about your friends if they are true friends they will stick around if they are not well they ain't worth the worry. Go to your gp and get some help . Lots of different options for you to choose from

    . Keep your chin up .