I need help coping with anxiety and confusion

[secretsubject]

Hello everyone, please read my post and help me.

Few details about me

👨 Male, South Asian, 26-years old, 90KGS, 170CM

💊 Type 2 diabetic, HB1AC - 9+ and BP - 140/110 taking metformin and losar

I used to be very enthusiastic and energetic even when I was found to be a diabetic at 24. I've been working in an IT company for 3 years, with no work pressure, good pay, and too much comfort zone. But in recent days, I have had zero interest in work, hate everyone for no reason, and always feel annoyed, tensed, and in a rush.

I am getting married in a couple of months. My fiancee fully asks me to spend time with her and I hate putting in effort. I am not sure what is even happening to me.

I always think I should work on this situation but somehow, I keep pushing.

Please suggest some practical tips that will help me change my situation.

[STEM_Dad]

First, I'd recommend seeing a mental health professional (if you aren't already). A drastic change in attitude, a loss of interest or enthusiasm, can indicate that there is something else going on.

If not caused by a physical issue, such as hormonal imbalance, or a glandular problem like hypothyroidism, then look to psychological causes like depression.

~~~~~

I also work in IT.

I've been in this field for 12 years, but tried various other career fields before I found this one.

• I have found IT to be a good fit for my interests and abilities. However, not every role I've had in my career has been a good fit for me. - I am particularly interested in helping people. (I've been this way my whole life.) So, I really like the front line of IT Support. My favorite job ever was at a Computer Help Desk.

• My current job is an elevated Service Technician role. I end up dealing with more advanced tech issues, which takes me away from helping people directly. I feel more under pressure and less motivated, so I'm not enjoying my job most of the time.

• Others I've known are the opposite. They felt like dealing with people was tedious, and they wanted to get to focus on the specialized tech, like servers and networks, app development, database management. I can do all those things, but I can't do them all consistently well because they don't keep my interest.

>>{I've probably helped people with 10,000 password resets, and I feel like I could do 10,000 more without losing enthusiasm. But I'm getting sick and tired of dealing with the endless whack-a-mole of dealing with network issues, and the tedium of server management. Others like fine-tuning systems. I just want them to work well enough to make people content...and let me have human contact again!}

~~~~~

So, regarding the job:

> Are you bored? Have you lost interest? Is it not challenging enough?

> Is your career progressing the way you want it to? Or do you feel like you need a change of direction?

> Are you overwhelmed? Are you uncomfortable with the direction that your work organization is headed? (That was a big issue earlier in my IT career... when I felt that some people in management were making questionable decisions for the organization.)

> Has your work environment become stale? Do you crave a change of venue?

~~~~~

This one, I consider more important, because of my own beliefs about relationships and marriage. (You might not feel as strongly as I do, but I think the most important decisions you can make in life are about who you want to marry and why you want to be married to them. I also feel that these decisions are critical, because after 20 years of a marriage that I thought was going to last, I now find myself divorced, and lonely but hesitant to pursue a new relationship.)

Are you ready to get married?

Are you having second thoughts?

Do you feel excluded from decisions about the wedding or plans for your married life together?

Do you and your fiancee have similar enough beliefs and values to help bind your marriage together?

• (Sometimes people have some notable differences the they cannot resolve. The question is, can you live with them, or are those differences a "deal breaker". For example, if one partner has always wanted kids, and the other is adamant that they never want kids.)

Do you have any regrets about leaving the single life?

Do you have any past or present issues that need to be resolved or at least checked before entering into a new phase of your relationship? Is there something that you are leaving unsaid?

Are you worried or concerned about anything? (Do you feel uncertain about the future?)

...Or is it just the phenomenon of "getting cold feet" that you're experiencing? That's common, and that hesitation almost always goes away after settling into married life. (Change and uncertainty are hard to deal with. But very often change is for the better.)

.....

For the record, even though my marriage didn't always go the way I wanted it hoped, and ended even though I didn't want it to end...I can honestly say that I have no regrets.

[Blackberry4582695729]

Maybe you have S A D - Seasonal Affective Disorder. I'm no Doctor but that would be my first guess. We are right in the middle of Winter, little or no sun to speak of and a mountain of bad news on main stream media. On top of that you have all the pressures associated with a large family wedding coming up, yours!

I would suggest seeing your Doctor and ask for a Vitamin D blood test. It can be particularly low mid winter. Thats the 'sunshine' vitamin and affects mood. You can also get home testing kits easily these days if you want to circumvent the GP and save a bit of time. Personally I take vitamin D3 4000IU throughout the winter anyway and eat foods rich in that vitamin.

The other thing to consider trying is a S.A.D. lamp. Widely available now. These simulate sunshine at the right wavelength.

Good luck!

ps

I didnt address the fact you are, like me type 2. Are you making any changes to your diet and exercise regime to get your HbA1c and weight down? Are these playing on your mind? Your self esteem? Perhaps this is something else your GP could help you with if you go to see him/her.

[Eadgbe]

It sounds as if you are spiritually depressed. You may also be caught between various cultural traditions. A counselor in your tradition might help you sort things out. You MUST be able to speak with your fiancee about these things. People your age are often not as settled in their careers as you are. You are young man of "military age." Maybe you need a battle. Certainly supportive friends could help, too. I have seen many men your age go through this kind of thing. It usually resolves for a decade at age 30, then it starts up again. If you are intelligent enough to get where you are at work, you are intelligent enough to find your answer and bring enjoyment and enthusiasm to your day. Go for it.