Horrible self esteem

[Butterfly77]

Does anyone have tips to fixing a low low self esteem. I want to demand respect when it comes to men and I want to love like myself I am having an extremely hard time changing. I've been to therapy for years on medicine for anxiety and depression and OCD but nothing works I keep picking men that don't treat me well that don't want to please me or meet my needs and are selfish. Please help with some tips another thing is I cannot let go. It's like I can't grow up

[Suzie40]

I don't think there's any 'fix' for raising self esteem. Lack of it comes from deep rooted core beliefs. With regards men, can I ask if the way you allow them to treat you relates to a previous experience, or is it how it's always been? X

[Butterfly77]

Thank you so much gemmalouise I do feel trapped and that I will never change. I have people that care for me my dad my stepmom and sister problem is I do not listen to anyone. I just continue to have the same patterns over and over again and I'm getting tired of it,

[Hidden]

Hi Butterfly

Well it sounds as if you are ready to start realising that you are worth more than the way you have been treated by men in the past and that's the first and most important step.

I guess now you need to be thinking about what you do want from a relationship and maybe also think about what you have to offer the other person. Practicing what you offer whilst holding onto knowing what you want will enable you to be clear in your communications and although it may result in a period of loneliness it will also enable you to gain self-respect and that's the first step to being treated with respect by other people.

You say you cannot let go - I know that feeling, for years I held onto patterns and feelings from the past. I came to realise that I didn't want to let go because I was too angry - and once I'd shared that anger I found things began to alter for me.

Suex