as i am now fed up of waiting for the cmht i have decided today is the day
Are the police allowed to remove my m... - Mental Health Sup...
Are the police allowed to remove my medication from my house?
Was this prescription meds, then the answer should be no. For anything else obtained illegally then they can, depending on the amount.
It depends if the visit from the police was because you expressed thoughts to them that made them concerned.
Why did they come and what did you say to them? I'm sure they saw that you were very distressed and wanted to help you.
How did you feel after they took the tablets? What did they take? Xx
How are you coping now? Have you gone to a&e? How did you leave it with the police? Sorry to ask so many questions, I want to be supportive to you, it's hard with so little information. I so sorry you feel like this, people do get past this and recover xxx
Hey hope your ok..
Not sure by your question if they have taken them or you think they might....I guess it would depend on the circumstances...
Have you been in touch with CMHT? And they said they were coming??
Thinking of you..
Sue xxx
Are you ok?
I've just found this post! Worried about you as I am sure everyone is!!!
Have you had your prescription medication removed?
I am sure they are only able to do that if you are hospitalised or committed because they then issue you each dose as and when you need it!
Deciding this is the day?????? Do you mean you are going to kill yourself???
Are you still here??? It would be very good if you have given yourself just a bit more time!!!
Nothing to be ashamed of there! it would be celebrated!!!
It would be a very very great waste if you have decided that you will just kill yourself and although I understand such a decision I would hazard a guess that you are in a reactive stage because of your horrific personal traumas and the feeling of being overruled by people trying to help but too insensitively recently, only too insensitive because they can't put themselves in your shoes & feel what you feel and at the moment you can't tell them clearly enough to make them understand but that can change!!!!
Reactive states often are fuelled by anger and frustration and if not too late try to turn those powerful emotions into shouting for help rather than self destructive behaviour!
It is better to go through the fear, anxiety, anger, shame and humiliation to name but a few of the powerful emotions you get flooded with in crisis moments than to end it all and be nothing!!!
When you are alive you are something even when you don't feel you are or your life feels meaningless and purposeless. When you find your way through you have been an intrepid explorer that has helped adapt the system for those that follow!!!
We are never alone in our struggles!!!!
When you are dead you are nothing in this world whether you believe in an afterlife or not you are not of this world no interactions no hope no communication no existence!
NOTHING!!!!
Although that may sound peaceful there's no consciousness so after time of rest we need when alive to recover and straighten our perceptions there is no wake up and find a better way!
PLEASE IF YOU ARE STILL HERE STRUGGLING!
IF YOU ARE WITHOUT HELP
IF YOU ARE ALIVE
LET US KNOW!!!!!!
If not able to contact us then peace be with you! You WILL be missed!
Much love and in hope Aurora xxxx
im still here just with a awful headache x
I am so so pleased to hear from you!!!
Headache because of pills? Alcohol? Or just the lack of sleep and extreme stress!!!???
I am so pleased I saw your response because by early afternoon I tend to be too foggy as meds wear off! Not from tomorrow though I hope depending how long it takes to increase blood levels again. I have to pick higher dose up after 2 this afternoon!
I am a bit scared to ask anything because I may not be able to a reply immediately! I have to feed and muck out and try to do the chores expected of me! I find doing ANYTHING very difficult when depressed I'm sure you understand!!!
Even if you are managing to sleep now I am sure you will take many days to recover from the high cortisol and stress related hormones that have flooded your body!!! Lack of sleep means your body won't have managed to expel them and repair their damage quite apart from any other form of damage from pills alcohol lack of food water etc!!!! It leaves me feeling like I have the worst hangover ever just from the stress and sleep deprivation!!!
Have crisis team arranged to come and help?
Are you going to be able to contact Advocacy Alliance by letter or email and get someone who can spend some time with you to identify exactly what you need and want to say to mental health sport services, the doctor and so on??? It will seriously prevent the stress you have gone through so far!!! AND STILL ENABLE YOU TO GET THE REAL HELP YOU NEED to work through things and actions of people that are still destroying your life! Once you are free of the hold on you of past memories and experiences you can give yourself a chance to REALLY ATTAIN YOUR WILDEST HOPES AND DREAMS!!!!!!
