Mental Health Support

Holiday blues

An old college friend is treating me to a week in Lake Como. It's such a gracious gift, and she wouldn't take no for an answer.

Now that it's all booked, I am worried that my bad days could ruin the trip for her.

I have tried to explain: no matter how hard I try I just get a couple of bad days every week. Between depression & long term chronic pain, in the last 4 years the most I've managed to function is 3 out of 7 days. I know all the pain management folk say pace yourself. I've tried believe me. But my body just gets so physically painful, then my mood slumps & I'm under the duvet for 2 days, then I struggle back up for 2 days. The combination of pain & very poor/ bad mood makes me horrible to be around 4 days a week.

I can't help thinking this could ruin our friendship. I don't think she really knows what she's letting herself in for. So now I'm stressed and it's 4 weeks before we go. Any advice would be helpful.


9 Replies

If she knows and likes you enough to be treating to you a week away, I reckon she'd be prepared to take one for the team! Why don't you just be honest with her? Tell her that due to the nature of your difficulties, there may be a couple of days during the break that she might want go do her own thing? She might well want that anyway? She's offering this gift as something for you, as well as herself, and I'm sure she'll want to know that you had the best week possible x


Thanks Lucy,

You're right I just need to be upfront with her. I'm sure we'll be ok. We did work & live together many, many moons ago.

Cheers, Catherine.


I agree with Lucy , just be honest with her, and I think most people like

A bit of space on a holiday. I'm sure she would not mind doing her own thing

For one or two days.

Maybe you will feel better than you think. Enjoy it you lucky thing.

Hannah x


Thanks Hannah,

Will do my utmost to enjoy the break. Haven't been out of the country since 2008. I know you're right, and it's reminded me of KISS - keep it simple stupid!

It's definitely not a hardship to go to Italy for a week.

Will let you know how it goes.

Night and sweet dreams.


maybe the warmth and light of the place will help your pain ,and you will feel more relaxed once you are there.

lake como is a lovely place.

pete xx.


Thanks Pete,

Sure you're right. No need to stress about a holiday, especially to Italy.




Two things Lake Como, fresh air right, good food, new scenery, all this might lead to a week full of a new you, worth a thought.

My Mum who can be a nightmare when she wants to be, a few years ago decided to visit my sister who was at that point in India, I went as shaperone. I think we went for 2 weeks, no more than 3 thats for sure, well it was years ago! Anyway in the Sun and with good food, good company and rest my mum turned into a calm, peaceful, angel....seriously it was truly amazing. Unfortunately it never happened again but my point is this, you may surprise yourself, Italy may surprise you.

Breathe the clean air, notice the vivid colours, listen to the birds, let life enthrall you, let the Gods amaze and delight you. And for a moment before you go entertain the idea that this might be a lot of fun. We get so used to worry, predicting the worst sometimes we forget to entertain the idea of what might happen if it all went right :-)

Secondly have a pact with yourself and your friend if you do have two off days, well you agree, you rest in the hotel, or hotel gardens and she goes on tour for that time by herself and everything is kept low key. She I'm sure will be open and helpful and considerate if she knows before hand. You do what you need to do, to make sure your okay, take the painkillers, your fave book, crossword puzzles whatever normally helps you through a bad time.

Nature does you a power of good, being somewhere new allows for new ideas, new hope.

I hope you have a wonderful time, no more than that Im willing to bet you will. Don't force yourself to enjoy anything rather let the magic come to you and it will. Well done on manifesting something that is good enough for you, grand enough for you, you deserve it.



Thanks Obewan,

I intend to be mindful that the world is a beautiful place and hopefully regain my sense of the wonder of nature......although I'll probably fall off the boat or something..LOL!

Will provide an update on my return. Take care. Catherine.

P.S. What did the hurricane say to the palm tree?

Hold onto your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job!


Lol that's hilarious! The Joke I meant.

Oh shh fall of the boat.

Reminds me of the two old grumpy gits on Harry Endfield, who walked along the deck of the Titanic pushing people off, in the middle of the storm, saying "Women and Children first"

Yeah lady you enjoy that nature and bring back the sunshine pleeease!

:-) XX


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