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How to approach parents about circumcision?

Aged 16

So I’ve been wanting to get circumcised for a while now, partly because I believe I may have phimosis and partly because it looks nicer and is recommended by my friends who have already had the procedure.

I did some research and, for my age, I found out it would be roughly £400. My first question; is this a normal amount to charge for a teen circumcision?

Secondly, presuming the price above is correct, how would I go about having an open conversation with my parents about this topic? (Looking for people who have done this before to shed a few tips)

Thanks in advance!

Edit: Typo

59 Replies
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You could do some stretching to fix phimosis for free, and btw I don’t think it looks better and their are very few men circumcised in the uk so a lot of women might think it’s weird when they see it first, you really need to think about everything that circumcision is going to involve before making the decision and your very young to decide you want this done. But if you really needed a circumcision you would get it for free by the NHS.

But to answer your actual question you just need to be brave and act like it’s nothing to you, just have a private conversation with them or you could talk to one parent about it, maybe your dad as he may understand it more.

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Also a few doctors don’t perform circumcision because they don’t agree with it.

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Okay, I’ll rethink the whole thing and ask my dad. Thank you very much for the reply :)

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Its the best thing you can do young man. It was really easy for me to talk to my dad as he was a medic in the army so understands about medical procedures and problems men have. Speak to your dad first and perhaps your uncles as well.

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What and why is the best thing to do, you don’t know what’s best for some random on the internet, just seems a little preachy.

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Don’t get it done if you don’t have to, it’s not a fun experience especially at your age

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Hey man im 15 and i live in new zealand and im going through the same thing and im trying to figure out if things may change as we age and if circumcision is something we need iv also made a post about this, just know your not the only one

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I have had it too and got circumcised a few years ago at 17. I first tried the stretchings but it didn't work. I'm very glad I am circumcised. It feels and looks so much better now.

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What things are changing as you age?

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Circumcision is an operation to cut off the foreskin, which is an essential part of the penis. What this means is that if you are circumcised, then you will have less penis and you will be missing the part with most of the nerves.

If your foreskin does not retract, then you have phimosis. If your foreskin does retract, then you do not have phimosis. It is that simple.

If you do have phimosis and many teens do because the foreskin has not finished developing, then it is a simple matter to do some foreskin stretching to make it retract at which point you will no longer have phimosis.

Circumcision is a difficult operation from which to recover. It cannot be reversed if you don't like it. Some guys say they have lost most of their sensation after circumcision, so you must be very sure that you really want a circumcision.

Looks are a matter of taste. Some persons like the circumcised look and others don't. One thing is clear. You will carry the scar for the rest of your life.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Circu...

Do not worry. You are normal for your age. Your foreskin is still developing. You don’t have phimosis. You have a normal, non-retractable foreskin due to your youth.

You are blessed with a protective, highly-innervated, erogenous full-length foreskin. Many unforeskinned guys would envy your foreskin. You display great wisdom in wanting to avoid circumcision.

You should thank your parents for protecting your physical integrity. Because of your physical integrity you will be able to have sex the way nature intended it.

sexasnatureintendedit.com/

doctorsopposingcircumcision...

Do not be misled by those who want you to have part of your penis cut off.

Every male starts life with a tight, non-retractable foreskin. Some get looser automatically and some need a little help.

The foreskin is supposed to be tight and non-retractable in childhood so that it provides protection, but it is supposed to retract and glide back and forth in adulthood. Teens are in transition between childhood and adulthood so frequently the foreskin is still non-retractable.

There are three possible reasons that a foreskin will not retract.

1. The tip of the foreskin is too tight to pass back over the head.

2. The frenulum is too short to permit retraction.

3. There is a fusion or adhesion of the inner foreskin to the glans penis.

It is not necessary to have a foreskin that will retract. Some men live their entire lives with a non-retractable foreskin. They can masturbate, have penetrative sex, get married, and father children with a foreskin that does not retract.

circumstitions.com/Restric/...

You may clean non-retractile foreskin with a rubber-bulb ear syringe. Just fill the syringe with lukewarm water and squirt it into the foreskin.

It is easy to make your foreskin wider and looser by manual stretching.

circumstitions.com/Docs/tee...

Almost all boys are born with a foreskin that does not retract. This is normal. It takes years for the ability to retract to develop. About ½ of boys have a retractable foreskin by 10.4 years of age. Many adolescents still have foreskins that have tips that are too narrow to pass back over the penis head. These foreskins may be gently stretched over a period of time to cause them to widen. In most cases, the foreskin becomes retractable by age eighteen.

