When Everything is not Enough

[Obriens3]

Why do I Still feel depressed when I have a wonderful man in my life ! job I love ! Beautiful house and no money worries. It's crazy !

[Hidden]

It isn't crazy . Depression/ anxiety are illnesses that need treating either by medication or councilling . It's wonderful you have a good partner and job but do seek help . Don't try and deal with It by yourself can be more harmful in the long run . Ian

[Obriens3 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you Ian, I have been on anti depressants for more than ten years and had all sorts of counselling including CBT. In counselling again at the moment as had a rough few months. It goes away and comes back. I am in full time work but finding the bouts of depression increasingly difficult and would just like to know why it happens

[Hidden in reply to Obriens3]

Hi didnt mean to sound condescending. I have also been suffering with depression and anxiety over last several years and like you back in counciling it is a horrible illness to try and live with but having like minded people as on this site makes you realise your not alone and always have some one to chat to even at the lowest times . The brain is a amazing part of the body but like anyother part of the body sometimes every now and again needs help . Ian

[Obriens3]

Thanks Ian, unfortunately mental illness runs in my family, my mum is Bi Polar, my brother has OCD and my GP thinks I may also be Bi Polar

[Obriens3]

Personally I hope I am not as could lose my driving lisence. Only passed my test 4 years ago after many attempts and don't want to give that up lol.

[Lottieonline in reply to Obriens3]

My daughter has bipolar and keeps her license its just during an 'Episode ' she's been told Not to drive.

Check out government site regarding driving and you can always write or call DVLC

Enjoy sunshine today.

I too suffer from recurring depression +OCD + Anxiety really horrible with other illnesses on top of those. I've lost my job and now need to use wheelchair and motor scooter most of the time I'm 52 yrs old.

Try and have a good day.

See if you can go out somewhere and get 5 people just to smile back at you. It makes you feel noticed and happy!

[Obriens3 in reply to Lottieonline]

Thanks Lottie that's reassuring to know. A smile always lifts my spirits

[Hidden]

Hi if you ever need a chat always here for you . Ian

[Obriens3]

Thanks Ian, same for you xx

[snow-13]

I know why, you need God in your life. I am not religious at all but can honestly say for everything I have something was missing. Now I have found it!! If u can listen to joyce Meyer broadcasts on her web page. Also clayton Jennings, amazing. There is so much more to life when u get to know God. Here if u need a friend

[Obriens3 in reply to snow-13]

thank you Snow for your reply. Both my Mother and my Brother are always telling me I need God in my life, and maybe they are right. I have listened to some of Joyce Meyer's broadcasts before and find them very motivational. She's a straight talker. I think will have a listen again.

[snow-13 in reply to Obriens3]

Yes def do have a listen again. God just so wants you be his daughter and have great joy in your life. Honestly my son has just been saved and he is on top of the world. Av never seen him with this joy in his heart. Man can't fill that void so your mum and Bro are right. Just tell him things have got you down a bit and your needing him to carry you through. Steven Furtick is great too, whatever whatever is a brill talk. Get the hillsong music going too, you have a lot your already grateful for so all thats missing is your relationship with Him x Here if u need a friend x

[snow-13 in reply to Obriens3]

ou can have the peace that you are looking for; there is a way to balance your life. No one can be perfect, or have a perfect life. But every one of us has the opportunity to experience perfect grace through a personal relationship with God through His Son, Jesus Christ. “For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord; plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

He looks at you as his daughter, wants only the best for you. To feel fulfilled. Thats the missing part in your jigsaw x

[Hidden in reply to snow-13]

"Plans to prosper you & not to harm you" sorry but the fact that "God" has allowed the world to get a bad as it has harms all of us. If "He" wants us to prosper & not face harm then isn't it about time "He" & his "Son" stepped in to make "life on Earth as it is in Heaven"?

I'm not a parent but I have spent enough time around kids to know that sometimes you have to let them do something that can harm them so that they can learn a valuable lesson (off course not to allow them any serious or lasting harm). Not sure we can (or at least I can't) say that God has acted like a good responsible parent. But maybe I don't have the capacity to see a bigger picture so perhaps I am unfair in my assessment. But as I see it whether there is an Almighty or not I don't have any faith in them or believe they are worthy of my worship. If that means that I don't reach "the promised land" or be "saved" then so be it. I just wish he would get off his arse & sort things out even if it means I don't have to live this bulls**t existence for much longer.

