I dislike my current self. I despise this caricature of who is standing here, representing me to the world!
I'd want to delete myself and just no longer have awareness of this difficult life I am being forced to live.
Damn, I just want to be non-existent!
I am not sagacious enough to see a point in the future when I'll feel stronger and better suited to be alive in this configuration, minus my best self, minus the friend who became my foundation and safe port.
Life can be a F*%king mess!