I will always get back to you even if I'm late or you've said something I find really scary and by the looks of it so will your other friends and well washers above (I have little concept of time I think that is the ADHD but I'm still working things out on that score) but I will help through here all I can so please feel free to message if you want it off main post or befriend me on Facebook which would be lovely!!! I'm old so bit slow on computer lol but love instant messaging and so on if people bear with me because I do come and go a bit tending to be hyperactive for days then crash sleeping long periods etc! I'm sure you've been able to chat to some of the others too. It is horrible to be lonely in this despair. It is very easy to be surrounded by people and still feel even more lonely when you feel no one understands!
Take care try to get right support and become
Well??? If your past didn't exist...... If you were feeling great ...... If you had the right qualifications ...... Enough money ...... The right support....... What would you really love to do or be??? What did you dream of being in childhood apart from being out of bad situation???
I'd love to know!
When you are up to it please tell me!
Have. Better day today I'll be thinking of you lots
Please stay in touch but just do what you can manage!
Get yourself some decent meals and sleep you deserve decent care!
Much love and wishing on my shooting stars for you Aurora xxxx
hi
sorry its took so long to reply
headache because of the pills i was heatbroke when i woke up cant even get that right altho it did knock me out for a few hours doing anything even moving from my chair is too hard at the minute im so tired if a hangover felt like this i would never drink again.
i have heard nothing else from the cmht since they did their assessment even the GP is wondering what is going on i have never heard of the Advocacy people but i will look into it and maybe get in touch
i hope your ok and i will try to write more soon
sarahx
Never worry if takes time to reply, this experience drains you of energy and motivation? I am just so pleased you are still alive!!!
I am glad you'll consider Advocacy Alliance but if you can't locate them easily Mind will help and provides advocates.
(I'm very pleased you "couldn't even do that right" if it is what I think it is! But even if it didn't have a final outcome this time, the headache shows a chemical hangover. A hangover is just a collection of 'side-effects' we experience as the body tries to detoxify itself! Doesn't matter if it is alcohol, chemical even food - you can get that feeling and I agree it is not something you want to do again - not fun!!!
Looking forward to hearing from you soon even if only an empty box to give me a link back to the post!
Thinking of you always, wishing you EVERYTHING BEST IN THE WORLD you so deserve it!!!
Much love Aurora xxx
Thank you so much for asking after me too!!! It's so nice to feel cared for! You really are a remarkable person!!!
I am bit disjointed - like my responses really!!! But I do feel quite well in many respects but had bit of a knock back couple of nights ago trying to attend a night class!, everybody hates me in there and I don't know how to adjust my behaviour and nature to stop the shunning and personal, unintentionally spiteful and unkind comments. I so rarely 'venture into society' anymore since my illness and break down and thanks to recent improvement in understanding of my own situation i am starting to make my way back quite successfully, but it doesn't stop or improve the way people relate to me and the effect that has on me so I am still fighting, still learning often flummoxed and lost but am still searching for ways to deal with these situations better and because its so late in life it may end up being the substance of the rest of my life but it is intriguing which makes it interesting and although painful may as an experience help others earlier so they get a chance to have a fulfilling life!!!
I feel like One of many Christopher Columbus characters of mental health! Lol. Psychiatry and psychology is still so new and although the benefit of ever improving technology provides us better and more in depth analysis of what is going on in our heads and we are finally starting to see patterns that link that expanding neurological evidence with influence of environmental factors, psychological influences and even nutritional imbalance which makes it feel that finally we may be moving toward treating everyone as a whole person and as an individual perhaps when this is finally achieved we will all be able to live better lives!!!
I apparently give off an 'aura' / feeling of extreme energy and irritation though I am totally unaware of it and have always been!!! It does explain why people don't stay around long at the same time a naïveté and child-like trust and wish to connect makes me easy prey for being used, bullied and or abused. At least I know why, I am getting feedback from people I can trust like the psychologist who can point out what is happening as it happens and explain how others see it how they may interpret it and with greater awareness maybe I'll be able to adapt and stop it ....... I do hope so!!!
Maybe first thing I should be working on is the long and incessant rambling thoughts that just pour from my mouth lol
I am sorry. ..... Yet again!!! ....... If you even got through any of this you must be bored out of your mind!!!.... I have no excuse it is a compulsion that has tormented and tortured me my entire life. When I am face to face I try to gag myself with polo necks I pull over my mouth and hands clenched to fists stuffed in my mouth but I still talk through them luckily when I do fewer people hear what I'm saying lol!l
Much love my dear please look after yourself
Aurora xxxxxx & hugs!!!
its ok u dont need to say sorry altho i have found my self saying it alot lately its the weekend again now and im still waiting altho for what i dont know hopefully i will hear something from someone on tuesday spent quite a few hours on the stairs again last night altho i have now moved dont want to go down that road again.
