I am a sufferer have been for over 20 years but I am making enquires on someone else's depression issues.

[downinthedumps49]

He is my daughters partner he is in his early 20s and suffers from depression and he has a problem getting to sleep, he has seen councillors who have suggested that he read a book before bedtime and his doctor has put him on sleeping pills but he says they don't work, my daughter tells me that when he does get some kind of sleep he still wakes up tired and has seen a tear in his eye once or twice all he wants is to go to bed at a decent time and be able to sleep right through. Does anybody have any tricks that might solve his problem please. Many years ago I had a great Doctor the taught me how to put myself into a relaxed state he made up a 5 min. tape putting in positive thoughts best thing since sliced bread I was wondering if anybody could suggest how I could buy one commercially that he could try.

[Hidden]

Hello

Yes, after he goes to bed read one chapter of a book, some play a book recording, the former just clears and slows the brain and clears it from the days muddle. The played back book does the same.

Another way is to put on the radio,preferably the news or talking channel if preferred he can wear headphones

Your GP may be able to get you some relaxation tapes if you prefer.

The sound of a recorded voice seems to calm us down

BOB

[downinthedumps49 in reply to Hidden]

Hi Bob the recordings, when I was about 5 years into depression bouts I changed my doctor as the previous never explained anything to me it was just a case keep taking the pills, I became housebound and with drawn the person that got me motivated was my wife by giving me an alternative either seek help or she was going to leave me with the kids it was very scary but I made it to the new doctors with my wife the Doctor that I had was brilliant and down to earth he didn't believe in medication he was an alternative doctor he put me on a medication to flush out the crap that the other doctors were giving me, then he told me to bring a tape to surgery and he put me in to a deep relaxed state for 5 mins he put in positive thoughts and I was to listen to this every day he taught me how to put myself under and bring myself out again as long as I felt that I was in a safe environment it worked great it got to a stage when I was under I heard the beginning of the tape and the end as for the middle it did not exist I was so relaxed that I went to sleep and slept for about 1 hour and woke up refreshed this is what I am trying to find out how I could get this for tom (not his real name his part was played by an actor lol) the lad is getting so up set all he wants to do is have a full nights sleep but we all know that some doctors just turn a blind eye to you and you are practically begging on your knees till you are blue in the face you know that there is something out there for you but you just cant find it. So rather than him going through 20 years of it and it is still with me, in this day and age there must be a way to cope with it and not depend on your doctor to say yah or nay on the subject.

[Gambit62]

You could also try a body clock - a light that does an artificial sunset and then you can chose to wake to an artificial sunrise - this can help with going to sleep - mine is linked to the radio so the talking or music gets gradually quieter as well.

Relaxation/meditation can also help.

Reading can actually go both ways - sometimes it helps and sometimes it doesn't. Think the studies on that one have always been rather mixed - or may be they have become mixed recently.

What sort of lighting do you have - this can also affect sleep patterns - particularly in the winter.

Avoiding really bright light after 6pm may help.

At the end of the day, even if the GP can't help - he may be able to refer on to a specialist who can but you often have to make a bit of a pain of yourself/stick to your guns if you do want to be referred.

[downinthedumps49 in reply to Gambit62]

Hi Gambit, thank you for your suggestions where could I buy a body clock for him, The other setback is that he works constant back shift in the retail business it was the only job available at the time and jobs are hard to find at the best of times.

[Gambit62 in reply to downinthedumps49]

I think Argos do a very simple version - mines more upmarket and more pricey and was purchased from the manufacturer - a company called lumie - quick google and amazon do a few - including one really basic one at £14.45

Really sorry to hear about the shift working as that, unfortunately, is likely to be the main cause of the disruption to sleep patterns - very bad news.

We tend to get different qualities of sleep at different times of day. Contrary to common culture our body clocks actually work on a 12 hour cycle rather than a 24 with 2-4 being the times when our bodies really want to conk out and get the best quality of sleep. He could possibly try refocusing his sleep on a different part of the day so he catches the afternoon rather than the early morning low point and that might help. However, I'm not an expert and he probably does need to see if he can may be get referred to a sleep therapist.

[Hidden]

Hi

I am not surprised at the suggestion that reading might help him sleep but when depressed I find reading is something that is very difficult to do. I would suggest he tries the opposite - he might try writing about how he feels when depressed, particularly that he might think about when he first became depressed. Depression is often considered to be a natural response to situations that are difficult to cope with and where the person feels they have no ability to change things, hence the term learned helplessness and the difficulty in moving out of depression. If your daughter's partner can be helped to express the things that initially led to his becoming depressed then he might find he feels more empowered. It may be that he has been depressed as a result of some particular event or series of events, or it may be that he found things difficult whilst growing up or that his upbringing did not prepare him adequately for adult life, perhaps for an emotionally close relationship or to know what he wants to do with his life or how to be successful in interactions. Understanding the depression is likely to enable him to sleep more soundly as he begins to feel he can be helped to move on from the depressed feelings he brings with him.

If he is able to talk with your daughter or yourself that will be even more helpful, but often people find it easier to first express their feelings and talk about them with a stranger. The GP might refer him to a counsellor which might help, but writing can often be a good first step in acknowledging the full extent of the feelings and where they come from.

Sue

[downinthedumps49 in reply to Hidden]

Yes I totally agree with you Sue I have always found that talking to a stranger better than talking to family or friends, the stranger is neutral, I have tried in the past writing down my feelings and it did make a difference I felt better and thought that I have achieved something.