When your penis is erect, gently pull your foreskin back against the head of the penis. As the head attempts to pass through the foreskin it will stretch the skin a little. Do this several times every day and in a few weeks or months your foreskin will widen and you will be able to retract your foreskin. Do NOT force retraction. Do NOT cause yourself pain.

It works by tissue expansion. Stretching skin induces “mitosis”, which is a word that means “division of cells”. New skin cells are formed and the skin expands but it takes some time. The increase in size is permanent. Be patient and give mitosis time to work.

The important thing is to put the skin under tension several times every day so that it will grow wider.

Betamethasone valerate ointment, which is available by prescription may help, but it won’t work by itself. Manual stretching is still required.

willywellbeing.com/forums/f...

cirp.org/library/normal/

thestudentroom.co.uk/wiki/T...

genitalwholeness.wordpress....

cirp.org/library/treatment/...

healthboards.com/boards/men...

15square.org.uk/

There are some who would want you to be circumcised. Circumcision is a horrible, mutilating, destructive, harmful operation, that takes off the best part of the penis. It should be considered a last resort after conservative treatment fails. One may prefer to remain as one is rather than undergo circumcision.

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It is just a matter of sitting down with one (or both) and explaining what you want to do and the reasons you want to. There are some men who love being circumcised and others who oppose it. This is your decision exclusively, if you feel that you would be better off being circumcised, then go for it.

Personally, I am not a big proponent of circumcision unless it is completely necessary. If you have phimosis there are other options other than circumcision you should consider first such as stretching. Additionally, I would take what your friends say with a grain of salt, especially at your age. They do not have a whole lot of life experience yet and this is a relatively large decision to make lightly.

In the end, this is your decision but consider your options wisely. Personally, I'd recommend waiting at least until you are 18 or even a little older to make this decision. At that point you would have a little more time to think this through and you wouldn't even have to reach out to your parents to have the conversation if you didn't want to.

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Don't get circumcised young man. Ask your father or your uncles if they had it done and what their opinion is about the whole thing.

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Hi,

It’s perfectly normal to want a circumcision and £400 is about right for private.

Obviously being underage you will have to get your parents consent, not sure the best way to tell your parents.

I had mine done privately which cost £575 a few years ago with skin glue. Honestly I cannot complain my experience was pain free with no complications, unlike some of the NHS horror stories you hear. Its honestly worth going private, there is no hastle or waiting for referrals.

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All those anti-circumcision people tell lies when they tell you that it's horrible to be circumcised. I've been circumcised at 17 and I can tell you that it's been one of the best decisions I ever made. There is nothing wrong with being circumcised unless you have a foreskin fetish as most of these anti-circumcision persons have. Many of them aren't even circumcised themselves or have been circumcised as a baby and thus can't compare. I've known both and can only say that it feels way better being circumcised!

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Tbh you can’t comment as you never had a working foreskin yourself so you also don’t know what is like, btw I’m not having a go.

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But what I do know for sure is that being circumcised isn't horribly!

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I know but it’s not the best option for most guys, most guys like having foreskin and some women would fine it weird because they probably haven’t seen a cut one.

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Here it's otherwise. Most guys are circumcised and women mostly prefer a circumcised penis over an uncircumcised one.

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Yeah but for versionroberts he would be in a very small minority as he live in the uk, I’m pretty sure most girls prefer uncut here. And most girls won’t even know what to do with a cut one here.

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I'm not sure about that. Do you really think that if a woman in the UK has a choice she wouldn't prefer a circumcised man?

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You commented just in time haha just about to sleep, and yes of course they would, it’s simple really why wouldn’t they want an uncut cock, it’s what they’re used too and it’s natural and it works like I should, I’m not saying a small amount won’t want a circumcised one, but what I’ve heard most girls find it weird tbh. I’m pretty sure it’s just an American thing.

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Oh and in some parts of Canada and Australia apparently.

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Oh yeah Canada most definitely!

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Most Canadian provences no longer circumcise their baby boys. BC rate is less than 50% and it has the highest rate excep perhaps in parts of Ontario where US influence is high. It’s nearly unown in the maritime provences or the prairies.

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Actually, in Canada, Australia, New Zealand, South Africa, Scotland, Ireland, and England, circumcision is seldom practiced on newborns. The US stands alone in this odd practice. It’s obviously driven by money, as American doctors profit by what they actually do. It’s not unreasonable to estimate that a busy OB circumcising all the boys he delivers would generate enough cash to pay for his luxury car. In addition, the manufacturers of the disposable circumcision trays profit greatly, as does there sales rep who supplies the hospitals. The biggest profit goes to the artificial skin manufacturers who grow skin from babies’s foreskins, to be used on burn victims, and the cosmetic manufacturers who use babies’ foreskins in their skin creams. Oprah has confessed to using them.

