I need hope

[custardpie]

I never cry and feel I want to I wish it would come out any trigger will do it soon I feel. I don't write posts normally this is about my third post and I've been a member for God knows how long. I have wanted to post lots of times but don't like to bother people and assume I'm not important, I know it's because I'm programmed to please people, look after their feelings keep them happy, not be a nuisance. Not sure why it's come to a head right now why I'm being honest with myself, I think it's cause I'm exhausted being me, I'm really Fed up with being me I don't work being me, never have done, Fed up with trying to hard to please, being good. Fed up, drainedbut also it could be a good thing I'm being honest I don't work the way I am as it could force change for good. The thing I don't want right now is people assuming things about me, I have been treated condescendingly by people who think they know and understand me,I know if had ptsd for years been traumatised, ive never been able to connect with people form relationships because of the way I was treated growing up, and these bloody people who were meant to be my support to help understand me just have assumed Im thick, I'm so angry upset, I really need some kindness right now

[Hidden]

Hi I’m sorry to see no one else responded here. I just check HU a few times a day and saw your post. Please believe, there is always always hope. I was struggling with that this past few months too and sometimes you just have to believe it, because hope is real even when you can’t see it.

While trying not to make any assumptions about someone else can be tricky, I know it’s very annoying especially when your loved ones who should know better jump to false assumptions. But you have every right to post on here and get support from others if it helps and makes you feel better. Every little bit of help you have access to is important... and you are just as important as anyone else who posts on this forum! please accept the offer of a helping hand and a listening ear.

[custardpie in reply to Hidden]

Thanks Phil. It's only a connection I wanted with someone just wanted to be heard acknowledged last night, I was rambling, Its hard to get people to know my situation and understand from a text, Thankyou for responding and for your words, just a bit of thoughtfulness and kindness is all I wanted so Thankyou🧚🐴xx

[Hidden in reply to custardpie]

Any time. 👍🙂 It can be a relief just to write about what you’re going through and get some response to validate your feelings. So I hope you feel more comfortable with posting on here when you feel the need. Journaling is another way to express yourself that might be helpful, but sometimes you want feedback and support that you can’t get from a journal. 😉

[Hidden]

Hey! breathe its all gonna be ok you are so brave for reaching out sweetie. I get how you feel I know its hard being the strong one all the time. People assume thats ok. In that case you need to speak to them and tell them how you feel communication is key love. If thats not possible then just ignore them. Take some time for yourself: meditate, go for a walk, read a book, write anything you enjoy your brain need to relax your mind and soul need to rest. try to have a good night of sleep. Also you are never a burden or are gonna bother any of us we all are here to help. sending all my love and hugs 🥰🤗

[custardpie in reply to Hidden]

Thankyou for reaching out to me too Joseline last night and for your words,too, both have a lovely day 🧚🐎x

[Hidden in reply to custardpie]

always here my friend feel free to reach out whenever

[Hidden]

I am generally very cold with people and I never cry if upset or grieving, I am more often or not more liable the cry when listening to music or some types of weepy on television.

These feeling are all down to the way I have been treated by people family or relatives in the past. I am very very cold. When family or relatives died and arrangements had to be made it could be left too me too sort it out.

Being detached also helped me when looking after people who were ill or dying.

I know my reasons, can you relate to yours, it is a sad way to be, sometimes I wish to be different. Strange to say if and when I may loose a Pet, Then I do feel very sad and that is releases grief with its full implications.

What are your worries and concerns and what brought this on, Even at work I was very Cold and withdrawn.

BOB

[Beautifulrainbow]

Hello Custardpie, please reach out to us, that's what we are here for, to help one another. We all like to help other people, but it can get to the stage that people take advantage of our kindness, and we somehow get into situations that we find difficult to get out. I can't say I understand what you are going through because no one can if it's happening to you. but Ive been into situation, that's not my doings, and I've, vowed that I'm not going to get into again. You need to step back, do what makes you feel happy and look after yourself, because you are important, and special. Please keep posting if it clears your head, because we are all here to listen. Take care 😘🌈

[custardpie]

What brought this on was a simple thing I realised Iv been trying too hard to please people took the piss out of me for being too nice and people don't respect me for it. Sounds simple but pleased it happened as it's extreme the way I look after people's feelings, people have always taken advantage of me, yes u can be too kind definitely. If I was a nasty bitch people are mindful to treat u with respect! I only been that with people iv known.. It's a simple case of 'being trained' if you like when I was small to respect others look after their feelings(mum, brother, dad, the world) keep everyone happy, I'm not important not valued or respected my life wants and needs are not important. Living in an in living very tense environment, it doesn't sound dramatic but has resulted in no self esteem obviously, Its good to get it out. I need a laugh right now,it's important to me to have positivity be around positive people who don't have the need to feed off me (bring me down) makes huge difference it's wonderful being around people like that. Deep down I I know i deserve so much better a good life being treated with respect. Thankyou Bob and Beautifulrainbow for listening to my ramblings! Appreciate it, I've a great sense of humour and don't like depressing things I'm always looking to laugh slaughters so important a real tonic, Have a lovely day

😍🦄💖

[custardpie]

Laughter I mean not slaughter!

[Hidden in reply to custardpie]

😊😂 I agree, laughter is good for the soul!

[custardpie in reply to Hidden]

Definitely. I need good laughs so on the look out for silliness🐴💖

[Joeb17]

Hi my name is John I’m 61.all through my life I have never cried the only emotion I have showed is anger.had councling 4 years ago now I cry at a lot of things never cried at my dads passing but cried at my mum’s passing on Boxing Day due to covid and broke down at the fruraral.so I would say try councling.

[custardpie in reply to Joeb17]

Thankyou for your kindness, I am so very sorry about your mum Joe💐⚘

[Joeb17 in reply to custardpie]

Thanks

[Hidden]

I'm glad you wrote a post, it's good to get your feelings out there. The years where I've felt thick, stupid and goodness knows what else by not only people that know me but also my sister and my brother when he was alive, I dont miss him either the way in which he treated me.

Please do not hesitate to post, it's good to talk. Also, please try and think of positive things about yourself ie. what you've achieved in your life and focus on those positives and keep repeating them.

Thinking of you and you have plenty of worth.

Alicia xx

[custardpie in reply to Hidden]

Sorry I have only just responded to you I really appreciated your lovely message at the time.

Thankyou Alicia Xx if I had been around and was currently around people like you who understand and who say I'm worthy my life could be so different.

I had bad luck with family, mum, aunts, and nan all were not interested in my wellbeing or me ad my own person they were all narcisstic. I don't know anyone now if dropped people from my life who can't treat me respectfully. I am quite happy to connect with pleasant strangers when out on a walk for now, yes your right, I'll have a positive outlook on my life and I'll attract more worthy people in my life. Thankyou again Alicia, lovely connecting with you X🐰🐓🌼🏵

[Hidden in reply to custardpie]

Oh honestly don't worry and I'm glad you appreciated my message.

Aww bless you. It's not easy I know but please appreciate yourself, meditation is very good as it calms the mind.

I'm so so sorry you had such an awful time with family, I can never understand a parent not supporting their child. I have 2 adult daughters and 2 granddaughters and a lovely son in law. I'm proud of both my girls, we've had difficulties with our eldest as she's bipolar but we're working through it and she's heaps better than she was.

Please don't hesitate to message me if you need to talk.

Just remember this 'you are worth it'.

Take care xxx💜💜

[custardpie]

Thankyou Alicia🤗Xx

[Aslanlover]

Sending kindness your way.

[custardpie]

Thankyou X I love your username, love Aslan x