My wife suffered depression and left me taken away my lovely kids with her.

[baharahamz]

My wife always complained of severe headache and depression. I advised her to go doctor to get help n advice but she never listen. I loved and trusted her with all my heart and provided her best living but she always complained for a better life and intentionally seek argument. She several times attempted to harm herself by overdosing medicine or jumping from the windows. Last week she had an argument and called the police and made allegations that I beat her up. The police released me with no charge as I proved innocent. The police told me my wife had left home taken my kids with her. I don't know where they are now and don't know what to do. I miss my kids Alot as I raised and looked after them more than their mother. I can't live without them. I feel as if I'm dreaming all this. I never ever imagined this can happen to me and my wife become so cruel on me. Life has become like a hell for me. every time I imagine my kids my hands n feet shaking, my face change colour and I hardly can breathe. When I imagine my kids my eyes fill with tears then I can't stop crying . I don't want my family to break up. I fear for my kids health and safety incase she lose control and harm herself and the kids. I contacted the social service about this but not been told what action they are going to take. Somebody help please.

[Suzie40]

That's so sad, and I am sorry that you are experiencing this pain. Do you think that she is a risk to herself, in terms of self harm or suicide? If so, you should contact social services and make them aware. If the children were not involved in the reason she has left, and she doesn't feel that they are at a risk, I am sure she will be in contact soon enough to arrange for you to see them.

[Hidden]

I am sorry things have been so difficult and now you are not able to see your children, that must be very painful for you.

Your wife sounds to have been very unhappy with you for whatever reasons and it will have been hard for her to leave but it is now very sad for you not to be able to see your children which you will have a right to do unless a court order says otherwise.

In guess the first step for you is to find out where your wife and children are, perhaps by asking people she knows or the school who will not be able to give out an address but may be able to forward a letter from you to your wife. Perhaps if she does not respond you might then see a solicitor - with legal aid if necessary - in order to ascertain your rights and what can be done to ensure you see your children regularly. I know that will still be painful for you, but you have a right to know why you are not being allowed by your wife to see them.

In terms of fearing for the safety for your children I think notifying social services that was a caring move to make but now you must leave them to follow up on your report. They do not have any obligation to tell you what they will do, in fact it may be that they have a right not to given your wife's report of violence from you - I know the Police released you but nonetheless the needs of your children come first. A solicitor will be able to advise you about the situation.

[baharahamz in reply to Hidden]

Thanks Alot for reply, I don't think this is true that she was unhappy. I did everything to keep her happy. I believe her uncle whom left his wife n kids in Holland n remarried here has misguided my wife. I have strong feeling she will come back if she only uses her own sense but I fear if she listen to her uncle, he will ruin my life. Note that her uncle is unwanted and hated person by my father in law, his mother and other relatives.

[Photogeek]

Hi there I'm sorry to hear of your. Troubles. Everyone has given you sound advice

Here, all you can do is wait and try and stay as calm as you can,getting visitation

Rights to your children will be sorted out.

Do you have family or friends who can give you a bit of support. The calmer and more relaxed you can stay is the best thing you can try for at the moment. You could always

Go and get Free legal aid and see what to do next. But really I feel you should just

Give your wife the time until the situation. Cools down.

Hannah

[Hidden]

Hey baharahamz i know how your feeling, & your bound to experience all kinds of unwanted emotions & feelings..All i would add to the great advice already posted, is that you have to try to stay in control of yourself as much as you can..I think it would be a good idea that if you can somehow get in touch with her, is to send her a message saying that you still care about her & the kids, & if she needs any help at all you will be there for her & the kids for whatever she needs..Then if she does ask for some help, you have to be there for her..Try to stay positive, even though i know how hard that will be..I only say that because the alternative is to see it all as negative which is of course how it seems at the moment, but being & staying positive is your best chance to change the situation for the better..So try to keep yourself busy, & try to use the time to get on top of everything else in your life..I know that's not what you want to do at the moment, but at the moment it's the only thing you can do that will help the situation..When what happened to you happened to me i did all the wrong things, & i argued with her then i begged her then i hit the booze & drugs etc..I mean if you do get to talk to her it won't do any good at all arguing with her, & she sounds like she has some emotional problems that you don't know about..You mention that she has tried in the past to harm herself, & one thing I'd like you to consider is that she might not know herself why she did it..So i wouldn't advise blaming her for anything at all even if something is her fault, because she might not realize how she really feels & she might probably be just as confused as you are..It might just be a temporary situation, & that's why it's vital you can remain in control of yourself, & not make the situation worse..So if you can get to talk to her try your best to remain in a neutral position, & no matter what she says to you about you listen but don't react negatively..Arguing or defending yourself with her is a waste of time that will achieve nothing positive so if she'l let you, just be there for her & the kids & stay on top of everything else & see what happens..I really feel for you but it's now about maximum effort, & you have to try to think logically before you make any hasty decisions....I know it's very hard to stay positive in a situation like yours but your situation might just be what is needed for you & your wife, to finally sort everything out once & for all & be happy/content together..I think it's worth a shot, & i wish you the best.

[Photogeek in reply to Hidden]

Hi Dave that's very good sound and practical advice.

Hannah

[Hidden]

Hey thanks Hannah, i appreciate it..I just wish i could put a lot of my thoughts into "nutshells", & so not have to leave massive replies all the time..I don't mind writing them, but i know they can be too much info all at once sometimes..I think baharahamz made the right first move, by coming on here & posting his thoughts..So he is entertaining the possibility, that there might be something that will help his situation..So i hope he comes back on here soon, & lets us know how he's handling everything.

[marmar12]

sorry to hear this mate. Clearly your Wife is troubled and unhappy but if shes had suicidal tendencies having a positive Father figure for the children is important. Get some legal advice go and see a lawyer or citizens advice and they can talk about your options. All the best.Also the Samaritans helpline are a great support and offer a 24 hour phone service they have helped me in the past