If You've Ever Chased A Dream

[StressBuster]

Why do you think people stop chasing their dreams? Everyone wants to achieve them. Why do they abandon them?

[Cinamon181]

I don't know about anyone else but: I had life goals and aspirations that lasted throughout my public school years. I knew what I wanted to be, where I was going for Uni, where I wanted to work, where I wanted to live...the whole thing. down to a science really. and when it came time that I graduated and was accepted into the school I wanted I changed my mind. It was out of shear fear of it not working out. I kicked myself in the butt for a while, but I look back on it now and can seriously say I made the right choice. sometimes fear can push you in the right direction, when the right direction is the wrong one...I don't know, just me.

[Allestklar123]

Simple answer is because set backs can knock your confidence. Some dreams are too big, I'm not getting my dream of world peace any time soon. Sometimes it's because the dream is actually someone else's and not really what you want. Sometimes it's because circumstances change and it's just not practical.

Suggestion: work out what you want in a perfect world, then work out the smaller steps you need to do to get there, then give yourself credit for the small achievements on the way.

[WantToChange]

Well, my dreams blew up in my face, that's my reason. I wanted to be a teacher and I chased that dream until the end. I got onto one of the most prestigious teaching courses in the world. I tried my heart out and I thought I would make a brilliant teacher because I would care about my pupils and I love my subject.

But it turns out I couldn't be creative enough to be a modern teacher, I couldn't interact with the pupils very well, I struggled to implement advice into my lessons. I would plan a lesson down to a T. But in practicee, it's very different. Things go wrong, lessons are interrupted, children misbehave and can be absent and I couldn't deal with deviating from my plan as often as required. All of this is pretty much down to the fact that I have Asperger's Syndrome (which I didn't know when I was on the course as was only recently diagnosed). That's why my dream didn't work out.

But you know what? I couldn't cope in the teaching world anyway. Teaching isn't what it used to be, kids have sooo many issues now. Schools are having their budgets slashed so teachers have to be more creative than usual which is beyond me, it is so political (it's the teacher's fault when kids fail, even though the disciplinary systems completely suck and kids get away with sh*t on a daily basis), and the days are long and lesson planning can take up your entire evening and weekend. No thanks lol. At first I was heart broken and pretty depressed but now I see I dodged a bullet.

My dream now is to just do what makes me happy. And to be honest, I'm happier now that I don't have these huge ambitions. Also, being diagnosed with AS has helped a lot as now I understand myself and know what limitations I have.

So yeah. I guess we have these dreams when we are young and then real life kicks in haha.

[amateurwriter in reply to WantToChange]

You sound just like me (not in a creepy stalkerish way, if that makes sense), when I was a little kid I wanted to be a teacher, that or a nurse/doctor neither has worked out, I'm now a level 2 gym instructor got qualified last year in june/july, I'm now looking for a level 3 personal trainer/gym instructor through a not so expensive course or an apprenticeship, but I'm also first aid trained so they both go hand in hand, my biggish dream at the moment and has been a dream of mine since I was about 10 is to become an author, I hope I can become an author one day because of all the help my nan gave me when I first started saying I was going to become an author when I'm older, because I will put a little bit at the front saying thank you to my nan even though my nan won't be able to see it.

I have a friend who also has aspergers and he says I may have that so I'm going to ask the psychologist next monday is there any way of finding out if I do or I don't, because I've never felt like I've ever fitted in with anyone, never managed to connect with people that much and have been really shy ever since I was really little, I have been able to connect more with disabled children (when I was a kid) and disabled adults, (hate the word disabled but can't think of a better word, because nobody is disabled every is able to do different things and not everyone will be able to do the same things, be a pretty boring life if everyone was able to do the same things) not sure if that's because I'm shy or don't connect with other people or because my brother is disabled as well.

Sorry started waffling there.

I think part of it is due to when your a kid you think anything and everything is possible, but then you get older, you get responsibilities, jobs, family and health problems and things come before your dreams and then sometimes they just disappear.

[WantToChange in reply to amateurwriter]

You can see a specialist for AS. The waiting list can be long depending on where you live. AS has basically exploded and they say 10% of the population have it (they didn't even discover it until 1990's). Awareness is still increasing. A lot of people don't know what it is and I usually have to explain it. I'm exhausted from explaining it because it is difficult as AS is on a sepctrum and is different for everyone. I usually try to make that clear when describing it.

