Finally admitted I have a problem....

[PW1980]

I suffered an anxiety attack yesterday morning, ambulance called and it left me with nowhere to hide. I've had to admit to my employer that I have been hiding my depression, but all it has achieved is the creation of more angst while I wait for a meeting to discuss it. I keep trivialising the issues in my mind which is making me feel like a failure, because I haven't been able to cope. I have experienced a lot of changes in the last 6 months. I've become a father for the first time which has been life altering, my wife suffered terribly after the birth of our daughter & flirted with her own depression and I have been promoted to department manager after my line manager took early retirement on the day that my wife went into labour.

Most, if not all of my depression seems to originate from my work. I don't enjoy it & can't seem to balance my home and work life. Too many issues come home with me and I am unable to shut down. I am neglecting my wife, friends and most importantly I feel that I am not giving the real me to my daughter.

Admission of a problem to my wife, family and friends is one thing, but how do you cope with a work environment that is the catalyst for the trouble you feel? I am actively seeking alternative employment, but in these times it's easier said than done. I feel trapped by money, bills and the recruitment agencies I have been dealing with all tell me how difficult it will be to switch industries. I'm in a hole & while admission has lifted a little of the burden it isn't a cure to the problem.

[Hidden]

Hi PW nice to meet you and welcome to the site. Well done you for admitting you have a problem - that is the first step to taking control. Depression and anxiety are nothing to be ashamed of, they happen to the best of us so please don't feel 'weak' or inadequate etc. it is not your fault. I understand what a difficult position you are in and emphasise. Can't offer any advice I am afraid but there will be others in shortly who will. This is a great site and we are a very friendly and supportive bunch - and we all understand very well how you are feeling, even if the outside world doesn't. We all support and help each other xx

[anne1964]

Hey there

I think admission is a big step so well done..... You have had some major changes in your life and many of us struggle with a new addition to the family but people don't talk about it!!

The job situ is difficult and I guess in the short term you need some coping strategies and the long term you are dealing with by looking for another job!!

Have you seen your gp and discussed help from them??

xx

[PW1980 in reply to anne1964]

Hi,

Yes I've been to GP who spent more time talking than listening. I have been prescribed Sertraline although I have had my doubts about taking anything as I don't want to become an altered chemical version of me.

After panic attack I revisited GP who has pointed to all manner of websites and blogs. NHS counselling seemed ineffective so now looking for a specialist who may have a different approach.

Meeting with my employer tomorrow, am really concerned about what this could mean for the future.

[wallflower_fairy in reply to PW1980]

Good luck with the meeting

I'm sure it'll be fine. xx

[aye_may]

wish you to have understanding and professional people at work. let us know how the meeting went.

best wishes,

A.

[PW1980]

Meeting postponed until Monday. Our dog died last night, seems as though it won't stop piling on top.

I ache all over & feel about as low as I ever have. My wife is understandably distraught and I can't seem to shake enough of this feeling off to help her.

[Photogeek]

Hi there and welcome here. It does seem you are suffering a lot of anxiety,

That's a pity as a new baby should. Be a time of joy and happiness.

I suppose you will have to try and make the best of your job until you

Get another, there is no such thing as a perfect job, Think about taking the medication too, as it will give you the space to make the changes that you obviously need to make.

There is also an Anxiety Site which you may find helpful.

I'm very sorry about your dog, that is heartbreaking , losing a pet at any time is

Very very hard, I lost my beloved cat two years ago and I was so upset. Was the dog

Old or ill? Not that it makes too much difference.

The site is very good and you do learn strategies to manage your stress and

depression even though we all have to do a lot of the work ourselves.

Talk to you again.

Hannah

[Gojo]

Morning. I have had depression on and off for years but work really took me down at Christmas. I too had to admit to my boss about how I was feeling. I had to speak to our occupational nurse who referred me to a CBT therapist. I have now had 8 sessions with another 4 to go. It has changed my life. Looking back i am glad that i went through terrible times because it was the catalyst for change. I still have anxious days and still take anti depressants but my outlook on life has changed beyond recognition. Occasionally my boss will ask how I am feeling and I find it an embarrassing conversation to have. I decided to stick with my job whilst I am adapting to the new me. I hope this helps, you are not alone. We are all here for you.

[Jenn27 in reply to Gojo]

Hi new member here I'm having a really rough time right now dealing with depression and anxiety of 10 years, as I finally admitted it to myself today that I do have a problem that can no longer go ignored. You said CBT therapy changed your life. that gave me a little glimmer of hope because i realized that I'm already in the hopeless phase and I'm starting to panic. I don't even know if this message will find its way to you but in case it does, please be so kind to tell me how CBT therapy was helpful for you so I can try to make the necessary steps in finding some help (and following through with treatment)