So i don't know what happened but I recently stole some baseball cards at a local store. It's not me and my mom and stepdad discovered my paperwork as i'm staying with them. I now have to face the fact that know i have a 3rd degree retail fraud on my record. I felt like i wanted to control my narrative and get someone to understand that i'm hurting and not healing.
I am now in an outpatient facilty M-F, which I'm starting to feel like this group understands me, but this happened the Saturday before I entered into this program.
What have I done with my life.
I have not told my girlfriend and this is killing me.
My mom hired a lawyer and my psychologist said he would write me a letter, but this happened in a county that has the toughest Judges, so i don't know what I'm going to do.
The meds seem like they are starting to work, but WHAT HAVE I DONE? I've never stolen in my life..................
Hi, The lawyer will help drop it down into a lesser charge so breathe. Getting help and sticking with your therapy and meds will look good to a judge too. Breathe. The question is why. Was it exciting? Fun being bad? The thing I am getting at is, sometimes the adrenaline boost or dopamine boost that comes with being daring can become addictive for we the MDD. Some people shop a lot and run up debt just for the thrill of buying things. Ask yourself what you got out of it. It seems to be against your nature but things are hard and weird when you are depressed.
The lawyer my mom hired claims that the district I am in the judges are not forgiving, so I'm so anxious and nervous about this. It was like an out of body experience and honestly at that point, I had visions of ending it, so I didn't care.
That sounds incredibly stressful. I checked your bio and you mentioned having recently been in a car accident. Concussion symptoms can include changes in behavior and poor impulse control. I’m glad you are getting treatment, it’s important to be kind to yourself and not blame yourself for any strange behaviors. Unfortunately, behavior and mood changes are common with concussions (depending on severity).
Yes i'm getting treatment, but now I feel like its too late. What if i go to jail? Have this on my record? The security person was badgering me and making me feel like I killed someone, as if I didn't feel bad enough about what I had done. He humiliated me and told me I need religion. The dude was pretending to be a cop..........he really messed with my already messed up train of thought and assumed I had priors, which I DO NOT!
That’s awful! I hate hearing/seeing when people who are already down get salt rubbed in their wounds. I’m sorry you experienced that! It’s definitely not too late and this is not the end of the road.
I volunteer for a group that works with felons reintegrating with society (my group focuses on voting rights). I’ve found that many people are gracious and understanding about past mistakes. We walk by folks everyday who have served time - we just don’t realize it!
Hugs - this is NOT the end. Just a chapter in the book of your life.
Keep doing the right thing and breathe. try not to stress out and create monsters =jail. It isn't real until you know the outcome for sure. It is a moment in your life, it will get worked out and know it will be behind you. I am routing for you.
I can't imagine how tough this must be for you. When life throws unexpected challenges our way, it can feel like everything's spinning out of control. I remember a time when I faced a similar feeling of confusion and regret. It was then that I stumbled upon this helpful resource [federal-lawyer.com/criminal...], which shed light on legal options and paths forward. Remember, you're not defined by one mistake, and seeking help is a courageous step towards healing and growth. Take things one day at a time, and remember, you're not alone in this journey.
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I am feeling hopeless
Just looking for a friend that understands. 
Laying down on the job of being a better me.
What should a person live for other than family?
Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder: I am proof that there is hope. 