Take away the profit motive, and the rate of infant male genital mutilation nearly disappears. Proof of that is in the nearly zero rate of cuttings done to babies who births are funded by Medicaid is the 17 or so states where MGM is no longer covered. California rates are now less than 1/3, as only babies covered by private insurance are still being cut. Even those subject to coverage are increasingly being left intact as parental education on the subject spreads.

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But Canada and Australia are in the middle, they circumcise way more than the uk

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Only two or three provinces still do it. In Australia today, it’s rare.

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Yeah they probably never seen a circumcised cock. Btw, I read somewhere that your Prince Harry is circumcised too. You know if it's true?

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Yeah, it’s goes both ways, as the reason American girls like it is because they have only seen circumcised and so uk girls like uncut because it’s all they have seen, but I’m no sure weather or not prince harry is cut or not haha.

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The statement, "Most guys are circumcised", applies only in the United States, Philippine Islands, South Korea, Muslim nations, and Israel.

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That's almost half of the world!

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Not even close.

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You know it’s about 15 - 20% of the world ages 0 and up are circumcised, so it’s not half the world.

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That’s a fact. However, the rate among US newborns has dropped like a rock.

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It depends on where you live. I live in the south and most guys here are circumcised! In California it's less because there lives more people from Hispanic origin.

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Hispanics are people. Rates in Florida and Texas are low, and in the entire west.

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Timmy:

When a diseased or deformed foreskin is amputated by circumcision, then the outcome is likely to be positive. On the other hand, when a healthy, functional foreskin is amputated by circumcision, the outcome is likely to be negative.

In the United States, where you live, most circumcisions remove healthy foreskins, so they have a negative outcome.

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Most guys here don't care they are circumcised.

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Where is “here?”

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Well the first thing you should do is see a doctor and find out whether you are suffering from phimosis and actually need it done. Better to be safe with a doctor making sure it is the case than just "thinking" you have it :).

As for the cosmetic part, it is highly subjective. Some people prefer a cut penis, some people prefer an uncut penis. I personally am glad I had my circumcision done and the only thing I regret is I haven't had it done earlier and it could have saved me a lot of trouble, however mind you I needed it done and not just wanted it done coz of the looks.

What you should NOT do is being talked into it by friends. If you want a circumcision you need to make sure it is WHAT YOU WANT and not what others tell you.

As for approaching your parents, talk to your dad about it as your mom most likely won't understand, but I might be greatly underestimating her so take that with a grain of salt. It is your penis after all and you should be able to get circumcised, but once again only if you need it or if YOU want it. If they are against it, well then you have to wait for a few more years before the decision is fully up to you.

As for the procedure itself, it isn't a cake walk, but for me in was all worth it in the end. However I do want to remind you that I needed it so for me it was a no-brainer. Think about the reasons why you want to get it and talk about it to your dad or your friends if you want to so you can make up your mind yourself but once again do not let others talk you into it. Having said that, also do not let others talk you out of it, especially on these forums that are filled with guys with some odd foreskin fetishes trying to lie to you and tell you how circumcision is a mutilation and what not. I am telling you the decision is up to you and being objective, they will try to force something down your throat so it is better to ignore such fanatical people. Get as much information as you possibly can to make an educated and information based opinion and don't just listen to some random foreskin fetishists on these forums.

Best of luck. Should you have any further questions, feel free to message me.

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Hi firstly it’s a topic you definitely need to talk to your parents about before doing anything. It is surgery and therefore risks are involved. My nephew came to me with a really bad case of phimosis. So we researched stretching techniques and he started stretching his foreskin the same day. I also got him a product that is called phimocure but as he also had an infection. So he couldn’t use it straight away. Stretching can work and will if you give it time. If I was you I would talk to your dad first and then possibly a doctor as well. Your inner foreskin is very sensitive and remove this which is what happens with a circumcision you will lose this sensitivity as well. Just weight up the pros and cons of both before making any decision. Talk to your dad and see what he thinks. You are still very young and should not be making a decision like this on your own that can effect you for the rest of your life. Once it’s gone it’s gone. Surgery should only be used as a last result. Not as a quick fix or to make something like better. It’s not a good thing it’s a bad thing and I for one will never agree this is a good thing. I will only agree with surgery when other avenues have been explored and tried.

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You should know exactly what the foreskin is and what it does before you consent to the surgery. Here is some material to read:

cirp.org/library/anatomy/

Here is what some other guys said:

Circumcision experience

Here is a summary of the different kinds of pain you may experience as you recover:

Circumcision pain

Circumcision is a cutting operation. It is normal to feel pain during the surgical operation, however this is usually relived by general or local anesthesia.

