... but I can't change without some help so may I ask you guys for your opinions about what I should do?
I've completely blown my chance to talk with someone I trust in RL (I just did something really stupid and I have too much pride to show that I'm sorry because if I did I'd start crying or something because I really am really really sorry and I can hardly bare it), so I'm going to write it all on here?
I am a terrible person (or at least, it seems that way from where I look at it). I have horrible personality traits (recklessness, false over-confidence, not-so-slight depression, loner tendencies) and I'm way WAY too impulsive (this leads to rule-breaking ad people getting mad).
I am a little antisocial when I'm not around my friends (because I'm too afraid to do any socialising) and I keep to myself, writing and drawing and reading. I break the rules A LOT. People think I do it for a bad-boy/girl rep, but honestly I don't mean to. It's like I CAN'T think before I act, I just act. Plus I really hate myself (like really, really really hate), but if I had a friend who was exactly like me personality-wise, I'd adore them. Sometimes I think about running away.
I want to be a better, happier person, but I don't really know how when I'm too scared to talk to people. I missed my chance; I've been here for over 6 months. I just want to change, so any ideas?
Someone I know says to me 'take little steps', so no big steps please xD I have small legs
Written by
JustDatWolf
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4 Replies
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Hello Wolf
What have you done, many of us feel we are not worth the candle and match, everyone hates us and we are a waste of space and the devil must be waiting form me.
In my eyes you are a depressive who cannot see the wood for the trees, you really need to see your GP and explain your worries as your doctor should always be your port of call.
If I had any idea I could advise, although the condition you are suffering from could be something that has haunted you over the years and you are now just very low and depressed.
With me low mood began first to come from a very hard, confused up bringing this was not helped in later life where I was expected to take on duties that a young teenager should have not been involved in.
You must have reasons for the way you feel as I feel you may be calling yourself and imagining you are so bad.
If you want I am here to give support, as are many kind supportive people here. We can give a listening ear if required
Yeah, this has happened over a while. First I was bullied and it kind of started from there (it was always there but it needed a catastrophe to come out). I really really really don't want to go and see a GP. I'm in a school-type environment and I don't want people talking about me again, but HealthUnlocked.com is really awesome for stuff like this.
I don't know if I'm imagining it or not... in my eyes I'm a disgusting excuse for a human and I really hate myself, and honsetly I don't know why people bother with me.
We can give you support for your problem, when I was young I was bullied at school right up to leaving, through college and work and I became ill with a chronic disability. I am now sixty five ish and I seem to have been able to make dramatic changes in my life over the last two years.
What ever you decide on a way forward, Sometimes your GP may need to be notified, although that will be your decision. You need to remember here we are not qualified in Mental Health, my experience was in a DayCentre and I am on some NHS Organisations not to do with treatment plans, OR TREATMENT
We have a really good placing of people here with wide ranging types of depression, you will find all good people who will give you support as mentioned before
Believe me when I say the problems you have are quite common and people here will relate
Seeing the gp can seem a huge step from where you are but really it is the beginning if the help you need ,getting support from forums is great but you need to get treatment too. The one good thing about NHS mental health services is they are very discreet
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I don't want to be here anymore
I think I am depressed? 
Has anyone changed their whole support system? 
I can't do this 
I can only see an end? 
