Unhelpful Ketamine and TMS

I haven't been able to work full-time in over two years. Dark days. Sleepless nights. Brain fog and cognitive impairment. This past summer I did a full course of transcranial magnetic stimulation, something like 36 sessions. No benefit. I am now almost finished with a full treatment cycle of Spravato esketamine. No benefit. Hope is hard to find. No drive. Disordered eating. Medications that seem to to nothing. I know that exercise would be helpful but I struggle to do anything. I found this board while trying to find some hope. I would be grateful if anyone was willing to share any optimistic messages. I am seeing my psychiatrist again next, but meds haven't helped and tms and esketamine haven't helped, and after over two years of trying different meds it is hard to think of trying again. So hard.

[Marysblue]

You have really been trying. I've been on some off label meds this year that I never heard of for depression. There's always something new to try. I thought I'd tried it all. Your psychiatrist should know some of these off label meds for depression. There are also natural supplements for depression that work. Please hang in there and keep trying.If you wait till you feel like exercising you never will. Just put on your shoes and walk 10 minutes and then turn around and walk 10 minutes back. 20 minutes is all you need to boost your brain chemicals.

[RottieFlood37]

Some days, I just walk around my room. Back and forth, back and forth. And it can be enough to give me what I need for a little bit. Even if it’s only enough to journal or to “play” with my dogs for a few or bathe, honestly. Sometimes it doesn’t do anything at all.

I’ve been reading this book ⬇️ and I would highly recommend it. It’s how I found this community and it’s given me a tiny bit of courage to look for someone to talk to again and tell my PCP that my med treatment isn’t working. I just have to figure out how to pay for that part…

You Are Not Alone