[snow-13 in reply to Hidden]

God gave radical freedom to us all, man destroys this world, not God. We are not puppets on a string, free choice. It's up to the individual to make the wise choices, man got greedy, selfish, abusive, liars, foul mouthed, corrupt..but they had another choice. In the same way I can choose to be the best parent possible but my children made some bad choices , that was never my plan for them. Their choice ended up as a bad thing for them. I could not have stopped it or taken it back from them but of course I love them so much I forgave them, as God does. This part of the journey is tiny compared to the next which is for eternity. I am sorry u feel that way and understand why you do. But honestly it's man who got the free will and abused it, in every way possible. In my heart it hurts so bad when my children make bad choices and it hurts God so see what man has done to his world. I am thankful that he is a loving and forgiving God that has honestly helped me to become a much better me and parent. If your life is bull****, did you know what comes out of our mouths are what we become. Man looks to blame God all the time and ur right what a mess the world is in but for me I get up and go see what I can do to make things better for anyone in need out there today and put the "i" in me last. But if I got up and pointed everything bad at God and complained about how I can't walk without aids to move about then I would have bull**** life too! But it's my choice to be greatful for what I can do, it's my choice to be helpful and kind to others.. should I be punished for my children's bad choices, no, so no reason why God should be slated for our bad choices , hope ur day has gone good Jimdon x

[Hidden in reply to snow-13]

Hi

I agree with you about it being mankind's fault that the world is in the condition it is in. I didn't & don't blame "God" for that but I do hold him accountable for allowing the suffering to continue as it was him that said he would end it. Obviously where he & I differ is as what point he should intervene in man's affairs. Off course this is all conjecture & is down to whether he exists or not, I'm not so sure he does though I hope he does. While it certainly can be said that I may not be able to see the bigger picture & may lack understanding in his reasons - in the same way a child may not fully understand why they can't do something when they are told no. The fact that I have the ability for rational thought & reasoning (because I was "made in his image") allows me to have a rudimentary understanding & to therefore question the whole existence of God & wonder about his accountability. While you shouldn't be punished for your children's actions/mistakes, is not how they are/act a reflection on you in at least some way? If they do something good or great don't parents feel proud, so if they do something terrible will a good parent not feel shame or perhaps even guilt? I wonder if God does.

I hope that there is a God & that he will sort out things & soon. I just want no part of whatever the next stage of the "journey" is, as you put it. Because I've struggled with depression off & on for the whole of my adult life it is so ingrained that I don't think it is possible to separate me from the depression or the depression from me. Therefore the possibility of spending eternity, even with a small degree, with the self hatred I have developed leaves me with dread. Now I know what you're going to say, that through God's love I'll come to accept myself or learn to beat it, I frankly am not willing to take the risk of that being wrong. It's bad enough having the prospect of living for 70-80 years within my mind but the thought of eternity? Pftt no thanks.

[snow-13 in reply to Hidden]

I appreciate your reply and so very much understand where ur coming from. I have sat twice in the past two weeks in hospital at my sisters bedside after having attempted to end her life again. Heartbroken is not the word, the doctors are saying to her u will die if this continues but sadly her reply is exactly. Like u she has suffered long term depression and I can see her in also, how do you separate her from the depression. Honestly I can't save her from it but I believe God can as he did me. I had an awful childhood n many more desperate situation in my life and felt empty, nothing, no body. I don't feel that today, I am unable to walk for past few years and felt useless but through believing in him I no longer feel this way. Am not much help to people but am still trying. I would like to carry on texting but honestly am so mentally exhausted tonight. I do pray for her and for strength to help her and today I managed that. I agree with u when will the suffering end and I often wish he would come back, I don't see the bigger picture but this works for me, I got to know him in a personal way. I no longer dread my day the way I used to. Thanks for ur honest reply. He exists and I know also in my head I can't work out things about him but in my heart I know I a whole new girl x nite

[Hidden in reply to snow-13]

Please don't bring religion / politics and race issues into this site we all have our beliefs and should not try to impose them onto others . Especially when people are down or needing help or just someone to talk to .ian

[Lottieonline in reply to Hidden]

I absolutely agree, religion doesn't help people with true depression.

