A reason to live.

[Humphrey42]

Work- Accounts no real interest/passion. Family/ Mother 2 sisters. failed relationships no children. No real male model-that's so important. Outside work so alone. Holidays for last 20 years on my own thats so effecting. Also i left home to move into a flat 2000 it shocked me how my family showed no interest, i was on my own. I don't think anybody truly cares. If I was too put myself on a top floor car park. All the emergency services would think ok another attempted suicide.. Mental heath, practice just another case too be processed. The only real significance is family=children everything is immaterial, unless you have value, interest and importance.

[Hidden]

You seem to have been on this site a while ago and it is sad to say, you have no-one who you can talk to. When it comes to relatives you seem to have been let out to dry in a thunder storm.

I am fortunate now I am married, although no children. Our dog keeps me occupied and being a Collie He has an independent strike that sees him hiding away when He gets the chance.

Before I met my wife I had been engaged once and I like you had restricted access to a good friendship base.

Before I got engaged the second time my life was taken up with Youth Leadership and associated courses and Ballroom/Latin Ballroom dancing the latter I became quite adapt and I seemed to make male and female friends, although on the female side most was dance partners, so that became my life from 1971- 1979. Yes I had dates and also I qualified as a Youth Leader and met people there, although many were associates and it was rare that I made actual friends and my family and work associates would get annoyed with me spending so much time on the dance floor and working in Community Centres.

What I am trying to get to is I was basically rowing my own canoe and I also sent my holidays alone. So after a time I went to a Dating Agency and there I met my future Wife through Her Sister who was registered on the Agency books, now we have been married thirty years.

Now I have been retired and I do Voluntary Works within the NHS and spend time on several of these sites.

Many of us have problems meeting people and I found that to try and do some form of activity to get you out and about, only you can make that happen. Try and associate your interests with looking for someone new, there are many ways of putting yourself out there. What I have seen especially now is that many people have problems meeting people, it seems really bad over the last ten years with dance halls closing and Night Clubs seem not to be supplying a need that many people have. I started dancing at Night School and I was lucky that an old teacher took an interest in me and showed me some very good sequencing etc so that may be some way to just get out and about. Over the years I would go out for a drink in a pub although sad to say nothing seem to be worth a candle there so all I can suggest is just get out and about you will not make friends or associates being stuck in the house.

I do not know your hobbies or interests, all I can suggest is try different things just for the Hell and you may never know. My life in my twenties after a failed engagement were taken up by associations and getting to know people. Just look at that for a way forward

BOB

[Hidden]

You seem to have been on this site a while ago and it is sad to say, you have no-one who you can talk to. When it comes to relatives you seem to have been let out to dry in a thunder storm.

I am fortunate now I am married, although no children. Our dog keeps me occupied and being a Collie He has an independent strike that sees him hiding away when He gets the chance.

Before I met my wife I had been engaged once and I like you had restricted access to a good friendship base.

Before I got engaged the second time my life was taken up with Youth Leadership and associated courses and Ballroom/Latin Ballroom dancing the latter I became quite adapt and I seemed to make male and female friends, although on the female side most was dance partners, so that became my life from 1971- 1979. Yes I had dates and also I qualified as a Youth Leader and met people there, although many were associates and it was rare that I made actual friends and my family and work associates would get annoyed with me spending so much time on the dance floor and working in Community Centres.

What I am trying to get to is I was basically rowing my own canoe and I also sent my holidays alone. So after a time I went to a Dating Agency and there I met my future Wife through Her Sister who was registered on the Agency books, now we have been married thirty years.

Now I have been retired and I do Voluntary Works within the NHS and spend time on several of these sites.

Many of us have problems meeting people and I found that to try and do some form of activity to get you out and about, only you can make that happen. Try and associate your interests with looking for someone new, there are many ways of putting yourself out there. What I have seen especially now is that many people have problems meeting people, it seems really bad over the last ten years with dance halls closing and Night Clubs seem not to be supplying a need that many people have. I started dancing at Night School and I was lucky that an old teacher took an interest in me and showed me some very good sequencing etc so that may be some way to just get out and about. Over the years I would go out for a drink in a pub although sad to say nothing seem to be worth a candle there so all I can suggest is just get out and about you will not make friends or associates being stuck in the house.

I do not know your hobbies or interests, all I can suggest is try different things just for the Hell and you may never know. My life in my twenties after a failed engagement were taken up by associations and getting to know people. Just look at that for a way forward

BOB

[Suzie40]

I think you might be a bit depressed ...

[Hidden]

Hi Humphrey,

You sound in a very lonely place at the moment and battling to think of a solution, which you seem to think will only work if you have someone close to you? You have so much value, but need to give yourself a little compassion and love. do you find it easy to give it to others? if so treat yourself with some of that kindness and love.

Depression will make you feel that way and make you feel that you have no control over your own destiny.

Perhaps we don’t? but giving up trying will never work either. life really is very short but worth the effort to do something with it, so don't think of depriving youself from a better time than you have at the moment.

Sooner or later you have to take stock of your life and what you like doing, even once you are in a relationship you will need to have focus on what you like doing rather than living a subservient life with another person if you would like to get the most out of what life has to offer and feel love in return.

There is such an abundance of things you can do, even if you make it a life time ambition just trying things to do then turn round and tick them off the list as things you don’t like! So many interests and hobbies will involve meeting others and focusing on the topic itself is often the icebreaker to talk and get to know people.

Being stuck in a job you don’t really like is always one of the most difficult things, having always having to consider the financial aspects of changing direction can easily keep is in that situation! Is there any way you can make it a much nicer atmosphere? Play music, through earphones or something, plan lovely walks in break times so you have something to brighten up the day between work that you can look forward to?

Our ideas of family life can be very different from the reality of things, sometimes it can be nicer never having had children than end up with ones that you find you cannot ever relate to and can’t understand how they turned out the way they did! Parenthood has never come with a user manual and we don’t have as much control over it as we think we should sometimes!

It’s very typical once you are at such a low point to feel like this, and you might need meds or counseling to bring you a little way up, but once there you still have to be the one to do all the hard work of deciding what you like and want, next to just companionship, you might not have discovered those things yet, but have faith that there are so many things out there that you will discover can make life enjoyable and well worth living, find those and then who knows who is also going to enter you life so you can share so much more?

Take care, hugs to you.

Moni xxxx