One may expect pain after surgery until the incision heals. Ask your doctor for a two-week supply of an opioid pain reliever.

One may also expect pain when the sensitive head of the penis is exposed to friction from clothing, etc. It is no longer protected by the foreskin, so there is not much you can do about it.

One may also expect painful erections, depending on how much skin was removed.

Depending on how much skin was removed, there may not be enough skin left to allow for shaft expansion during erection and this may cause painful erections.

You may also experience phantom pain from neuromas that form where nerves were severed.

Masturbation after circumcision may be painful if you don’t use lubrication because of lack of gliding action.

Here is what your penis will look like after the surgery:

Circumcision scar

Male circumcision is surgical amputation that removes an essential part of the penis. It is a cutting operation and like all cutting operations, it leaves a scar.

All circumcised males have a scar that encircles the shaft of the penis. It frequently is brown in color and noted for the dissimilar tissue on the opposite sides of the scar. The tissue on the side nearest to the body is true skin. The tissue on the side nearest to the tip of the penis is mucosa. There frequently is a sharp color change, resulting in a two-tone penis. When one has dark skin, the effect tends to be more pronounced.

The only way to conceal the scar is by foreskin restoration.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Circu...

cirp.org/pages/restore.html

I hope you make a decision that is right for you.

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It seems you always copy and paste the same nonsense on and on. How pathetic!

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Timmy:

The same questions keep recurring and need the same answers.

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Your foreskin is there to serve you sexually for life. Removing it destroys sensations which circumcised men never feel.

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It annoys me that the anti circumcision lobby creates so many myths and lies about circumcision in order to prove their point. I even read somewhere that one of them thought it was uncomfortable to ride a bike because he was circumcised! I have never heard such guff! All I can say about these people is this: a man who is circumcised (and has been from birth) that says having a foreskin is better has no grounds for comparison. A woman who champions foreskins can and never will have any idea what it's like to have a foreskin, let alone a penis. And an uncircumcised man who says that having a foreskin is best is in the same boat as the circumcised man, as he has nothing to benchmark against. Men who contribute their life's misgivings, bad sex lives, whatever, on their circumcision do so because it's an easy target. Sex is in the brain, not between one's legs. Just remember that there are tens of millions of very happy circumcised men around the planet enjoying their lives and sex.

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Timmy:

Have you investigated the behaviour of circumcised men to see if any of that applies to you?

drmomma.org/2009/07/circumc...

newmalestudies.com/OJS/inde...

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In one of your quoted studies I read: "twenty-two self-selecting men from three websites: A Voice For Men (http://www.avoiceformen.com), Foreskin Restoration (http://www.foreskin-restoration.net) and Restoring For Men (www.restoringforeskin.org) participated"

These men have been selected from anti-circumcision websites! Of course that these men are in pain for the lost of something they never have known because it was being talked into by the anti-circumcision movement itself. But if you look around here you won't gonna find much men grieving for their foreskin.

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Anti-circumcision groups and websites develop from men who have suffered great harm from their circumcisions. Visit norm.org and noharmm.org to read the thoughts of some of the men.

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Nope it's the other way around. People were being talked into it.

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The men I’ve discussed it with haven’t been talked into complaining.

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Timmyboy:

My question is does any of that apply to you? In other words, are you denying your loss?

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It's typical for the anti-circumcision sect: if you are happy being circumcised then you are in denial.

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The question which you still have not answered is :

Are you denying your loss?

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Obviously you are either in denial and covering up your loss, or you deeply regret your decision and wish for others to suffer so you’re not alone. You have body dysmorphic syndrome. There is help for it. It’s not normal to cut off body parts

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neither. I'm just glad I was circumcised like so many other circumcised men. You are clearly not happy that you have been circumcised because you have never experienced a foreskin and you are suffering from it. But you project your suffering to other men. You do not want to see that there are millions of circumcised men who are happy with their circumcision!

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I suggest you start talking to real people. Most men with normal foreskins who submitted to circumcision for social reasons express deep regret over their decisions.

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It is truly amazing how people invest time into spreading some bullshit. "Most men" is a blatant lie as the majority of circumcised people disagree with you. Of course there are cases when people aren't happy about the result and sometimes it is botched sure. Anything can be, but the majority is perfectly fine with it. Let us agree to disagree, but seriously don't spread nonsense like the "circumcision gone bad" cases are the majority. Stop being stupid please.

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How many have you talked to? How many years experience do you have in studying the subject?

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