I am at my lowest after over 25 years suffering from it together with extreme anxiety and OCD. Fibromyalgia and Ulcerative Colitis. I can cope with most of my ailments including operations for them but the depression is overwhelming me ATM. I cry every single night, tears take over me and it's like a switch has been clicked.

Twice I've tried to take my life, clearly it's not worked, thinking deeply it was a cry of help, I cannot deal with this much more.

I see my psychologist every few months on top dose of Tablets beginning with V 375mg and mood stabiliser Serotonin but feel worse than ever.

Any advice would be wonderfully appreciated.

[Obriens3 in reply to Lottieonline]

Lottie, all I can suggest it to talk, talk, talk and communicate with people on the site. Offload all those negative feelings. Sometimes it's easier to talk to strangers than those closest to us. Don't isolate yourself even if you can't get out. Sending you a big hug xx

Shirley

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Isn't saying not to discuss religion or politics imposing your will on others? Why should we not discuss them? Race I understand not discussing too much because there isn't much in the way of grey areas. But if someone finds religion helpful to them then why can we not discuss the pros & cons? Are we not all adults & able to allow other points of view that differ from our own? While I don't agree that religion is of help for me personally I'm more than happy to have discussions on it because someone could point something out that could change me view & anything that could theoretically help me in my daily struggle is worth at least a little consideration. Happy for those discussions in the same manner as discussing types of medicine that people use so long as no tries selling stuff on here.

HU - I would appreciate it if an administrator showed me some respect & explain to me why my last post from early this morning was deleted. If the post was too controversial, blunt or confrontational then how am I to learn what is too much on this site without being informed???

[Obriens3 in reply to Hidden]

Jim, I'm sorry your post has caused you so much distress. I hope your ok. I think it's good to talk and don't mind discussing anything. I think because we are all suffering through mental illness that sometimes we are a bit more sensitive and take things out of context. Chin up

[Findingme]

Because you have everything you need and nothing left to strive for and maybe life has got a little bit dull. Some people need challenges in their lives, or are used to a certain level of drama. Trust me, if you thought you were about to lose it all you would suddenly appreciate it much more. Not to suggest you take risks with your relationship though. Things could go very wrong and being divorced is not as exciting as some might make out. Instead, think what you can do to inject some new challenge to your life that is achievable and will not cause trouble at home. Also, learn to appreciate the moment more. It goes so fast. Do you ever look at old photos and think how much prettier and slimmer you were than you thought? Well if so, maybe you are someone who is not able to see things clearly. Ask a friend to describe your life from a new perspective.

If after all this you are still unhappy, I am in the market for a nice settled life. Just send hubby over to me :).

[Obriens3 in reply to Findingme]

Thanks for your reply, you are right there are still things I want to do with my life. I need to get out more in the evenings during the week and stop wallowing. I did go to the gym last week for the first time in ages and I really enjoyed it. Although I have a wonderful man in my life I am not married and we don't live together as its a fairly new relationship. And No you can't have him lol. Your reply has cheered me up

[Findingme in reply to Obriens3]

Ah, well if it is a new relationship and you are feeling like this, hmmm..

Just be careful before making huge commitments.

Maybe there is something you need to do before settling down. This life we all strive for: the perfect house, job, relationship, it is all a construct that keeps us focused on fitting in and being content with our lives and paying our taxes etc. Works for lots of people but not all. Might be time for some thought about what you really want out of life.

[BrightStar85]

I feel like this from time to time as well - and only when I take some time out to really think about all the wonderful things I have in my life do I appreciate it all and that in itself lifts my mood. If you can give yourself small pockets of time with no distractions - whether it be a walk, going to the gym or relaxing in a place where you feel safe and warm, use that time to really think about all you have that's good and rich in your life. Sometimes I even write everything down so I can actually see it on paper - then I say those things out loud "I have a wonderful boyfriend who loves me and would do anything for me." I instantly feel better. It may take a few times of doing this, but for me, having those precious moments to reflect really helps me to refocus and take back some of the control I lose when I'm feeling down. I hope that helps anyway

[Obriens3 in reply to BrightStar85]

Thank you for your reply, I think your right I need to set time aside every day even if its only 10 minutes to think about the positive things I have in my life.