my erectile hell for two years

Hello,im a 56 year old man,and have been in a wheelchair since 1988,after spending the years 1985 to 88,being put back together,after an horrific attack on my regiment in belfast,where only four of eleven out of my Parachute regiment unit survived.Even being a a powerchair,i have still managed to father seven children,who in turn gave me eight grandchildren,pluse three great grandchildren.My problems began from 2008,the year i had my first stroke,but even after alot of rehabilitaion,i was still able the make love to my wife,then in 2010,i suffered a 2nd stroke,and a third one in 2012,and on top of that first one in 2008,i was also diagnosed with type 2 diabetes,but with everything and again alot of help,i was still able to have sex,and there was no change with my erections,i could get one at the drop of a hat,but that was untill july 2013,when after two of my friends decided to inform of their divorce,it was sometime after,i just could not get an erection,my wife was really understanding,but that just made things worse,then i would get an erection,but not be able to keep it,which left me feeling ashamed and guilty,and after a few more tries,nothing,so on and off i would make excuses to not go to bed,and after awhile,my wife and i stopped aproaching the subject of bed and love making,my paranoia began to get worse,believing my wife was laughing at me,and even sharing my problem as a joke with her friends,my thoughts of desire are still as strong today as they were years ago when i met my wife,when i get the odd day when i feel sexual desire,even though i know its stupid to try and go through with it,i often try to coach my wife into masterbating me,but even if she manages to ejaculate me,i just feel that she is doing me a favour to keep me happy,yet she does not want to,which makes things worse,and since febuary 2016,i have now feared to enter our bedroom at night,i cant sleep in there at all,i have tried to use my cealing hoist,get myself off the sofa,into my chair,and i get to our bedroom door,but cant go any further,i feel sweaty,sick,shaking,real fear strikes me,and im at the point tonight,where i want to end my life,and do not know what to do,im not a man anymore

2 Replies

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  • Have you discussed your problem with your GP? That would be a good place to start.

  • Some personal and possibly couple counselling may be in order. There is more to a man than the ability to have erections and pleasure their wives: courage, loyalty, inventiveness, wisdom, tenderness, companionship,, brotherhood.....the list goes on. Have you discussed your feelings with your wife? You may have lost something you held dear, but are you counting your blessings? Remember, the harshest critic almost always is yourself.... Now, learn to love and accept yourself, get professional help if you need some. Nothing wrong with that. In fact it is a sign of strength. Contact me if you wish to Skype about it, etc.

    I repeat: you are more than your problems. Many around you love you. Time to listen to them :)