why dont the sleeping tablets work my gp has upped it to 40mg now i just feel spaced out not sleepy
Oh I totally understand that feeling! I was on sleeping tablets for years and they never worked for me! In my case it was the overriding anxiety I think fighting to keep me alert so that I could be safe. There is a section of our brain called the amygdala commonly termed the Lizzard brain. It houses all our instinctive controls, survival mechanisms and keeps us safe from danger. Well that is what it did when we were living in caves but now it confounds us by overruling our rational and reasoning centres in the brain and tries to keep us safe in the same way by giving us the flood of hormones to be able to fight or flee. In PTSD and many similar mental health issues, this part of the brain which was a fabulous resource when we didn't have bricks, alarms and protection In various forms and bear, wolves and other predators roamed wild in the forests of Britain but now it is not needed in that way we don not need to run from or fight the four legged ferocious animals just the two-legged variety!!! So after trauma and in depression, PTSD etc without being aware of it tap into this instinctive need for survival from predators and the body is awash with chemicals desperately stimulating us to be alert, active and safe while the rest of our brain is rationalising and reasoning that we are too sad too scared too tired and just wonder if it's worth going on. It's like the battle of the brains two sides battling inside one skull and all the time the body trying to remain alert to run. I was given a hefty dose of tranquillisers once to attend an oncology appointment and thought they hadn't worked at all because of the horrific levels of anxiety I experienced then I walked out to the car and stepped in to passenger seat with one leg swung my bottom into the seat and that was last I remember for nearly three hours. The 'friend' in the end left me there and went shopping because she couldn't move the leg outside the car to close the door. I must have been fighting unconsciously against the sedation until I finally stepped out of the hospital. Good thing I was wearing jeans, slumped half in half out of the car lol I always put my bottom in first then swing both legs in together now ..... I learnt my lesson.
I think I'd be better off in the wilds hunting and gathering to survive I'm probably more caveman than I'd like to admit.
I had to go to doc's yesterday then she made me go back for an ECG to check for damage because it looked like I had suffered a heart attack ..... Odd isn't it because apart from aching neck and shoulder and tingly burning left arm the pain in my chest didn't feel any different to the ones I get regularly that I have always been told and have therefore ignored as anxiety! I was thinking inside as I was feeling the discomfort "go on then give in I wanted you to for years i challenge you!" But apparently it hasn't even been damaged by the cardiac event! What tenacity there is to life!!! Even against all odds!
Are you feeling any better today???
A little stronger, resigned to wait but prepared to push for more help???
Is your name indicative of the area you come from? I started life in the South but live in the North now! Have been here quite a long time. I think apart from here, Scotland was the only other place I've ever had productive help and real support just because I move so often and don't normally get to see anyone except the doc I am registered with!
I suppose it is the cardiac event but I feel bruised all over and keep falling asleep LOL I started typing this when your post said 8 minutes ago and now it is after 9.30 ..... Unbelievable! I am normally awake all the time hopeless sleep patterns but since the ADHD meds I sleep well and regularly and now with this recent thing hopefully just for a short recovery period I seem to be dropping off head on chest even sitting here doing something. I'd better go feed animals and take dog for a walk before I go back to bed altogether!
I look forward to any reply when you are up to it
Take care; much love and hugs Aurora xxx)))xxx
hi
sorry for taking so long to reply but i was sleeping yes thats right sleeping im at a friends and she made me eat have a bath and go to bed i feel better .
i had a letter yesterday from the mental heatlth team yesterday i have an appointment next week but its at a centre 2 streets away from where my step dad lives they know this so im hoping they are going to do a home visit instead they can only say no.
i have heart problems so the dr doesnt want to change my tablets these work best with my heart meds but i think they dont work no more it kind of feels like the people who are supposed to help dont want to or dont seem to be able to. i had a good chat with my friend and explained how things were and she just got annoyed i didnt go to her but now shes fussing you will feel tired and very sore if you have had a cardiac event they get harder to get over as well .
i hope your ok i feel bad taking so long to reply
sarah xx
Hi,
I'm so pleased I just found this blog. What's going on with you?
I see you have a CPN, is he/she any good? Usually they are understanding and supportive so I hope yours is.
About the meds, it depends what they are and whether they think you are at risk of harming yourself. If they are illegal they can remove them whatever, but if they are legal meds they will usually only remove them if they think having them will put you at risk - of suicide - as far as I know they have no right to remove them otherwise. Are you at risk of harming yourself?