It could be possible you have it considering you feel you struggle to fit in. I always felt like this and I always used to stick with one friend. Apparently I would play on my own as a toddler as well. My mum never told me this until recently. But she said I was quite happy on my own and just wasn't interested in the other kids. I can be like that now as well. I like it when it's just me and my bf, in fact I love life that way. And if he wants to do something on his own like play the PS4 I get a little defensive as I'd rather we did things together. But I know I tend to do this and I try to hold back when I feel like that. I mean, I don't wanna suffocate the guy! In fact, I went through to the bedroom to leave him to play his new game he just bought. He likes the sofa to himself when gaming haha. He won't ask me to move or anything, but I know he likes to stretch out :). Anyways, AS affects me every day but now I know I have it I can tell myself to behave when I'm being silly lol.

You are right. I don't know anyone who has really realised their dreams... I suppose the people on the course who made it as teachers (which was everyone but me lol). But not all of them had wanted to be teachers since their teens, like I did. Some of them only thought about it in the last year before they applied. Bit of a joke really, but that's how it goes. I used to want to be a writer as well but then realised I rubbish at it lol. I don't have much of an imagination now that I'm an adult.

It's cool you're a gym instructor. Maybe you could be my personal trainer? Haha the Lord know I need it! hehe xx

[Hidden]

Interesting post thank you for putting it up. I never really had any dreams or ambitons except to be content and to survive so I find that hard to relate to. I was always too busy trying to survive to spare any thought for the future which was always a big blank. I never thought for 1 moment I would make it to 40 let alone 60! I have never had anyone who believed in me enough for me to believe in myself.

Bev xx

[WantToChange in reply to Hidden]

To be honest, I think having big dreams can be a bad thing. It can be disappointing and depressing when they don't work out. Or you can spend a long time chasing them which is a waste. I was given the impression at school that I could do anything I put my mind to. Well, that wasn't true now was it? haha. I'm just glad I've been able to adjust my desires with what I'm capable of and I'm happy to live within my means. There's no better way to be. Ambition can destroy you I think, unless you actually achieve what you set out to do!

[Hidden in reply to WantToChange]

Ha ha I was given the impression at school I couldn't do anything I put my mind to!

I went to an all girls school back in the 60's. The really bright ones went to train to be teachers, the ok ones worked in an office, a bit thick and you did shop work and if you were in the bottom class you went to work in a factory! Nothing against shop or factory workers. That was just how it was in my day

Girls weren't encouraged to do anything other than 'women's work'.

It's a lot different now thank goodness.

Bev x

[WantToChange in reply to Hidden]

Yeah it's much better now that things are different. But it still has it's own problems. Eg so many kids go to uni now because everyone is seen as being smart enough, now we have tons of graduations with loan debt who can't get high paid jobs and aren't earning enough to pay back their loans.

They shouldn't have done away with apprenticeships I think.

Plus like I say, it leads to much disappointment when you realise you can't do anything you put your mind to lol.

[StressBuster in reply to WantToChange]

Brilliant analysis, WantToChange. I was told over and over by my parents, siblings and teachers that I was talented in art (without much proof to show for it)—I believed it—got accepted into an expensive private university—graduated with an enormous student loan debt—and post graduation, could not obtain a high paying creative job. Instead, I've been living in poverty, paycheck to paycheck with my dreams demolished and battling depression.

[warren218]

Life gets in the way

[Suzie40]

I think it happens when reality has to take priority. I gave up thinking about retraining for a new career when I started to realise how expensive raising two children as a single parent would be x

[vasco]

I used to cry myself to sleep but after reading these comments I feel like Im not alone in this.

I was raised in a very poor family as a kid. I was clever but dad had no money for my education. It all sucked. I Nursed a dream to turn things around for my family and rewrite my family history of poverty.

But I so loved my mum and wanted to please her, probably because she was my hero and supporter. I tried paying her back by becoming what she wanted me to be- a priest. 11 years down the line I realised 1 was living someones dream though good at it. My dream pushed me out. I quit my mums dream and set off for my dream. I worked my bum off for three years trying to realize my dream.

While working too hard, sickness blew my life and dream apart. I suffered devastating bacteriemia meningitis with untold complications. Right now I can't even take care of myself very well. I still got the passion but have no clue what to do with it. I only cry so much that my dream can't be realized anymore. I Always feel frustrated angry and how unfair life could be. It always bring me down to emotional ruins. But what can I do really? I guess reality has kicked in. I might not realize my dreams after all. That could be so depressing