Severe lack of motivation.

[Alicerrr]

How can I avoid being affected by my family's position towards my sexual orientation, concerning being motivated, I feel affacted by it. Also my "love life" is so not helping, any suggestions?

Merry Christmas everyone. ❤

[Stilltrying_]

You don't say much, but the topic is interesting in light of what i recently posted on similar topic. You will find plenty of support on here whoever however you are. It isn't easy dealing with antagonistic family ; you don't say what's wrong with your love life but I guess it isn't going well. It's a difficult time of year for all this sort of stuff. If you want to say more maybe we can support you a little more. If not sending you Merry Christmas wishes too.

Gemmalouise

PS Oh I see you are from another country where it is even much harder to be gay and also this may be the reason why you didn't write as much as I expect English not your first language. Sending you warm Christmas hugs. X

[Alicerrr in reply to Stilltrying_]

Thank you so much, I appreciate you taking the time writing that great comment. I'm just not used to talking to people about my issues, I guess I'm still working on it. I don't tell my family much because they have already sort of put their rules which is a big NOPE, lol.

[Stilltrying_ in reply to Alicerrr]

Oh ok; well please do take good care of yourself and I am glad it helped. X

[Alicerrr in reply to Stilltrying_]

My English skills are not really that limited, hah.

[Stilltrying_ in reply to Alicerrr]

Ah yes, sorry; I can see that X

[Alicerrr in reply to Stilltrying_]

Nono, I didn't mean to sound upset, I was just saying, I know anyone would have inferred the same.

[Photogeek]

Hi there and welcome. I think most Gay people find it hard to come out to their

Family. You can be open here, as people are great and totally non judgemental.

Are you Depressed? Lack of motivation is a common symptom. Ok hope to see

You here again and have a chat.

Hannah

[Alicerrr in reply to Photogeek]

I guess I am, I've got to this point where I barely have any sort of emotions, and if I get any, they're negative, sad and full of anger, I'm pretty much lost most of the time. Thank you, Hannah.

[CarolineLondon]

Hello

Can I make a suggestion, as Gemma said we dont know where you are and some places give gays a hard time, its all so ridiculous, its like punishing a Panda for being a Panda. You are what you are, doesn't make you any less important or worthy than anyone else. Are we all really on the sum of our sexual orientation. If that's supposed to be true well those who choose not to have sex at all ( I forget the term) would have no value at all!

Look up gays, get on the ole internet and find you are in good company. A number of gay women have done amazing things in this life and without their work we wouldn't live the progressive comfortable lives we do now. I think you are suffering from being isolated. Look for the good stuff and find the pride in your choice.

Homophobia makes me so cross because its like racism completely pointless, seriously Im going to look down on someone for the colour of their skin, give me a break!

Who you are is your mind and your spirit, it just happens to get about in a body and a body has its own ideas about things..lol.

Lets do a quick explore, now Im not one for generalisations (well sometimes I am) here's what I know from first hand experience. Mostly throughout the world even, Gay people live in the best places, especially in London. All the best postcodes /areas are flooded with Gays so good for them. So what do you have to have to live in a good postcode in London? Either a very well paid job (so you are talented) or a great network of friends to support you until you get there or both! Most gay people look after themselves and dress well or are at least aware of grooming.

And here it comes the Biggest cliche but its true, ALOT of gay people are either VERY funny, witty and smart or Both!

Now lets look at being a hetro, what I look forward to is relationships with men who I categorically don't understand! At least you have some insight into the female brain, thats a HUGE plus. I can't have kids, but if you got a donor you could end up in a happy marriage (if you wanted that) and still bare your own child naturally.

Oh come on Alice there are soooo many plusses! Being Gay is like belonging to a special exclusive tribe! Lucky you!. I want you to feel excited about this, if not today then soon

You won't always be with your family one day you will move away and make your own life and when you do, being gay well so what, it won't stop you. And it if you don't want to tell people don't, since when was telling someone your sexual orientation a given!

BE PROUD, Dont let anyone make you feel less than you are. Your a power house of talent and if it takes study to buy you your freedom, to get you work so you can leave home and set up with a lovely girlfriend, well there's your motivation right there. See the bigger picture, you wont be were you are now for the rest of your life, embrace you newness and looook it up! AND have fun you wasskle you

BIG KISS XX

You have arms, legs, running water, a brain, your smart and talented, who cares about the rest and families well they will judge you over anything. Just bless them and look to your own secret plans of escape to the sunshine! You have sooo much to look forward too. WELL DONE for opening up it cant be easy. Im very proud of you!

Oh and talk here to the others they give such great advice. You are not alone Alicey Alice, take heart, be strong and KNOW our are RIGHT and worthy and a great person!

[CarolineLondon]

Confused a) It's not Christmas is it...seems springy to me b) Motivated to do what?

I'm going to take a guess here, since you pointed out your 'sexual orientation' and most hetros don't may I take it you are gay? So what is it they don't accept you? Or they do accept you but aren't happy about it? Or all sex is disgusting (as per my mum who had 5 kids...lol...now theres creative thinkin for you).

Alice I dont know you, obviously but you are who you are and sooner or later they are going to have to accept that or you are going to have to change (which is unlikely), so play the long game. Be relaxed in yourself and they will relax, let them come round in their own time and maybe check out how other gay people have approached the subject with people who find it difficult, the good news is you aren't re-inventing the wheel.

Take it easy be kind to yourself and take it slow, break things down in to manageable chunks and deal with it when your feeling strong. The rest of the time look at other stuff in your life that you enjoy. It's easy to get wrapped up in what others think of us, but its not their life it's yours and you deserve to be happy, however that goes.

Good Luck and sending a HUG XX

[CarolineLondon]

Oh this is an old post get it now...lol. It said posted a few seconds ago...weird. Still hope things turned out well for you in the end XX