I'm sorry I haven't been around to support you for a few days although I see other people have.
I hope your headache is better now.
Speak soon, take care,
Suexxx
Hi,
Are you alive? I hope so. I'm thinking about you,
Suexx
if this is what you call it then yes im alive
sarah x
Hi Sarah
I know that feeling, if this is living... I'm glad you are still there and hope things improve for you.
Suexxxx
hi sue
im just fed up of waiting for someone to tell me whats going on even my gp seems in the dark so we have got to the weekend again and i still havent seen anyone kind of makes me lose hope that someone can help.
start fresh on tuesday is the only thing i can think and just keep myself safe until then
Hi Sarah
Waiting is hard, I know that feeling...What's Start Fresh? It sounds like some kind of new beginning, is it a group or something similar?
You do need help but whatever help you can get from the state is likely to be limited, so I am wondering whether some of us on the website can perhaps help you to develop skills to help yourself, not just while you ware waiting but in an ongoing way so you can change your life. I don't know what you think about that, but between us all there will be as much knowledge and skill as you can get from any mental health worker and although we are not there with you we do care and want to see you feel better.
It's great that you want to keep yourself safe, that's always the most important thing because you can't be helped if you are no longer there, and it's good that you managed to have that bath the other day, it shows that with support you do take care of yourself better. I wonder how else we can help you to take care of yourself in other ways and ensure your needs are met. If you would like us all to help maybe you can think about what other day to day things are an issue for you right now, i.e. sleeping, eating, shopping, I don't know what, but perhaps if you tell us we can offer advice and support while you are waiting for someone to come. I know you hope they will help whoever they are, but they will only be with you for a little time whereas we are here most of the time although no-one can there there all the time as you know from when you were on the stairs and none of us were online.
How can we help you to cope better with waiting?
Suexx
hi sue
i meant start fresh trying to get some help but im now safe at a friends and i got a letter for an appoinment next week but too colose to my abusers house im hoping they will come to my house.
its so nice of you to offer support and i dont know what i would have done without you all over the last couple of weeks i went to a very dark place it didnt help that after 4 years i started to self harm again. i have slept for pretty much the last 24 hours and my friend has kind of taken over which was nice when i was so tired but now i want to be on my own i think this is my biggest thing at the minute trying to isolate myself. that is my next thing to tackle or maybe i will make that food thought i would be hungry by now
i will write more soon
sarah xx
ps im thinking of ways
Hi Sarah
Oh that's great! I'm so pleased you have some support right now and I hope things go well with the appointment.
Deep in touch,
Suexx
Hi Sarah
Thinking of you ......
Sue xx
thank you x
Thank you for replying to my blog today..means a lot...especially as you are suffering at the moment...
Hope you are bearing up ok and have managed. To get some help....
Love sue xxxxx
hi sue
as u will see from above no i am still waiting for some help i dont know what to do now short of taking myself up to the hospital and telling them they have to admit me
hope your feeling a little better today and made it to your new appointment yesterday
sarah xx
Hello again
I hope this change in weather has helped give you a boost???
Being a long weekend it's a bit of a drag and I'm hiding away from the crowds! How are you?
Are you venturing out or taking it slow, safely inside. I just wanted you to know I like many others I am sure are thinking of you and wishing you well!!!
Much love Aurora xxx))))
Hi Sarah
I was just wondering how you are coping with the waiting, especially as it's a bank holiday - I hope you are feeling ok. I just wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you.
Suex
thank you thats so nice of you x
I hope you are coping with the waiting. Don't forget that the Samaritans are always there, and in many areas the freephone Mental Health Matters line. I know exact responses depend on whether we happen to 'click' with the person we get at the time, but it's well worth trying.
I'm glad you're still here and - whatever I might have thought a few days ago, I'm glad I am!
If I can be of any help, please message me.
Ann
hi ann
they have been now for what good it has done i dont want to go to hospital they want me to i have another appoinment on tuesday which he is bringing a dr to i have the feeling i will be forced. when i get like this its impossible for me to speak i lose my voice so thats helplines out really it just leads to more frustration trying to make myself understood.
im glad your still here too
sarah x
hi sarah how are you doing hope you get some help soon. love soniaxxx
hi Sheffield of course they will see you that is their job. just explain you were too ill to go if they ask you. if not just make another appointment. keep posting and let me know.
i think thats if i could work up the courage to move and get the phone to call